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[ 762 ] |
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[ 19 ] |
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[ 80 ] |
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[ 123 ] |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 874
Location: On the brink....
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 Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:32 am Post subject: |
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If it's someone I don't know, usually I can tell by their facial expressions. I depends on the conversation. If things are going well with the conversation and something off the wall is said, I can usually tell it's a joke or sarcasm. If it'someone I know, I can tell because I know them and know how they joke. I have friends that can say something and I know they're joking and friends that will say the same thing and I know they are serious. Occasionally you get someone who's really good at joking and you just can't tell. In those instances you might respond as if they are serious and then they'll say something like "I was just joking". Then you just say oh! and say something like "I thought you were serious"!  So I think it's a combination of facial expression and what's going on in the conversation.
When the person on the phone stops talking (long pause) then it's your turn to jump in. Every now and again if the other person is talking and they are telling a long story or expressing themselves and it's going on for a while. The occasional uh huh or yeah when they stop(short pause)- if you agree with the statement, will do.
Sometimes you might start talking at the same time. At that point it depends on who wants to back down! That happens to me all the time and I'm the queen of talking on the phone-I'm doing it right now!  |
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katwithhat
Toucan
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Age: 37
Posts: 271
Location: Who knows
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| Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:16 am Post subject: |
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Question for NT's:
How in the world do you come up with things to say like "don't come at me all sideways" and how am I supposed to know what the heck things like that mean?
_________________
I see your lips moving, but all I hear is, oh, look!!! A cat... |
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Smartalex
Toucan
Joined: Apr 12, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 259
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| Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:15 pm Post subject: |
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We make things up all the time. I'm a vocal and outgoing NT tribesman and I ask, 'what does that mean?" Furthermore, I love humor so I bask in awkwardness.
I don't understand half of the slang out there. |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 874
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:20 pm Post subject: |
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| I think that slang can be cultural. The phrase you used I would say is Urban. I understood what it meant because it comes from my culture. A lot of slang is Urban so I think regardless of neurology if you aren't of that culture you could be clueless as to it's meaning. But there is so much slang out there even I don't understand it all. I have a teenage son and that helps when I don't understand something. |
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NTAndrew
Toucan
Joined: Jan 19, 2012
Posts: 280
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| Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 7:47 pm Post subject: |
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| IlovemyAspie wrote: | | I think that slang can be cultural. The phrase you used I would say is Urban. I understood what it meant because it comes from my culture. A lot of slang is Urban so I think regardless of neurology if you aren't of that culture you could be clueless as to it's meaning. But there is so much slang out there even I don't understand it all. I have a teenage son and that helps when I don't understand something. |
Slang can be generational as well. I am getting to the age where I am having trouble understanding some of the things young people say. |
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GossamerLights
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 19, 2012
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 4:09 pm Post subject: |
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Suspie no if you were and NT i don't think you would inherently know if the guy liked you. I'm NT and it was always something i thought about constantly i would go over and over the conversation to see if anything indicated he liked me. With time i learned a lot of NT guys are straight forward when they like a girl they'll ask to see you again or talk to you often. I'd say talk to him on FB let it develop on there it would be a very natural way for it to progress.
Now my NT question to the aspies:
Recently my boyfriend and i had a fight because I told him i feel like he doesn't show interest in me i told him when i talk about topics that interest me he often doesn't pay attention or respond in any way. He said it's because he can't/doesn't like to talk about things that don't interest him. I told him i don't find many of the things he talk about interesting on their own but since i'm interested in him i by association find what he's talking about interesting and that when he doesn't show the same interest in what i'm saying i feel like he doesn't like me instead of not liking my topic.
As an aspie do you guys find it hard to talk about things you have no interest in even if you find the person interesting? |
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book_noodles
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 14, 2010
Age: 19
Posts: 953
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:49 am Post subject: |
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| GossamerLights wrote: |
As an aspie do you guys find it hard to talk about things you have no interest in even if you find the person interesting? |
I can't speak for anyone but myself, but when someone knows a lot about a subject, and I can tell.. well I find it very fascinating. However, sometimes (like maybe 33% of the time) when my partner talks about Gundam models or cell phones (he does this a lot) I feel nauseated and irritable and would do anything to stop it. It's quite rude of me and I have no idea why this happens.
_________________
"If you look deeply emough into any person's soul, you can see the emu within them struggling to get out. Actually, most people don't have emus in their soul. Just me." - Invisible Dave, Lady of Emus
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katwithhat
Toucan
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Age: 37
Posts: 271
Location: Who knows
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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[quote=
As an aspie do you guys find it hard to talk about things you have no interest in even if you find the person interesting?[/quote]
It is extremely hard for me to concentrate on what the person is saying if I'm not really interested in the topic. My mind turns to mush and I tune them out. I feel bad but I just can't follow what they are saying. Then I get distracted and it usually hurts the other person's feelings. I can't help it though. I wish I could be more interested or at least act more interested. I don't think it would matter how enamored I am with the person.
