RLgnome
Raven
Joined: Jul 26, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 117
|
 Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:20 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
| Keyman wrote: | Maybe I should specify that to organized religion. There might be more than the rational world, but to know for sure either way or how is the hard one.  |
True, one hell of a gamble (no pun intended) no matter which belief system (or lack of thereof) one chooses. Or quasi-qualified guess, at best. But the quasi-qualified guesses may very well be within the limits of rationality, including some organized religion (or some parts of some organized religious bodies... etc etc). Generalizations are, in general, wrong. And by saying that, I just generalized generalizations, the implications of which are giving me a headache.
| Joe90 wrote: | | invading my personal space |
That's why I have problems getting my hair cut. When I was a child, I had a hypersensitive scalp. Now, I'm hypersensitive to female bodies. I'm extremely tense from the minute I get into the chair until I leave. If they bump into me, I startle, and I don't always manage to suppress it. Annoying, and a bit embarrassing if they notice. A hairdresser once did (I think), and exploited the situation. I walked out with wrecked nerves, an overly fancy haircut, expensive grooming products and $200 less on my credit card. At least people liked the haircut. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Gazelle
Crossword Aficionado
Joined: Mar 09, 2012
Posts: 1645
Location: Tropical island
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
When an NT makes me feel like I am intolerable because I am quiet. As a child and adult I have moved around and lived overseas and I have learned to have an open mind and make friends with different kinds of people. As a kid I was quiet and shy and would usually make one or two good friends in school. I make an effort to be open minded and I do appreciate when people I meet and interact with do the same.
_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure." |
|
| Back to top |
|
biribiri20
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 23, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 131
Location: New York
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| CockneyRebel wrote: | | Telling people on the spectrum to toughen up. |
Words cannot express how much I agree with this. Being bullied every day despite trying your best to stand up to them and then your family constantly telling you it was partly your fault for being so weak even though you kept trying your hardest to "toughen up" was one of my worst experiences growing up.
_________________
I like making friends! Even if I'm not the best at it ^^;
Diagnosis: ADHD-PI, suspected AS
Your Aspie Score: 142 of 200, Your NT Score: 74 of 200, You are very likely an Aspie
AQ: 38/EQ: 16/SQ: 52
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Charges
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 15, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 170
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 12:23 am Post subject: |
|
|
| What REALLY gets me is the social norm of not speaking up when something is unjust. Often, something unfair will have an obvious and easy solution, but NTs still claim that "life ain't fair" and would rather dance around the issue/be shallow than do anything about it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 7:58 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Charges wrote: | | What REALLY gets me is the social norm of not speaking up when something is unjust. Often, something unfair will have an obvious and easy solution, but NTs still claim that "life ain't fair" and would rather dance around the issue/be shallow than do anything about it. |
I sometimes have trouble working up the nerve, although there have been notable exceptions. There are repercussions sometimes, and I relate to why people have difficulty working up the nerve.
What I don't get is something that happens when somebody else does manage to work up the nerve. Me, its an immediate instinct to give support. It's like seeing a crack in a dam, and I'm the water. Chaaaarrge! But then, nobody else follows, even when I know they want to. Do they not get it, this is an opportunity, why aren't they taking it? |
|
| Back to top |
|
ValentineWiggin
Yup.
Joined: May 16, 2011
Posts: 4879
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:18 am Post subject: |
|
|
The notion that sensory sensitivities are someone's "imagination".
_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest." |
|
| Back to top |
|
Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8258
Location: Great Britain
|
| Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 8:42 am Post subject: |
|
|
It's not just NTs, it could be anyone here, but I get annoyed with always having to explain things in every detail for someone to get what I'm saying without them having to correct me. They say just Aspies do this, but it's another thing they got wrong because I find practically everyone is like it.
Like I've always got to say ''if'' before I say some sort of suggesion or an idea. Like for example, say if we had planned to have a picnic at midday on Wednesday, and rain was forecasted for Wednesday at 4 o'clock (and I knew it was), and I said, ''I will bring my flask to the picnic'', someone always says, ''it might rain before 4 o'clock so we might not be going'', so I've always got to say, ''if it doesn't rain 'til later and we do have our picnic, I will bring my flask to the picnic.'' Why can't people just assume that that's what I mean, if they know that I know it might rain, rather than keep correcting me all the time?
Also like the coffee shop thing (I've already said this somewhere else, but it's a good example to use).
NT: So what are you going to do with your friend tomorrow?
Me: Probably go to the coffee shop
NT: But you don't like coffee
That is an anology of many other situations. It's always the same. So I've got to explain it in every little detail:-
NT: So what are you going to do with your friend tomorrow?
Me: Probably go to the coffee shop, I don't like coffee so I will order another drink like a juice or something
NT: Right
So annoying! Usually even I try to work out what they really mean. Like when my dad was going to the Isle of Scilly, but he kept getting muddled up and calling it the Isle of Wight, but because I already knew he meant the Isle of Scilly, I didn't bother to keep correcting him. I knew what he meant. Sometimes I joked and said, ''it's the Isle of Scilly - get it right'', but when he was talking about it seriously, I just kept quiet. But someone else would keep on saying, ''the Isle of Wight? You're not going there'', even if they already know what he means.
