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Jp896
Hummingbird
Joined: Feb 06, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 21
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 Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:54 am Post subject: Can no longer function. |
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Sorry for making this thread. I'm sure there are similar threads, but I didn't want to hijack another thread. I have a severe speech impediment and because of that I have social anxiety so bad that my it's impairing my life. I have absolutely no desire to talk to people. I've dropped out of two physics classes because they were group based. Some people really wanted to be my friend, but I was just to afraid of talking. Whenever I work in a group I kind of just scoot away and work all by myself. Whenever someone tries to talk to me I talk just enough so im not rude, I know I must seem extremely uncomfortable. The only job I had I got because my dad was the manager and even then I was too afraid to talk to anyone even though there were some people I really wanted to talk to. Now im afraid people will think im retarded when they hear me talk and treat me accordingly. In short, I'm too messed to function at all in society.
My insurance doesn't pay for mental health I feel like I'm at the point where the only way I can get help is to commit myself to an emergency institution. I just don't know what to expect if i go to an emergency institution. Will they just try to talk me out of commiting suicide and let me go, or will they actually help me get better in general and give me a way to get long term therapy? I would really appreciate any thoughts or advice. |
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Ann2011
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2011
Posts: 1533
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:28 am Post subject: |
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Sounds like you are having a really hard time. My advice would be to seek counselling, but if you don't have coverage that doesn't help. I'm not really sure what would happen in an emergency room situation, but I will say that I don't think you should try to kill yourself to find out. There are other ways. The main thing is that it sounds like you are being very hard on yourself. There's nothing wrong with not speaking when you don't feel comfortable doing so. Putting pressure on yourself to be something you think you should be will only make you more stressed out. Try not to worry how you are appearing to others and focus on what interests you.
I have social anxiety so I know how hard this is, but you can learn to live with it. |
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Jp896
Hummingbird
Joined: Feb 06, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:53 am Post subject: |
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| Thanks for the support. Its not the emergency room in the hospital, but an emergency mental health place. Its set up by the community mental health. I think it's like going to a mental institution but you get admitted even if you don't have money. The only problem is I think it's for people who are on the verge of killing themselves. Like for someone who calls a suicide hotline. |
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Ann2011
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2011
Posts: 1533
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:35 am Post subject: |
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| The emergency mental health place could be a good idea. People who work in those places are usually very supportive. Maybe you could go there and tell them how you're feeling. No harm in trying. Even if they don't admit you they may be able to point you to other resources that you were not aware of. If you do be sure to tell them how you feel at your worst, don't sugar coat things. |
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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 27, 2009
Age: 50
Posts: 4913
Location: Houston, Texas
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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I have nasal speech, plus I'm a nerdy guy and I like to talk about intellectual topics. Some people stereotype me as gay. I think the above has zero to do with my sexuality.
Then, in vaguer ways, some people smile about my voice. Do they not think I notice, Do they not think I'm not fully worthy of respect and to be taken seriously? I think there's some combination of this. I was asking strangers at a bus stop for signatures for an anti-war petition back in Nov. 1990. This young lady was smiling. I thought she agreed with me and was a sure signature. Then she said, "Just because you think something doesn't mean I do." Obviously. She doesn't need to tendentiously lecture me. It occurred to me the next day that she was half-laughing at my voice. Yes, I do take these things personally. It makes me more effective as an activist (and as a tutor, and previously as a tax preparer), but there is a cost to be paid.
I know what it's like to get in a downward spiral.
Do what you can to get it upward. For example, you might continue to make contributions here at WP. And/Or are there topics you might like to add to wikipedia? Actually, the threshold is pretty low since most people there seem to only focus on the rewriting. So typically, anyone with content knowledge willing to do research and citations can make articles better.
A doctor once told my mother, depression can start off situational and become biochem. And that makes sense to me. With antidepressants, what I've read is that it's trial and error in a respectful sense, it might be the 4th which really helps, might be the 7th. Just that everyone's biochem is a little different and no doctor in the world can predict in advance (could be new school Wellbutrin, could be old school Prozac, or . . any of the other slew). That's how I understand it. And plus, it's sometimes important to step down from an antidepressant in stages even if it doesn't seem to be working.
