melissajean
Butterfly
Joined: Jan 20, 2012
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:03 pm Post subject: do aspies have very little patience? |
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| I am finding that as I get older I am becoming LESS tolerant of other people. I can't stand it when other people smoke, whistle or stand too close to me. Is it just me or do other aspies react the same way? |
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ValentineWiggin
Yup.
Joined: May 16, 2011
Posts: 4879
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:12 pm Post subject: |
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"The older I get, the stupider people get." < My mother
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Cerberus_01
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 75
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:27 pm Post subject: |
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I'm starting to get to be the same way, more I deal with people the more I realize how dumb a majority (majority not all of them, still some smart cookies out there) are and get super annoyed when it effects me.
^^^
I know where that username is from, good choice 
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fleurdelily
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 04, 2011
Age: 46
Posts: 362
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:27 pm Post subject: |
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definitly not just you. I could have written that post, verbatim, with a few snarky remarks in addition 
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Rhiannon0828
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 21, 2011
Age: 44
Posts: 434
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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I would say yes overall, but it kind of depends on the situation for me. I do not suffer fools gladly, and often, not at all, but if someone comes to me looking for assistance, especially in regards to my profession (design), I have had many people remark on how patient I am. I think when people make an effort to understand and learn, it makes a huge difference.
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MakaylaTheAspie
Zodai's girl
Joined: Jun 22, 2011
Age: 16
Posts: 12753
Location: Aus den USA
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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I'm a very tolerant and level-headed person unless I'm driving. When I'm driving, people need to shut up and resolve their issues later.
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Uncertainty
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 57
Location: United States, Somewhere in NY
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:45 pm Post subject: |
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I find that im very impatient. And yeah i think youre right other then what aspergians are obsessed with i dont think we have patience for a whole lot. Although i find mine has grown quite a bit from what it used to be.
Hmmm overall yeah impatience feels like a common trait probably due to the common association with anxiety/social anxiety more then anything else. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8233
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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I find I don't have much patience, for a person of my age. Usually people get a little irritable or impatient when they perhaps get past mid-50s, but I sometimes feel like a grouchy old woman now, whereas most other people of my age seem laid-back and can go out and enjoy themselves and things what bother me doesn't bother them so much.
I get really snappy when people stand right near me in shops (people I don't know, I mean). Sometimes I wonder if people do it delibrately, because when I'm standing in a position where people can't get in my way or I can't get in their way, like standing about two of three feet away from the shelves when I'm looking, nobody comes near me or want to get anything on any shelves that are anywhere near me at all, and I've got a massive space all to myself. But when I'm standing closer to the shelves (maybe because I need to look more closely at what I need to get), there is always someone standing right up close to me, wanting to get to exactly where I'm standing and invading my personal space and making me lose concentration at what I'm looking at because they're right in my way, and I think to myself, ''if I was standing back a bit or further along, I bet you wouldn't even need to get anything off any of these shelves near me!'' So I get all irritable and snappy, and I walk away and wait 'til they have gone. I don't care if my body language makes them feel uncomfortable - I like people to know when I'm irritable sometimes (although people usually don't take any notice, especially women, because they get so absorbed into the items in shops that they forget about anything else, especially in clothes shops etc).
Anyway, enough of me ranting on about shopping - again. But yes, I find I get very impatient. I get all agitated when people come and sit next to me on the bus. I don't say thank you to the bus-driver if I don't like him or her or if they're not any of the familiar ones. I have a hatred of small children under 5, especially when they start screaming and shouting over nothing. I hate it when there are other people waiting at my bus stop for some reason (unless it's a man, because I don't feel so awkward with men standing there with me, for some reason other women make me feel awkward). I have to avoid seeing family at week-ends because all the family tend to gather in one room of someone's house and stay for the duration and I get a bit overwhelmed when there are too many people in one room. I get snappy and angry when people start yawning, coughing, sneezing, hiccuping and clearing their throat (even though they can't help it). I can't even be arsed with looking for jobs any more because I've been on job-seekers for so long that looking for work is becoming rather fruitless and also very tedious.
I often just find myself saying ''I just can't be bothered with it all'', and just want a simple, easy, quiet life.
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MiatheMutant
Raven
Joined: Apr 17, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 109
Location: Hogwarts, or Vegas maybe
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Rhiannon0828 wrote: | | I would say yes overall, but it kind of depends on the situation for me. I do not suffer fools gladly, and often, not at all, but if someone comes to me looking for assistance, especially in regards to my profession (design), I have had many people remark on how patient I am. I think when people make an effort to understand and learn, it makes a huge difference. |
I agree completely. It gets even worse when you're forced to work with them, though, because they just never feel like doing the work and someone has to do it. I don't mind others much as long as they keep their drama away from me, keep the volume on their iPods down, talk with inside voices, and at least attempt to make sense of whatever is going on around them before they seek me out for help. 
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Rhiannon0828
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 21, 2011
Age: 44
Posts: 434
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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| MiatheMutant wrote: | | Rhiannon0828 wrote: | | I would say yes overall, but it kind of depends on the situation for me. I do not suffer fools gladly, and often, not at all, but if someone comes to me looking for assistance, especially in regards to my profession (design), I have had many people remark on how patient I am. I think when people make an effort to understand and learn, it makes a huge difference. |
I agree completely. It gets even worse when you're forced to work with them, though, because they just never feel like doing the work and someone has to do it. I don't mind others much as long as they keep their drama away from me, keep the volume on their iPods down, talk with inside voices, and at least attempt to make sense of whatever is going on around them before they seek me out for help. |
I'm pretty good at cutting the apron strings with co-workers; we get to that point where they really should know what they are doing and then I am much less patient. But with clients it's different; especially the ones who admit to their ignorance. After all, that's why they're coming to me! 
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"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons; for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." |
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ECJ
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 25, 2011
Posts: 338
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm very impatient. |
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veiledexpressions
Toucan
Joined: Oct 24, 2009
Age: 30
Posts: 293
Location: Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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| I have always had very little patience with people. Strangely, I can wait for my turn or for a package without an issue, but I do not have patience in discussions, and when waiting for people to understand something I'm explaining. |
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Kinme
Dinosaurlicious
Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Posts: 3223
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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| I've always been very impatient. |
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MiatheMutant
Raven
Joined: Apr 17, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 109
Location: Hogwarts, or Vegas maybe
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| veiledexpressions wrote: | | I have always had very little patience with people. Strangely, I can wait for my turn or for a package without an issue, but I do not have patience in discussions, and when waiting for people to understand something I'm explaining. |
Yeah, that's mostly my problem too. I get along fairly well with most people unless they either keep interrupting me or I have to spend all eternity explaining one particular thing to them. I used to make the big bucks tutoring in high school because I would charge them by the half hour to listen to me ramble on about science while they would just stare at me and keep their mouths shut. Best. Job. Ever.
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I know that, when I finally get my dream job, my patients won't laugh at me or call me a mutant.
AQ: 159/200 NT 50/200
EQ: 14 SQ: 85 AQ: 43 Other Test: 71/72
Undiagnosed: marginal costs > marginal benefits |
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conan
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 14, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 783
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| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:54 pm Post subject: |
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it's entirely dependent upon my mood. in recognising that i think that i recognise my own bias in judging others. i guess that does not really relate to specific behaviour but i do get less bothered by things i do not like when i'm in a good mood.
i'm finding myself more tolerant as i get older (so far!) but also more able to see and overcome other peoples bullshit
i am impatient yes, i try to hide it though as i know it is just me feeling self important/uncomfortable. i generally am very quick at most tasks also so i do find it a bit bewildering when people take forever with some things |
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