DaWalker
Dual Axis Personality Order
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Joined: Jul 12, 2009
Posts: 10837
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 Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:35 am Post subject: |
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| paolo wrote: | | And what is the interaction with the outer world of a contractor? |
Nice...because it's temporary, brief, impersonal and on my own terms.
I personally believe aspies have the ability to loneliness.
equivalent to an NT's ability to deal with society.
The latter is pure speculation, I have no Idea how they feel,
what it seems to me is that Aspies are self-motivated, NT's are society motivated.
If you take an NT out of society, he appears lonely, An Aspie appears unaffected.
If you put an NT in society, he's unaffected, put an aspie in there, and their lonely.
No scientist by far, just a simple observation, while pondering what I'm looking at. |
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philosopher
Raven
Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Age: 46
Posts: 102
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| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 5:21 am Post subject: lonliness |
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| Great discussion i agree that society if there is such a thing makes no sense fitting in becomes incresingly impossible as one gets older.Tonight iam am atempting to start a self advocacy encouragement group called autistics for autistics have no idea how it will turn out everone seems angry and defensive.If we dont get together and show the herd there is a better way and despite appearances we have a lot to contribute we might as well give up . |
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southwestforests
Phoenix
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Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Age: 49
Posts: 1138
Location: A little ways south of the river
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| Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 2:45 am Post subject: Re: lonliness |
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| philosopher wrote: | | and show the herd there is a better way |
Quite cynical right now  
Yeah, but if one of them opens up to the better way he loses his member of the herd identity and that scares the **** out of them.
Conserve the herd!
At all costs.
_________________
"Every time you don't follow your inner guidance,
you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness."
- Shakti Gawain |
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Justcurious
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 23, 2009
Posts: 41
Location: UK
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| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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Have to agree here with those that do not equate being a lone or a loner with the feeling of loneliness.
I am alone right now typing this message but have no overwhelming desire for any company, not even that of the internet. |
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elderwanda
Lemon Zing
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
Age: 45
Posts: 1555
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
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| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Justcurious wrote: | Have to agree here with those that do not equate being a lone or a loner with the feeling of loneliness.
I am alone right now typing this message but have no overwhelming desire for any company, not even that of the internet. |
I agree, too. I am usually alone, but not often lonely. Today I've been feeling something akin to loneliness, because I've been working on a complicated knitted cardigan, and I'm confused about the cable pattern. I wish I had another knitter here with me, to help me figure it out. But is that loneliness? Or is it just wanting help? |
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YouraWizardHarry
Emu Egg
Joined: Mar 30, 2012
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 9:31 am Post subject: 'All autistic people are loners' |
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| I have autism. DO NOT STEREOTYPE US. f--k you, you can't just go on a forum for people who HAVE AUTISM OR ASPERGER'S and say that they are all loners. HOW DARE YOU. |
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Brodi56
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 28, 2012
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 3:41 pm Post subject: Re: 'All autistic people are loners' |
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| YouraWizardHarry wrote: | | I have autism. DO NOT STEREOTYPE US. f--k you, you can't just go on a forum for people who HAVE AUTISM OR ASPERGER'S and say that they are all loners. HOW DARE YOU. |
I'm not talking about anyone else. I'm only talking about myself. There are times I enjoy the company of another person. There are other times when I frankly prefer the company of my dog while I sit by the fireplace and read a book. I don't think of myself as a loner, but maybe others perceive me to be that way. |
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lundygirl
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 19, 2012
Age: 44
Posts: 853
Location: Dorset, UK
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 6:22 pm Post subject: Re: 'All autistic people are loners' |
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| YouraWizardHarry wrote: | | I have autism. DO NOT STEREOTYPE US. f--k you, you can't just go on a forum for people who HAVE AUTISM OR ASPERGER'S and say that they are all loners. HOW DARE YOU. |
This thread is not about stereotyping people with autism or asperger's. It's a discussion on the theme of 'All autistic people are loners', and an opportunity for people to comment on whether they feel that loneliness = autism.
My thoughts are that perhaps autism by its very nature can lead to loneliness. If you struggle with social interactions, or suffer social anxiety or sensory issues then sometimes it is just easier to spend time on your own.
I too am ok with my own company much of the time, but I do get lonely and I wish I was able to get out there and make (and maintain) friendships. I have a lot of problems with social anxiety so I don't go out much anyway - it becomes a vicious circle. I'd like to go out, but my anxiety stops me from doing so. When I do go out, I find interacting with people a struggle, which makes me anxious, so I just want to get back home again. |
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ellora
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 28, 2012
Age: 40
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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| I enjoy my own company, and generally like to be alone. However, there are times when I feel that I would like to have a partner or significant other. my problem is that I do not wish to endure the dating process necessary in order to find someone. |
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Alien_Papa
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 08, 2008
Posts: 328
Location: Minor Key
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:16 am Post subject: |
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Autistic = alone, but not lonely.
