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Keyman
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 8:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think there's a large proportion of "well adapted" kids that bully because "it's fun" or something exciting to do and see what happens.

The only remedy seems to be a school environment that is positive, or that personnel discipline the bullies straight away, and the last resort that the victim or proxy plainly beat the bullies physically.

Until it's resolved suicides and school shootings will continue. And no one should be surprised thereof.
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Sweetleaf
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Keyman wrote:
I think there's a large proportion of "well adapted" kids that bully because "it's fun" or something exciting to do and see what happens.

The only remedy seems to be a school environment that is positive, or that personnel discipline the bullies straight away, and the last resort that the victim or proxy plainly beat the bullies physically.

Until it's resolved suicides and school shootings will continue. And no one should be surprised thereof.



Yeah no kidding, and there were times I wanted to show them something 'exciting' but it's probably good I never did.
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Keyman
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 8:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Being "exciting" before certain age in some countries gives you a free-jail-card literally..

Anyway, I think something better is to help those bullied in school. A kind of life-line if you will. A lot of people here got experience and skills.
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Sweetleaf
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 8:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Keyman wrote:
Being "exciting" before certain age in some countries gives you a free-jail-card literally..

Anyway, I think something better is to help those bullied in school. A kind of life-line if you will. A lot of people here got experience and skills.


Well there where times I wanted to fight back as in litterally beat the crap out of whoever was bullying me and maybe scream in their face 'who's having fun now!' then again maybe I should have Twisted Evil
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cyberdad
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sweetleaf wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Keyman wrote:
I hope someone sets up a bullies hall of shame photo gallery .. Twisted Evil
And give the school bad reputation.


This is an ongoing issue in schools here in Australia. The victims of bullying are pretty much anyone who doesn't quite fit in with the in-crowd.

The stereotype that bullies are only kids from the poor side of town who get beaten up by their drunken father and take out their frustrations on other kids is not representative of reality. My experience in a private college was that most of the bullying is perpetrated by the rich prefect kids (male and female) who ironically are academically bright and socially successful.

Part of the problem is western society encourages competitiveness and "winner" "loser" type cognition is nurtured in school. The underlying reasons for bullying and social ostracism that leads kids to bully to the point the victim commits suicide are far deeper than we like to admit.


Wow its weird there sometimes seems to be that sterotype here, when usually its the ones with the socially popular kids with nice home lives bullying those who have problems at home. I mean I wasn't the one bullying the kids who fit in and had successful parents and all they where the ones bullying me it was like there was a cool club and I was never invited.


Which is why when school's claim to expel bullies they haven't really fixed the underlying culture that gives rise to bullying in the first place. A school needs to have a open policy on bullying and it needs to be spelled out when kids first start school. A zero tolerance.
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Sweetleaf
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 9:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

cyberdad wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Keyman wrote:
I hope someone sets up a bullies hall of shame photo gallery .. Twisted Evil
And give the school bad reputation.


This is an ongoing issue in schools here in Australia. The victims of bullying are pretty much anyone who doesn't quite fit in with the in-crowd.

The stereotype that bullies are only kids from the poor side of town who get beaten up by their drunken father and take out their frustrations on other kids is not representative of reality. My experience in a private college was that most of the bullying is perpetrated by the rich prefect kids (male and female) who ironically are academically bright and socially successful.

Part of the problem is western society encourages competitiveness and "winner" "loser" type cognition is nurtured in school. The underlying reasons for bullying and social ostracism that leads kids to bully to the point the victim commits suicide are far deeper than we like to admit.


Wow its weird there sometimes seems to be that sterotype here, when usually its the ones with the socially popular kids with nice home lives bullying those who have problems at home. I mean I wasn't the one bullying the kids who fit in and had successful parents and all they where the ones bullying me it was like there was a cool club and I was never invited.


Which is why when school's claim to expel bullies they haven't really fixed the underlying culture that gives rise to bullying in the first place. A school needs to have a open policy on bullying and it needs to be spelled out when kids first start school. A zero tolerance.


most 'zero tolerance' policies I've run into are in the nature of...if you retaliate to bullying you will be persecuted.
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cyberdad
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 7:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sweetleaf wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Keyman wrote:
I hope someone sets up a bullies hall of shame photo gallery .. Twisted Evil
And give the school bad reputation.


This is an ongoing issue in schools here in Australia. The victims of bullying are pretty much anyone who doesn't quite fit in with the in-crowd.

The stereotype that bullies are only kids from the poor side of town who get beaten up by their drunken father and take out their frustrations on other kids is not representative of reality. My experience in a private college was that most of the bullying is perpetrated by the rich prefect kids (male and female) who ironically are academically bright and socially successful.

Part of the problem is western society encourages competitiveness and "winner" "loser" type cognition is nurtured in school. The underlying reasons for bullying and social ostracism that leads kids to bully to the point the victim commits suicide are far deeper than we like to admit.


Wow its weird there sometimes seems to be that sterotype here, when usually its the ones with the socially popular kids with nice home lives bullying those who have problems at home. I mean I wasn't the one bullying the kids who fit in and had successful parents and all they where the ones bullying me it was like there was a cool club and I was never invited.


Which is why when school's claim to expel bullies they haven't really fixed the underlying culture that gives rise to bullying in the first place. A school needs to have a open policy on bullying and it needs to be spelled out when kids first start school. A zero tolerance.


most 'zero tolerance' policies I've run into are in the nature of...if you retaliate to bullying you will be persecuted.

