Joined: Jan 11, 2011 Age: 23 Posts: 105 Location: Eugene,Oregon
Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 3:39 am Post subject: Video: Autistic toddler throws tantrum in parking lot
I found this video quite disturbing I don't know what to think right now. It shows a mother trying to control her son (who's 3) who makes a big scene over wanting to go back inside after the family had just left the restaurant (according to the mother, her daughter was filming this)
In one part you'll see the boy lose his pacifier. when the boy cries for it, the mother says "No 'paci' for Jayden." then says she would give it back if he would get in in the car. Assuming he gets upset over this, i take it that the pacifier is a comfort item for Jayden and having that taken away from him made his mood worse.
idk what do u think? _________________ "A freak of Nature stuck in reality...I don't fit the picture I'm not what you want me to be...sorry"-Line from "Strange" by Tokio Hotel ft. Kerli
In my opinion, he shouldn't still be using a pacifier. My brothers will be three this year and they stopped using one by about a year and a half. I think it's more of a convenience thing because he's comforted by it-since he's attached to it. I personally think they shouldn't be filming this to begin with, and I also think that the mother should pick the boy up and put him into the car and reason with him or have him take deep breaths. Is she TRYING to make a spectacle out of him? This disgusts me for some reason.
Joined: Nov 19, 2008 Age: 27 Posts: 7449 Location: Sydney, Australia
Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 4:08 am Post subject:
I was attached to my dummy (pacifer) when I was older than him. When he's ready to give it up he will. People with autism are a little behind their peers. It's good for a stim toy but I agree, it should eventually be changed to something else.
I think the mother needed to help him transition with the change first. I'm 26 and people still tell me what's about to happen. I don't always require it but I still have problems with change. As a kid I acted just like this, except I was louder, put on more of a spectacle, let out the waterworks.
I never agreed that threats of time out did anything to stop this behaviour, so why do so many parents do it? I remember that just made me more upset and I kept on going.
I think people make these videos because they want people to see what it's like for them to live with it or to raise awareness. One mother actually took a video because she was denied services from the government. _________________ My autism blog - http://latedx.wordpress.com
My completely random though usually about Doctor Who blog - http://alonsy.tumblr.com/
Joined: Feb 05, 2010 Posts: 13491 Location: My house
Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 4:31 am Post subject:
I think I would have been tougher than the mother. I see she did try putting him in the car but I would have held his arms and legs as I put him in it. I do the same with my son when he gets difficult, I hold his arms and legs and hold him down. My husband thinks I am so mean and rough with him When I get mad or frustrated, I get tough.
Plus the boy looked bigger than three, older. I see he did listen when he lost his pacifier so the mother was able to put him in the car and he got it back.
Joined: Feb 24, 2010 Posts: 8237 Location: Great Britain
Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 5:43 am Post subject:
Then people wonder why I don't want a child with Autism. Some stay at the terrible two's forever. _________________ Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23
I don't know about the video being disturbing but the comments sure were. A lot of people were pretty much saying "take away his pacifier and beat the crap out of him".
Joined: Feb 17, 2012 Posts: 869 Location: Thornaby, UK
Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 6:03 am Post subject:
Don't mean to be insulting here. Just it reminded me of all the airport Tv shows I seen when people miss they flights & all that.
You might need to turn the volume down.
_________________ INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
“When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.”
I'm not a parent, but I think the mother handled it very well. She was so calm and patient with him, while still not giving in to him. She refused to let the people standing around watching get to her. Most importantly, she acknowledged his desires, even as she refused to give in. My parents were terrible about this, which makes me really appreciate it. That alone makes such a difference. Good on her!
It reminds me of many occasions we've had with our daughter. The mother stayed very calm and I think she handled it well, even managed to smile and not raise her voice. He looks like a very heavy boy. If he's anything like my girl, he's much bigger and stronger than his peers and strapping him in would be near impossible, in the middle of a tantrum. So, I fully understand why she appeared to give up trying, until he had calmed down. As for the dummy (pacifier), my daughter never had one, but she sucked her thumb a lot until she was about 5 and still does if she's very upset, but not very often (she's 6). Yes, it was a comfort to the boy and keeping it from him might seem cruel, but as far as I can see, it did the trick. He went into his seat after that. I bet he fell asleep on the way home. He seemed just like how my daughter would be if she was very tired, possibly over-stimulated. _________________ "We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiatic about." Charles Kingsley
Joined: Feb 17, 2012 Posts: 869 Location: Thornaby, UK
Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 6:50 am Post subject:
Ok watch this one & watch it all the way to the end. Also watch the difference between female & male & the ending part.
_________________ INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
“When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.”
Joined: Jan 07, 2011 Age: 23 Posts: 14827 Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 8:36 am Post subject:
I am pretty sure I would have thrown a worse fit if I had some one filming me and giggling to. _________________ It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream.
Joined: Feb 24, 2010 Posts: 8237 Location: Great Britain
Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 8:50 am Post subject:
I wish they'd start banning noisy brats from restaurants in the UK. Who can eat a good meal what you paid for when there's a baby sitting near you screaming it's head off at nothing? It's so unbearable. They should section off a bit where kids under 5 can eat, so that older kids and adults can eat their meal in peace. Apart from McDonald's - I don't mind screaming kids in McDonald's or other fast food restaurants like that because....I don't know why, I just don't find it so selfish to bring them in there. Probably because the food is cheap.
I know I was a kid once but my mum and dad say I never had screaming temper tantrums in restaurants when I was a toddler, and if I did I either got a smack (which always taught me a lesson to not scream out in public), or they left the restaurant. Anyway I didn't get took out to many restaurants until I was at past the ''terrible two's'' stage. _________________ Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23
One thing I didn't like that she did was tell her kid that everyone was looking.
My mother used to say that when I was a kid. Maybe it contributed to my social anxiety. Maybe not because I remember times when she said that and looking around and not seeing anyone looking.
Also when a kid is like that they are probably past the point of even caring who is looking. It's not going to shame them into just stopping.
Joined: Jan 07, 2011 Age: 23 Posts: 14827 Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 9:03 am Post subject:
My question is why would a parent put this on youtube?....I am really tempted to post a comment to the video and ask that. I mean I can understand maybe I might disagree with how she handled the situation in general but I can believe she's learning....and no ones perfect. But why put it on youtube for all to see? Somehow I am doubting the child consented to have a video of him having a meltdown or fit to be put onto the internet for everyone to see. _________________ It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream.
I remember once seeing a video on a funniest video show where a parent videotaped their sick child sitting on a potty chair and moaning and complaining about being in pain. I was pretty disgusted by that. I started boycotting that stupid show after seeing a video on it that a parent made of their child's pet being snatched away to their death by a large bird. No one cared and they put it on the show because it was just a mouse.
If she is so worried about everyone looking maybe she shouldn't be putting it on Youtube. Everyone really is looking now.
When I get mad or frustrated, I get tough.