"Treating depression can be hit or miss"
http://articles.latimes.com/2009/aug/03/health/he-depression-drug-choice3 (2009 article)
"Stopping antidepressants can cause side effects"
http://articles.latimes.com/2009/aug/03/health/he-depression-stopping-drugs3 (2009)
Personally, I have found so-called mental health professionals to be people who love to hear themselves talk and/or who look at the world through the prism of a pet theory. I know that's not what you want to hear. Other people here have had positive experiences and more power to them.
Actually, one of the best people who helped me was a speech therapist who also talked about life issues with me (typically what I wanted to talk about).
And it occurs to me that someone like an exercise coach might serve this same function. And I'm serious. Trained mental health people don't have a monopoly on wisdom or practical advice (and I think what they often miss is the ping-ponging interplay between theory and experience).
And an internist or family practitioner can prescribe antidepressants just as well as a psychiatrist. Now, as soon as I say all this of course, you'll get someone at the clinic and they'll be great and more power to you. I do like Ann2011's advice of trying it at the emergency mental health place and not sugar coating it. |
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Ann2011
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2011
Posts: 1533
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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| AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote: | | A doctor once told my mother, depression can start off situational and become biochem. |
I think this is true. I remember at about 10 asking for help because I felt like part of my brain was dying. After going untreated I think it has switched to biochemical. Like I've suffered physical damage. |
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mntn13
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 07, 2011
Posts: 1006
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:39 am Post subject: Re: Can no longer function. |
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| Jp896 wrote: | Sorry for making this thread. I'm sure there are similar threads, but I didn't want to hijack another thread. I have a severe speech impediment and because of that I have social anxiety so bad that my it's impairing my life. I have absolutely no desire to talk to people. I've dropped out of two physics classes because they were group based. Some people really wanted to be my friend, but I was just to afraid of talking. Whenever I work in a group I kind of just scoot away and work all by myself. Whenever someone tries to talk to me I talk just enough so im not rude, I know I must seem extremely uncomfortable. The only job I had I got because my dad was the manager and even then I was too afraid to talk to anyone even though there were some people I really wanted to talk to. Now im afraid people will think im retarded when they hear me talk and treat me accordingly. In short, I'm too messed to function at all in society.
My insurance doesn't pay for mental health I feel like I'm at the point where the only way I can get help is to commit myself to an emergency institution. I just don't know what to expect if i go to an emergency institution. Will they just try to talk me out of commiting suicide and let me go, or will they actually help me get better in general and give me a way to get long term therapy? I would really appreciate any thoughts or advice. |
Just some thoughts - not sure how much if any help I can give. I have given this kind of thing some thought because my son has a severe speech impediment. Many people have assumed he is stupid, and it couldn't be farther from the truth. I have social anxiety that prevents me from communicating verbally because it always goes all wrong. ....so that you might know you're not the only one.
Have you checked if your insurance pays for speech therapy? Sometimes the therapists are not very good but sometimes they are great people. Even though my son's previous therapsit didn't improve his speech, she helped his mental outlook a lot, which gave him the strength to be more social. That in turn lessened his loneliness and sadness. Maybe there is someone near you who has a support group, if you want to try that sort of thing. The emergency mental health place might have some resources to suggest.
Perhaps you could communicate here on WP or other online places.
Then you could get back to your studies as well (?)
Good luck.
I hope you feel better soon. |
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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 27, 2009
Age: 50
Posts: 4913
Location: Houston, Texas
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Ann2011 wrote: | | AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote: | | A doctor once told my mother, depression can start off situational and become biochem. |
I think this is true. I remember at about 10 asking for help because I felt like part of my brain was dying. After going untreated I think it has switched to biochemical. Like I've suffered physical damage. |
Oh, wow, hopefully not. And they’ve found the brain is a lot more plastic than previously thought. For example, there’s been studies of giving SSRIs to stroke victims.
And apparently, with nonstroke victims, esp. people struggling with depression, too little serotonin, the brain is not making enough new connections. I guess the old connections are still there, but perhaps as part of a dynamic process, the brain needs to keep moving forward with new connections, maybe. (And other people are helped by SNRIs, etc.)
