indianninja
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 15, 2012
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 9:19 am Post subject: |
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The older teachings consider women to be subserviant to men. A girl is supposed to be submissive, fragile, weak in body and mind, beautiful but not very smart, depends on her lover etc.Thats why most if not all fairy tell princesses(read the role model) are submissive ,and just sheds tear in captivity or misery waiting for their knight in shining armour.
Now this is present and still this is the mentality of many men and women.
I am a man, and while I understand equal position of husband and wife is a good thing..it is not possible cause they are different.One will subtly or overtly dominate the other most of the time and vice versa.
My take on this is a family should be communal; that is important descisions are to be made by family members with equal right.Do lottery.Do ballot .Do anything but all should have a say.Then the final descision will be made.
As for the chores I think husband and wife should take turns alternate day if they both work.
5:2 for the nonworking people.
As for sex..Do as you wish.I think its better to take turns by alt day with alt weekends in which one will be making the rules and the other will obey.Next day or week the other will get to be the leader.
Just my bit. |
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 9:30 am Post subject: |
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| indianninja wrote: | The older teachings consider women to be subserviant to men. A girl is supposed to be submissive, fragile, weak in body and mind, beautiful but not very smart, depends on her lover etc.Thats why most if not all fairy tell princesses(read the role model) are submissive ,and just sheds tear in captivity or misery waiting for their knight in shining armour.
Now this is present and still this is the mentality of many men and women.
I am a man, and while I understand equal position of husband and wife is a good thing..it is not possible cause they are different.One will subtly or overtly dominate the other most of the time and vice versa.
My take on this is a family should be communal; that is important descisions are to be made by family members with equal right.Do lottery.Do ballot .Do anything but all should have a say.Then the final descision will be made.
As for the chores I think husband and wife should take turns alternate day if they both work.
5:2 for the nonworking people.
As for sex..Do as you wish.I think its better to take turns by alt day with alt weekends in which one will be making the rules and the other will obey.Next day or week the other will get to be the leader.
Just my bit. |
Yeeah. My bf and I try to keep things as equal as possible. I chose the last movie we saw, he chooses the next. He chose where we ate last time, I choose next time. It's a good system for us. We tend to talk everything out, which is helpful I think. Hopefully we can keep this up.  |
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Keyman
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 24, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 399
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| Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 10:25 am Post subject: |
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Or one choose a movie both will like etc..  |
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 10:27 am Post subject: |
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| Keyman wrote: | | Or one choose a movie both will like etc.. |
We try to do that the best we can. But the past two movies we picked, neither of us liked it very much. Hopefully we pick something better next time. XD |
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coconapple
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 20, 2010
Posts: 63
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:56 am Post subject: |
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The one thing I highly recommend, is to learn how to cook old-fashioned meals if you plan on having children (either you or your boyfriend, whoever you suspect will be doing most of the cooking).
Nutrition is SO important to prevent sickness, bad teeth, bad eyes, and so on... you need to feed your children well until they become adults, so that they can establish a healthy body as they grow up.
Your children should have access to the best nutrition possible, that means taking care of yourself before you even get pregnant.
But besides that, I think it's OK if your house isn't spotless all the time. It's not the end of the world if you have a dirty sink once in a while. People are so busy nowadays, a messy house is expected unless some one stays at home or you hire someone to clean your house. But nutrition for your children should be a priority, health is so important. |
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edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 3:14 am Post subject: |
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Guys perspective: I think the homemaker thing can sometimes kill a relationship. And it's not always the 'submissive' thing it seems to be.
The first girlfriend I lived with, after we moved in together, she insisted on doing most of the cooking and cleaning. At the time, I sort of thought of it as temporary, maybe like some sort of courting or something, temporary special treatment. At first it was great. But it wasn't long before she started using it as leverage. A sort of debt was implied, which allowed her to play puppetmaster. At this point I decided I'd better pitch in, but ... then I discovered there was something almost territorial going on. I was blocked from doing things because, she claimed, I couldn't do them right. Everything was supervised, and inspected. A kind of powerlessness set in.
This was all decidedly unsexy. It literally got to the point I couldn't perform, it was like she'd transformed from sexy woman to evil stepmother, and that didn't really work in bed too well. I think we lived together only about 4 months. And none of it was very easy, because it was very very difficult at the time to articulate exactly what the problem was. I couldn't really explain why it wasn't working - it's not like we were having arguments or anything like that - and I had to go with some pretty lame excuses when we broke up. |
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frantichope
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 16, 2012
Posts: 25
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:04 am Post subject: |
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| Mindslave wrote: | | My grandmother is always going on about stuff like that. She once told me that my sister should cook me a nice meal. The last time I was up there she mentioned some song by Jerry Lee Lewis "Get into that kitchen and rattle them pots and pans! Get into that kitchen cause I'm a hungry man!" I find it sad yet comical. I think it's a generational thing. |
Feel free to correct your grandmother - the song, "Shake, Rattle and Roll," is originally by Bill Haley & the Comets and the lyric is, "Get out from that kitchen and rattle those pots and pans/Get out that kitchen 'cause I'm a hungry man."
He's not talking about food hunger.
Also, this thread is AWESOME. I'm learning so much!  |
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:13 am Post subject: |
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This is an interesting thread to be sure. My mom still says I need "wife training" but flips it on herself to say she needs "exercise training", my grammy needs "cell phone training" and my brother needs "cooking training." So we all need to learn a little something, huh.  |
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TheHouseholdCat
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany
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| Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 3:42 pm Post subject: |
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My mother sometimes says things that I feel are pretty... offensive. Usually, she's just being herself. She's not the "ideal housewife" herself, but sometimes what she says is pretty odd. If I dress in a strange manner or say something the wrong way. Also, she has this strange belief that people without kids are not doing what they're supposed to do. I don't know whether it's because she has two kids and never got the benefits that people without kids have.
I don't need "wife training". I need to find something to spend the rest of my life with. Or at least for the next ten years.
_________________
EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS
"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman |
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