At least then you are dealing with the bullies only. Currently the private schools there is a culture that is systemic in the schools themselves. This makes it doubly hard for the victims.
Where persecution is being laid out and the school eventually wrings it;s hands you need to get legal/third parties involved and/or leave the school and launch a campaign against the school till the culprits are punished. Otherwise they get away with it.
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Asp-Z
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was most likely depression that killed him, not bullying. The bullies themselves seemed to use both as an excuse to target him though. Horrible f**king people.

Think we can find out personal details of these bullies? They could do with getting bullied a bit themselves.
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PastFixations
One who will open the door.
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Joined: Sep 22, 2011
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 8:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asp-Z wrote:
It was most likely depression that killed him, not bullying. The bullies themselves seemed to use both as an excuse to target him though. Horrible f**king people.

Think we can find out personal details of these bullies? They could do with getting bullied a bit themselves.

Not really any point in that, besides he will always be in their thoughts and they can't stop him. No-one can.
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Sweetleaf
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

cyberdad wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Keyman wrote:
I hope someone sets up a bullies hall of shame photo gallery .. Twisted Evil
And give the school bad reputation.


This is an ongoing issue in schools here in Australia. The victims of bullying are pretty much anyone who doesn't quite fit in with the in-crowd.

The stereotype that bullies are only kids from the poor side of town who get beaten up by their drunken father and take out their frustrations on other kids is not representative of reality. My experience in a private college was that most of the bullying is perpetrated by the rich prefect kids (male and female) who ironically are academically bright and socially successful.

Part of the problem is western society encourages competitiveness and "winner" "loser" type cognition is nurtured in school. The underlying reasons for bullying and social ostracism that leads kids to bully to the point the victim commits suicide are far deeper than we like to admit.


Wow its weird there sometimes seems to be that sterotype here, when usually its the ones with the socially popular kids with nice home lives bullying those who have problems at home. I mean I wasn't the one bullying the kids who fit in and had successful parents and all they where the ones bullying me it was like there was a cool club and I was never invited.


Which is why when school's claim to expel bullies they haven't really fixed the underlying culture that gives rise to bullying in the first place. A school needs to have a open policy on bullying and it needs to be spelled out when kids first start school. A zero tolerance.


most 'zero tolerance' policies I've run into are in the nature of...if you retaliate to bullying you will be persecuted.

At least then you are dealing with the bullies only. Currently the private schools there is a culture that is systemic in the schools themselves. This makes it doubly hard for the victims.
Where persecution is being laid out and the school eventually wrings it;s hands you need to get legal/third parties involved and/or leave the school and launch a campaign against the school till the culprits are punished. Otherwise they get away with it.


I had teachers in on the bullying to sometimes....but yeah I just kinda tried to stay out of everyones way and try not to break rules so the teachers couldn't use rule breaking as an excuse to single me out. I never did bother with third parties, hell half the time I did not even talk to my parents about it....but such is life, at least now I don't have to go to school anymore.
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Sweetleaf
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asp-Z wrote:
It was most likely depression that killed him, not bullying. The bullies themselves seemed to use both as an excuse to target him though. Horrible f**king people.

Think we can find out personal details of these bullies? They could do with getting bullied a bit themselves.


Well I'd say it was both...that led to the suicide, not just one or the other.
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Asp-Z
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 10:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well I'd say it was both...that led to the suicide, not just one or the other.


Sort of. Asperger's itself cannot lead to suicide, but it can lead to depression and that's what can cause suicide. But of course you could argue that he wouldn't have depression if it wasn't for the Asperger's.
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Sweetleaf
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 10:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asp-Z wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Well I'd say it was both...that led to the suicide, not just one or the other.


Sort of. Asperger's itself cannot lead to suicide, but it can lead to depression and that's what can cause suicide. But of course you could argue that he wouldn't have depression if it wasn't for the Asperger's.


I meant the depression and bullying where both factors......though Aspergers could be included to, since it can cause differences in how we communicate and its not uncommon to be bullied for being different. It happened to me before I even had any understanding I was different from the other kids.....I mean they certainly noticed long before I did. Also obviously being treated like crap for being different can in turn add to depression and low self esteem.
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Asp-Z
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 10:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sweetleaf wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Well I'd say it was both...that led to the suicide, not just one or the other.


Sort of. Asperger's itself cannot lead to suicide, but it can lead to depression and that's what can cause suicide. But of course you could argue that he wouldn't have depression if it wasn't for the Asperger's.


I meant the depression and bullying where both factors......though Aspergers could be included to, since it can cause differences in how we communicate and its not uncommon to be bullied for being different. It happened to me before I even had any understanding I was different from the other kids.....I mean they certainly noticed long before I did. Also obviously being treated like crap for being different can in turn add to depression and low self esteem.


Yeah, like I said I'm sure the bullies used both as excuses to bully him, but at the end of the day the suicide wasn't down to Asperger's.
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Sweetleaf
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 11:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asp-Z wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Well I'd say it was both...that led to the suicide, not just one or the other.


Sort of. Asperger's itself cannot lead to suicide, but it can lead to depression and that's what can cause suicide. But of course you could argue that he wouldn't have depression if it wasn't for the Asperger's.


I meant the depression and bullying where both factors......though Aspergers could be included to, since it can cause differences in how we communicate and its not uncommon to be bullied for being different. It happened to me before I even had any understanding I was different from the other kids.....I mean they certainly noticed long before I did. Also obviously being treated like crap for being different can in turn add to depression and low self esteem.


Yeah, like I said I'm sure the bullies used both as excuses to bully him, but at the end of the day the suicide wasn't down to Asperger's.


I never once said it was...
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