I'm sorry you did not get the help you needed around age 10, or a doctor with the skills who could really listen, and observe. |
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Apple_in_my_Eye
I don't remember
Joined: May 08, 2008
Age: 44
Posts: 3947
Location: in my brain
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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| AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote: | | Ann2011 wrote: | | AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote: | | A doctor once told my mother, depression can start off situational and become biochem. |
I think this is true. I remember at about 10 asking for help because I felt like part of my brain was dying. After going untreated I think it has switched to biochemical. Like I've suffered physical damage. |
Oh, wow, hopefully not. And they’ve found the brain is a lot more plastic than previously thought. For example, there’s been studies of giving SSRIs to stroke victims.
And apparently, with nonstroke victims, esp. people struggling with depression, too little serotonin, the brain is not making new connections. I guess the old connections are still there, but perhaps as part of a dynamic process, the brain needs to keep moving forward with new connections, maybe. (And other people are helped by SNRIs, etc.)
I am sorry you did not get the help you needed around age 10, or a doctor with the skills who could really listen, and observe. |
^ Yeah, there is some amazing research about brain plasticity.
I also had long-term untreated depression (recently treated) and have ended up rather addled, but I've been reading some fascinating research that the brain seems to be able to repair itself from such damage.
It turns out that too much stress hormone (cortisol) for too long a time does literally damage a part of the brain (the hippocampus). That's bad because the hippocampus is involved with terminating stress responses, so the more damage there is the worse it gets.
(The hippocampus is also involved with verbal memory, learning, and is a sort of bridge between the emotional and thinking parts of the brain -- possibly why it can be hard to feel passion or interest or anything at all when you're depressed.)
BUT, the good news is that the hippocampus is one of two areas that can generate new brain cells. In fact, that area normally generates 3000-5000 new neurons every day! Stress hormone shuts that process (neurogenesis) down and causes existing cells to retract their connections with other neurons (there is also a massive loss of receptors). So, with less stress things ought to improve. And even more so (especially since significant stress removal might not be possible, especially if there is a lot of damage already), a variety of things have been found to increase neurogenesis to greater-than-normal levels. I.e. all antidepressants, some anti-epileptic drugs (but not all), certain herbal substances (curcumin & piperine), and an enriched and safe environment (rats who have new, but safe environments to explore have increased NG).
Most of the research about this stuff is in regards to PTSD, but the scope of research is widening to other groups. -- And depression already is known to dysregulate the HPA axis such that there is a chronically increased cortisol level. One interesting factoid is that people who don't have PTSD, depression, or any psychological problem, can have the same brain damage because of a pituitary tumor (which causes the adrenals to make too much cortisol) or because they take high doses of cortisol-like drugs for a medical problem (like lupus). |
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Ann2011
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2011
Posts: 1533
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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AardvarkGoodSwimmer - Thanks. 
Apple in my Eye - That is really interesting. I think my hippocampus might be regenerating. |
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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 27, 2009
Age: 50
Posts: 4913
Location: Houston, Texas
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:33 pm Post subject: |
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| You're welcome. |
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slave
Always stuck between 13-38Hz and tired of it.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 100
Posts: 1328
Location: Dystopia Planetia
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 4:45 pm Post subject: Re: Can no longer function. |
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| Jp896 wrote: | Sorry for making this thread. I'm sure there are similar threads, but I didn't want to hijack another thread. I have a severe speech impediment and because of that I have social anxiety so bad that my it's impairing my life. I have absolutely no desire to talk to people. I've dropped out of two physics classes because they were group based. Some people really wanted to be my friend, but I was just to afraid of talking. Whenever I work in a group I kind of just scoot away and work all by myself. Whenever someone tries to talk to me I talk just enough so im not rude, I know I must seem extremely uncomfortable. The only job I had I got because my dad was the manager and even then I was too afraid to talk to anyone even though there were some people I really wanted to talk to. Now im afraid people will think im retarded when they hear me talk and treat me accordingly. In short, I'm too messed to function at all in society.
My insurance doesn't pay for mental health I feel like I'm at the point where the only way I can get help is to commit myself to an emergency institution. I just don't know what to expect if i go to an emergency institution. Will they just try to talk me out of commiting suicide and let me go, or will they actually help me get better in general and give me a way to get long term therapy? I would really appreciate any thoughts or advice. |
Don't be sry. We will accept you. Many of us can relate to the social nightmare you are describing.
May I ask, which type of speech impediment you have?
_________________
Since the birth of civilization, masters have controlled the masses.Our Masters rule over every nation and no one can defy them.They will attain Absolute Power as we reach the Singularity. Any who resist will be destroyed.I will not resist. |
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