That is just one example.
_________________
Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23 |
|
| Back to top |
|
vampresstcullen
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 24, 2010
Posts: 59
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:06 am Post subject: Re: Annoying habits of neurotypical people |
|
|
| American wrote: | (disclaimer: this post speaks of many or most NTs, not all of them)
Let's turn the tables. Well, not literally, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I am annoyed by NTs' lack of honesty and directness. For example, I received wto rejection letters, one for a job and another for law school. Both substitute the word unable for unwilling.. NTs' tend not to appreciate a good logical argument. NTs', especially young ones, tend to care about trivial and absurd things such as Jersey Shore, sports, sex, alcohol, and the sort. NTs' control the social rules and punish people who don't conform to the silly irrational rituals and norms they think are good. I could probably go on forever. Anyone else? |
First of all, making a list of habits of most neurotypical people, as if being neurotypical is one personality is silly and dumb. You don't even KNOW most NTs and everything on your f--cking list autistics are perfectly capable of doing and some even DO. Lying, not being direct? Autistics do that too. Quit acting like having autism=moral superiority, or the ultimate personality. Autistics may also participate in pushing stupid rules and habits as well and *do* (i.e., in autism chats). Autistics are just as capable of having bad personality traits as anyone else. There are plenty examples of this to be found. This elitist attitude is annoying. It also doesn't matter if you emphasize you mean most and not all. (I wonder about people on chats who tell an NT listener that they're an exception... if there were 1,000s that heard them, would they tell them all 'no, you're an exception'?) Does it make it any less racist to say most whites or blacks or asians do this or that? You're doing the same thing homophobics and racists do, and it's just as unfair. Racism stings, and so does this. Or is it okay, because it's a big chunk of people? (Because somehow it's acceptable to be prejudiced if you're a minority). You're prejudiced. I'm tired of some people on wrongplanet being prejudiced neurotypists and thinking it's alright or that they're so much better than a racist. Making up a list of what most NTs do is even more ridiculous than doing it for a race. That's why some people leave this place.
In the end, you will do as you please, but at least don't talk to any NTs. I feel that people who discriminate against a group of people don't deserve their company. That's the least you can do.
At any rate, here are some lyrics some elitists should read, replace racial references with neurotype.
"It seems like looks are what we're dwelling-in,
As if someone's life can be determined by their melanin (or neurotype ), "
Ethnicity and skin tone are irrelevant,
When trying to put a thought behind someone's intelligence,"
"But still there's some with the intellect of a terrapin,
Who think that someone's skin color indicates they're a felon-and,
Need to be locked up, 'cause they're addicted to heroin,
Or if they so much as seem arabic they're-a-Bin,
Laden Junior, who needs a grave to peril-in,"
"You're walking with minds narrow as corridors,
Just keep in thought whether you're bad minding foreigners,
Or just a rich person down sizing commoners,
You're thinking with the same mind set as Hitlers followers!"
"Cause with so much in sight,
It amazes me the type,
Of a person to see life,
In black and white."
"I mean, Why bother to use-your-brain ?
It's like trying to ride a bike, when you could just use the train !
No worries, you can just skip right through the main,
work of figuring out who's different and who's the same,
Just put everyone in the same book who looks similar,
Then fill that book with what you see in the cinema,
T.V, and radio, no need to envisage-a,
World past that"
In a way, looks similar is true because you don't even KNOW the neurotype of strangers, as long as they don't look obviously autistic, neurotypical, CHECK MARK.
"But that aint to say this mindset in the past-hasn't,
Caused atrocities, murders, sh** that you can't-fathom,
In your worst nightmares-or-your-dreams," ("racist" autistics haven't been doing that in many numbers yet, thank goodness)
"The smallest thought can form-lethal
Consequences, hundreds of scorned-people,
We need to make this racial storm-peaceful,
And understand each one of us is born-equal........."
I really like that song, these are just some lyrics, but it's a beautiful song.
Some 'racist' autistics have changed and I know some people on this forum can change too... either way, being bitter towards them also hurts the person doing it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
vampresstcullen
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 24, 2010
Posts: 59
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:14 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Joe90 wrote: | It's not just NTs, it could be anyone here, but I get annoyed with always having to explain things in every detail for someone to get what I'm saying without them having to correct me. They say just Aspies do this, but it's another thing they got wrong because I find practically everyone is like it.
Like I've always got to say ''if'' before I say some sort of suggesion or an idea. Like for example, say if we had planned to have a picnic at midday on Wednesday, and rain was forecasted for Wednesday at 4 o'clock (and I knew it was), and I said, ''I will bring my flask to the picnic'', someone always says, ''it might rain before 4 o'clock so we might not be going'', so I've always got to say, ''if it doesn't rain 'til later and we do have our picnic, I will bring my flask to the picnic.'' Why can't people just assume that that's what I mean, if they know that I know it might rain, rather than keep correcting me all the time?
