Frankie_J
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 27, 2011
Posts: 156
Location: UK
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 Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:42 pm Post subject: What words are you unable to say? |
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I picked up on something someone mentioned on another post and I can relate. It's like there are particular things that are harder for me to say to people.
Examples are:
"Thank you for my birthday presents"
"Happy birthday", "Merry Christmas" and other occasion-related wishes
"Take care" or "I hope you have a good time..."
"How are you?" (Normally hardest when almost forced to asked someone I don't know that well)
And so on.
I've been told by my own siblings that I apparently don't say thank you enough... but I never notice and I never mean to come across as impolite. There's just something there that makes it really awkward for me and I can't say it.
What words are you unable to say? |
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FishStickNick
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 05, 2012
Posts: 957
Location: My own head
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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Holy carp, this is me to a "T".
Let's see... I have a difficult time referring to my mother as "Mom." I just can't do it. She brings it up sometimes, but I can't verbalize why I don't do it. "I love you" is typically not in my vocabulary. I can remember saying it all of...once. "Happy birthday," "Merry Christmas," and so on are difficult; I have to kind of detach myself from the situation to say it. I only occasionally address another person by their name--there's something surprisingly uncomfortable about this, and it may be why I devise nicknames for people.
Thanking people can be tough as well--my sister once called me out over a perceived lack of gratitude. Ditto with apologies.
"How are you?" and other small-talk stock phrases can be difficult, especially if I don't know the person. "Hello" or "Hi" is about all the greeting you'll get from me. Saying goodbye or something like "have a good weekend" often comes out as something like, "Have a fine, fine end of the week." |
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Jory
Always in the wrong place at the wrong time
Joined: Jun 03, 2011
Age: 29
Posts: 6302
Location: Tornado Alley
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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"I love you." 
And formalities in general are hard. |
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sMeow
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 22, 2011
Age: 16
Posts: 231
Location: France
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:25 pm Post subject: |
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Words which imply emotions, typically. "happy birthday", "merry christmas", "I love you", "I hope you have a nice day (and other thnigs like that)", 'I bought you a present (or things related to these situations)"...
I can't say it, so I do an imitation of the voice of someone or things like that which acts like "masks" and it's easier. Saying it in english or another language would be easier too.
I don't have real problems with formalities, but I don't put too much emotions in it neither.
Also "good luck", I don't know what emotion I should put in it.
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TB
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 06, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 531
Location: netherlands
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Jory wrote: | "I love you."
And formalities in general are hard. |
Hardest thing in the world |
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FishStickNick
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 05, 2012
Posts: 957
Location: My own head
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:27 pm Post subject: |
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| sMeow wrote: |
I can't say it, so I do an imitation of the voice of someone or things like that which acts like "masks" and it's easier. Saying it in english or another language would be easier too.
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I think this may be why I often speak in needlessly formal language when expressing these sorts of things. |
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6284
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I find saying the words, "I love you" really hard to say. Anything that expresses my feelings for another person is really hard for me to say. I also don't like talking about bathroom talk or stuff about pregnancy and periods. |
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Wandering_Stranger
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 07, 2012
Posts: 1138
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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| lostgirl1986 wrote: | | I find saying the words, "I love you" really hard to say. Anything that expresses my feelings for another person is really hard for me to say. |
Same here. I think I've said I love you once - that was a sarcastic response to something my dad said to me. |
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Jory
Always in the wrong place at the wrong time
Joined: Jun 03, 2011
Age: 29
Posts: 6302
Location: Tornado Alley
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:40 pm Post subject: |
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The difficulty in saying "I love you," for me, has nothing to do with a difficulty in expressing emotion. It has to do with it being an artificial platitude, a formality, that's said just for the sake of saying it. To quote myself from a past topic about saying those words:
| Quote: | | I can't say it at all, even if I really, really mean it. I hate any phrase that you say just for the sake of saying it. When are you supposed to say it? And why are you saying it? Doesn't the person know how you feel about them? It's like saying, "You're wearing a purple shirt." I once had a boyfriend who asked me why I never told him I loved him. My reply: "I'm telling you every time I kiss you." |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8252
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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''Happy birthday''
''Thank you'' - I can actually say thank you to something like immediately when someone gives me something, but say if I have been at someone's house for dinner, I find it hard to say ''thank you for the dinner'' when I leave.
And I find call and response hard too, like when someone goes, ''how are you?'' and I have to say, ''I'm OK, you?'' I find it easier to say ''you all right?'' and they can do the call and response thing instead of me (I think that's what it's called).
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From: East UK
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brickmack
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Mar 19, 2012
Posts: 183
Location: Indiana, USA
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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| "Mom"/"Dad", "Thank you", "I'm sorry" (esp. if as a reply to, for example, someones relative dying), "Goodbye", anything that shows respect for a person whom I do not respect, formalities in general. |
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Niniel
Raven
Joined: Nov 10, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 118
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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''I love you'', and expressing feelings in general. I can say ''I love you'' if the other person says it first, but it is still very uncomfortable.
And I am unable to use cute nicknames for anyone...e.g. calling my husband ''honey'' or ''sweetie'' |
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Frankie_J
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 27, 2011
Posts: 156
Location: UK
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Niniel wrote: | | And I am unable to use cute nicknames for anyone...e.g. calling my husband ''honey'' or ''sweetie'' |
This too. I could never call my girlfriend "honey" or "sweetie". I call her, mostly, "wombat" because she's an Aussie and that's my nickname for her, but I only ever use other words like "darling" or "sweetheart" when I'm very relaxed and in a very whispery way. I could never casually go "Hello, sweetheart. How was your day?" or something. I'd use my safe 'wombat' nickname. And I never, ever can use the word "baby." But, weirdly, I quite like it when she uses those words for me. |
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questor
Hermit
Joined: Apr 24, 2011
Posts: 1983
Location: Twilight Zone
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:22 pm Post subject: Social expressions. |
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Yes, I agree with Jory. I have trouble saying these meaningless social expressions. Sometimes I just forget, because I am not really wired to remember trivia like this, and part of the time it's because I don't actually feel the feeling at that moment that would go with the phrase. But even when I have the feeling, I have trouble with the phrases, as they have such an artificial sound and feel to them, which makes them feel wrong to use. I also have trouble buying greeting cards for the same reason, as the sentiments expressed usually either don't fit, or, like in talking, feel so artificial and fake. They are basically used as social conversation keys and fillers, which are expected by NTs. If you don't use them enough the NTs get bent out of shape because you are not using the social codes enough.
I do try to use them sometimes, and I am okay with holiday greetings, but I don't see a real solution over all, as NTs do expect this stuff, but to me it's usually just useless and unimportant trivia. |
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VeggieGirl
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 02, 2011
Posts: 126
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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| I hate calling people I don't know really well by name. |
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