Personally, I spend a lot more thought on how to avoid people than on how to engage people. |
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NicoleG
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 661
Location: Dallas-Fort Worth
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| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 12:06 pm Post subject: |
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From the wiki, which includes a formal reference to the quote:
"Autism" - used it to mean morbid self-admiration, referring to "autistic withdrawal of the patient to his fantasies, against which any influence from outside becomes an intolerable disturbance".
By definition, autistic closely means someone who shuns the outside world. This happens naturally as children, but as knowledge of the outside world increases, some people want to participate more with that outside world and begin to change their mindset from being as autistic as it was when they were a child.
I for one am a very outgoing loner. I like being friendly and having down-to-earth friends with whom I don't feel like I'm having to put on an act, but in the end, I will prefer to be at home in my room putting together a puzzle, listening to the radio, and absorbed in my own head over going out with people to a bar. I will prefer to work on a project on my own after someone has shown me how than to work with a group on a project - in fact, it quite bothers me when others are involved, usually because I know I have certain standards of perfection and control, and it's in everyone's best interest that either I'm in charge or I'm left alone. It's only when others look down upon me for that mindset and possibly shun me or talk bad about me that I begin to feel alone if I let it get to me. |
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Maerlyn138
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 03, 2005
Age: 41
Posts: 476
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
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| Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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I am definitely a loner, but I also get lonely. I have enough interaction with my kids during the week that it takes care of any loneliness I might feel. If I feel the need to "socialize", I just go to a bar or Starbucks or whatever and sit and people watch. Works for me. If I spend too much time around people I start to feel that internal pressure and need to escape.
_________________
We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
Aspie score: 159 of 200 NT score: 64 of 200
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BuyerBeware
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 29, 2011
Age: 35
Posts: 1038
Location: PA, USA
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:19 am Post subject: |
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| NicoleG wrote: | From the wiki, which includes a formal reference to the quote:
"Autism" - used it to mean morbid self-admiration, referring to "autistic withdrawal of the patient to his fantasies, against which any influence from outside becomes an intolerable disturbance".
By definition, autistic closely means someone who shuns the outside world. This happens naturally as children, but as knowledge of the outside world increases, some people want to participate more with that outside world and begin to change their mindset from being as autistic as it was when they were a child.
I for one am a very outgoing loner. I like being friendly and having down-to-earth friends with whom I don't feel like I'm having to put on an act, but in the end, I will prefer to be at home in my room putting together a puzzle, listening to the radio, and absorbed in my own head over going out with people to a bar. I will prefer to work on a project on my own after someone has shown me how than to work with a group on a project - in fact, it quite bothers me when others are involved, usually because I know I have certain standards of perfection and control, and it's in everyone's best interest that either I'm in charge or I'm left alone. It's only when others look down upon me for that mindset and possibly shun me or talk bad about me that I begin to feel alone if I let it get to me. |
This one, for the most part.
I actually, by and large, like people-- a few at a time, in small doses, and individual people as distinct from the herd with its mob mentality and stupid social games.
I prefer to work alone-- the thought of talking with others intimidates, the thought of taking them down with me if I screw up terrifies-- but I don't even mind working with others, as long as they're good leaders-- give clear instructions and are not wildly erractic in decisions or derisive of differing opinions. By and large-- no, as a categorical statement-- I have so little confidence in my own abilities that I'd rather follow someone who seems to know what they're doing than be in charge.
Notwithstanding, being significantly different from the herd seems to, by default, mean spending a lot of time alone (whether one wants to or not) and being kicked around often enough that one quickly learns to associate the company of others with danger.
_________________
I'm tired. I do not have sufficient strength remaining to persevere in the face of adversity. I accept myself as broken and conformity/compliance as the only acceptable existence. I give up.
What's on TV tonight?? |
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NicoleG
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 661
Location: Dallas-Fort Worth
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:17 am Post subject: |
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| BuyerBeware wrote: | | wildly erractic in decisions or derisive of differing opinions |
This is my boss. He is the most absent-minded, forgetful, bigoted, micro-manager on the planet. Ask me how much I enjoy working with him.... |
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edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 12:35 pm Post subject: |
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I don't relate to the concept of loneliness. The closest thing I can imagine is an unwanted silence (there are times when a total silence strikes me with horror, there is nothing to distract from the awareness of being so small and irrelevant and mortal).
I live my life to maximize the amount of time I can spend alone, and it seems like I can never get enough. I'd probably crave interaction if I was stranded on a deserted island, but I'm not, and loneliness is something that so far I have never experienced.
I don't believe that all introverts have Aspergers. Rather, everyone who has Aspergers is an introvert and shares some common characteristics. |
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