Also like the coffee shop thing (I've already said this somewhere else, but it's a good example to use).
NT: So what are you going to do with your friend tomorrow?
Me: Probably go to the coffee shop
NT: But you don't like coffee
That is an anology of many other situations. It's always the same. So I've got to explain it in every little detail:-
NT: So what are you going to do with your friend tomorrow?
Me: Probably go to the coffee shop, I don't like coffee so I will order another drink like a juice or something
NT: Right
So annoying! Usually even I try to work out what they really mean. Like when my dad was going to the Isle of Scilly, but he kept getting muddled up and calling it the Isle of Wight, but because I already knew he meant the Isle of Scilly, I didn't bother to keep correcting him. I knew what he meant. Sometimes I joked and said, ''it's the Isle of Scilly - get it right'', but when he was talking about it seriously, I just kept quiet. But someone else would keep on saying, ''the Isle of Wight? You're not going there'', even if they already know what he means.
That is just one example. |
Are you sure the person was NT? And yeah someone may remind you that it may rain tomorrow because they don't know if you remeber/know or think you need reminding. They can't always read your mind :p Actually some things you said i saw one person complain of it, except reversed. They did what the "NT" did here and scolded NTs for thinking like you. *shrug*. Might sounds like it means you might bring your water bottle to it, period. You could say that if you knew for sure you were going. It may also sound like you were optimistic about the picnic. Someone may also be curious about your going to the coffee shop if you don't like it, or just remark about it having in mind that you may be going to get juice and not coffee. |
|
| Back to top |
|
vampresstcullen
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 24, 2010
Posts: 59
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:17 am Post subject: |
|
|
| edgewaters wrote: | | Charges wrote: | | What REALLY gets me is the social norm of not speaking up when something is unjust. Often, something unfair will have an obvious and easy solution, but NTs still claim that "life ain't fair" and would rather dance around the issue/be shallow than do anything about it. |
I sometimes have trouble working up the nerve, although there have been notable exceptions. There are repercussions sometimes, and I relate to why people have difficulty working up the nerve.
What I don't get is something that happens when somebody else does manage to work up the nerve. Me, its an immediate instinct to give support. It's like seeing a crack in a dam, and I'm the water. Chaaaarrge! But then, nobody else follows, even when I know they want to. Do they not get it, this is an opportunity, why aren't they taking it? |
Nah, I wouldn't call this a social norm. PEOPLE may choose to or not to, and plenty of NTs dislike others for not standing up. And you may get the "life isn't fair" from an autistic, autistics use that quote too. It's not an "NT" thing, none of this stuff is. NT is just NT, being born NT doesn't come with a set of personality traits, you're just a blank slate human. I dream of the day when WP is free of prejudice and people just mature or stop being that way. |
|
| Back to top |
|
vampresstcullen
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 24, 2010
Posts: 59
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:18 am Post subject: |
|
|
| biribiri20 wrote: | | CockneyRebel wrote: | | Telling people on the spectrum to toughen up. |
Words cannot express how much I agree with this. Being bullied every day despite trying your best to stand up to them and then your family constantly telling you it was partly your fault for being so weak even though you kept trying your hardest to "toughen up" was one of my worst experiences growing up. |
Oh, that's horrible. You can't just up and stop being "weak". |
|
| Back to top |
|
vampresstcullen
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 24, 2010
Posts: 59
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:20 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Gazelle wrote: | | When an NT makes me feel like I am intolerable because I am quiet. As a child and adult I have moved around and lived overseas and I have learned to have an open mind and make friends with different kinds of people. As a kid I was quiet and shy and would usually make one or two good friends in school. I make an effort to be open minded and I do appreciate when people I meet and interact with do the same. |
You like it when an autistic does it? Or, omg, everyone who does that must be NT right? /sarcasm. Plenty of other quiet people who aren't NTs, and being quiet isn't the "autistic" way either. |
|
| Back to top |
|
vampresstcullen
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 24, 2010
Posts: 59
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:25 am Post subject: |
|
|
| edgewaters wrote: | | Joe90 wrote: | | Just how do NTs get away with lacking empathy and Autistics don't??????? That's what I can't understand. |
I think because non-NT people have harder time expressing empathy, in an emotional way. NTs can get all gushy and put on a big production about it. They can't understand that maybe some people value different ways of expressing it, like doing something concrete for someone without making a big show about it. |
Same for autistics that get all gushy. I know autistics that know that some autistics can be very emotional (and outward about it), not show emotions, etc. Autistics may also judge you for not "being" upset/responding their way,etc. Happened to me, by some. And NTs don't get away. If someone judges someone for it, they will judge NTs and autistics. |
|
| Back to top |
|
hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21969
Location: with bucephalus
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:36 am Post subject: |
|
|
can we dial down the jibes at NTs please? many members of the site are NT, and we don't want to provoke and belittle them with generalisations that might not be fair. even when people say that "most" NTs do _something_, it is casting a broad brush over a hugely varied group.
_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5043493.html#5043493 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