_________________
I see your lips moving, but all I hear is, oh, look!!! A cat... |
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rebbieh
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 16, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 1142
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 3:04 am Post subject: |
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Got a few questions for NTs:
1. Do you have meltdowns? I for example get meltdowns from a combination of emotional and sensory overload. I bottle everything up until I'm so angry/annoyed/frustrated/sad that I completely explode (not literally). Then I usually start rocking back and forth, sit with my head in my hands while hitting my head. Then I get up, pace, talk to myself, hit things, throw things and swear. I get that NTs get angry, but do you do the same things as I do?
2. Do you have difficulties expressing feelings? Not only verbally but through facial expressions. I often get to hear I don't smile enough and people very often ask me why I'm angry or sad and if I'm ok even though I'm perfectly fine. I think it's difficult to express feelings of joy and thankfulness as well, which is why I don't like celebrating my birthday.
3. Do you have "weird" habits such as for example always wearing black jeans, always sitting at the same spot in the sofa, always eating the same thing for breakfast, always crossing the street at the same place, always putting your clothes on in the same order, listening to the same song over and over and over again (if I look at an album on my iTunes it's not unusual for me to notice I've listened to one song about 200 times while I've listened to the other songs in the album about 5 times each) etc? |
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Budfarmer
Blue Jay
Joined: May 01, 2012
Posts: 78
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 9:37 am Post subject: |
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| GossamerLights wrote: | | As an aspie do you guys find it hard to talk about things you have no interest in even if you find the person interesting? |
I have been married to my husband for 23 years and I still find it difficult to stay focused when he talks about things that are of no interest to me. I find that my eyes won't stay still and I start looking a little crazy if the conversation goes on too long.
It took him years to accept that when I really AM listening, I'm looking at my buttons, or a zipper pull or the corner of my shirt. I can't do serious hard-core listening and eye contact at the same time. If somebody is talking to me really seriously and I'm looking them right in the eye, you can bet your bottom dollar I'm not hearing a thing... I'm contemplating the way their lips move or what if feels like to have a mustache (I'm a female...) or the length of their eyebrows (or G-d forbid they should have a mole or pimple I can focus on... LOL).
And when things really become intense, I close my eyes altogether.
_________________
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
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AS quotient: Scored 42
Your Aspie score: 175 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
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writer_mom
Butterfly
Joined: May 11, 2012
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 12:42 am Post subject: |
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I have a question on how reliable online tests are. I took the aspies-quiz at rdos . net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php and scored 177 of 200. I am just asking because I am not in a position to fork out money for a real diagnosis, but everything on the test and in Green's/Matt's cartoon fit me perfectly.
Can I trust it to some extent? |
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HK416N
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 14, 2011
Posts: 126
Location: Mo i Rana
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 12:43 am Post subject: |
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for NT askin question listening to boring stuff... I am aspie and yes it doesnt work
my head is on or off, cant do grey stuff
so good talks go rlly good, dont wanna stop... and boring talk is either sit der and wait or speak up
he is yer bf so u should not sit and wait but say sumthing
faking is stupid |
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GossamerLights
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 19, 2012
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for everyone that responded to my question although i do have to admit it does make me a bit sad to know i'll just have to let go of the hope that he can just talk to me about things i like. Budfarmer your post actually made me laugh out loud thanks for that, i'm glad your husband eventually got used to you not looking him in the eye i would feel the way you do though i'd much rather know you're listenting to by looking away instead of looking at me and being distracted by facial features.
rebbieh to answer your questiong at least for me:
1: Yes i do hae the occasional meltdown the way you do (more than just getting mad) it does take a lot to get me upset enough that i throw things or can't talk and just rock back and forth crying but it does happen. One thing that does happen easier though is a type of sensory overload for example when i was in high school i could never eat in the cafeteria just being in there long enough to get my food sucked sometimes. All those people in there talking it was like the voices just piled up on eachother and got louder in louder i couldn't stand it.
2:As for expressing feelings facial expressions come naturally if i think about it i can make them what i want but i don't have to they just happen on their own. I have trouble verbally expressing things if i think it'll make the person i'm talking to mad or sad. Probably the only odd thing is that i have a tendancy to make weird little noises all the time much to the amusment of my aspie BF but they don't really have much to do with feelings.
3:I guess for weird habits you could take the noises things, i'm weird to most people but i have very very few repetative habits i tend to actively do something different each time for food, clothes, even routes of travel just because i like the adventure/new experience, i do often get food cravings though where i'll want to eat a specific thing but it usually only lasts about a week and then i won't want to eat it anymore. However i think that's more personal to me than to an NT. For example my mother who is NT does a lot of things repetatively she has a pretty set schedule for her days. |
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McAnulty
Toucan
Joined: May 09, 2012
Posts: 258
Location: Montreal
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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1- I sometimes have meltdowns. Not very often but if I get upset enough I scream and yell and break things and sometimes rock myself or pace around to try to come down. Even NT's use these techniques when we are overwhelmed.
2- I've never had to think about my facial expressions. They just happen and I can intentionally do them if I want as well even if the expression doesn't match what I'm feeling
3- I have a couple of the habits you mention, but I don't think they're considered weird. I often listen to one song several hundred times if I really enjoy it, I prefer crossing the street in the same place but it doesn't upset me if I can't, I prefer to sit on the same sofa in the same spot and will kick my boyfriend out of my place because I don't feel as comfortable in the other seats. Lots of people have habits like this, it's not unusual. |
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