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Do you enjoy socialising
Yes
30%
 30%  [ 19 ]
No
69%
 69%  [ 43 ]
Total Votes : 62

bumble
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Mar 27, 2011
Posts: 1389
Location: Norfolk, UK

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:15 pm    Post subject: Socialising Reply with quote

Do you enjoy socialising?

If yes, why?

If no, why not?

(Explain below if you feel so inclined)
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MiatheMutant
Raven
Raven


Joined: Apr 17, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 109
Location: Hogwarts, or Vegas maybe

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree. It's more fun in my world, and no one ever laughs at me or calls me names there. Plus, when I do actually socialize, I spend most of the time thinking of what else I could be doing with that time.
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VeggieGirl
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl


Joined: Jun 02, 2011
Posts: 125

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I enjoy socializing with certain people, who I feel comfortable around. I don't enjoy socializing in groups or with people I don't know very well.
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MasterYoshi
Emu Egg
Emu Egg


Joined: Apr 02, 2012
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do not enjoy socializing because I stress myself out figuring out what is appropriate and acceptable to say, while alone I can be in my own world without worrying about anyone judging me.
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pensieve
President of Gallifrey
Phoenix


Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 7449
Location: Sydney, Australia

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No. It's stressful and exhausting monitoring every word you say and taking note of what people say and how they say it. Mistakes will always happen which I'll either learn to not repeat them though I always do, or I'd just ignore them.
I have to suppress a lot of my thoughts and ideas because people don't show an interest and pretend to care about trivial matters a conversation that changes from one subject to another quickly, before I even have time to reply.
It always reaches a point in conversation where I get bored and give up. Ohh, little objects on table that I can line up.

Most importantly no great ideas comes to me while I'm with people. When I either walk/watch TV/ wash dishes alone I get a lot of ideas about the next thing to write about. When with people and in a high sensory environment I have no such thoughts, so I'm eager to get away.

Sometimes though when people give me a chance to talk physics or sci-fi or astronomy I'll enjoy myself a little bit more, albeit heavily medicated and slightly intoxicated. And if they have a dog we'll exchange phone numbers (the dog and I).
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glider18
Supporting Member
Supporting Member


Joined: Nov 09, 2008
Posts: 6700
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:36 pm    Post subject: socializing Reply with quote

No, I do not enjoy socializing. I find socializing rather awkward. It takes me out of my comfort zone. When I am in the middle of some event where there is socializing, I daydream about being back with my interests.
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Kinme
Dinosaurlicious
Phoenix


Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Posts: 3223

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Because even when I try my best to act normal to have people accept me, they always treat me like an outcast. Today ended with the same result. I feel exhausted and like I wasted time socializing with them.
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Lucywlf
Deinonychus
Deinonychus


Joined: Jun 23, 2011
Posts: 372

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I cannot give a straight yes or no answer on that one. Sometimes I enjoy socializing immensely; at others I would prefer doing something else. Learning, for instance, can be much more rewarding and enjoyable than socializing.
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Sempiternal
Is Standing Right Behind You
Phoenix


Joined: Feb 14, 2012
Age: 16
Posts: 8082
Location: Silicon Valley, CA

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love social situations where I can just let loose and fool around. I tend to connect more with people that way. One guy even said that he was surprised at how comfortable he felt around me even when we've never talked before and he had never heard me talk in class before either. Unfortunately, those situations don't happen anymore now that I've lost most of my old friends to high school.

I also feel relaxed in social situations when we're just lounging around doing our own thing, but I guess it really isn't a social situation because there's not as much interaction.

I absolutely hate most of the ones that include social chit-chat though. At least when I'm fooling around, I'm expected NOT to be normal, but during chit-chat, I kind of have to be. Chit-chat usually causes me a lot of anxiety, and there have been tons of times where things went wrong and weren't as fun as they should have been because of chit-chat.
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Your Aspie score: 155 of 200
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You are very likely an Aspie
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anneurysm
Who needs birds when you have Lena Dunham.
Phoenix


Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1883
Location: Barrie & Toronto, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do, but only with people who I can relate to in some way and who seem open to the kind of person I am. If you put me in the midst of certain groups of people, I will very clearly stand out, but around others I will totally blend in. I feel the most comfortable around silly and playful people, as well as those who are mature and able to talk about ideas. My core group of friends has both of these attributes.

As much as I enjoy socializing and spending time with interesting people, I'm an introvert at heart and have a limited amount of social energy. I find that when I carefully plan out my social activities with people in advance, I'm less likely to get grouchy, tired and worn out.
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Ettina
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Jan 14, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 1791

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Usually I do. Especially if I find someone who's willing to listen to me monologue. I do get anxious sometimes, when I get the feeling they might be inclined to pick on me or exclude me. And crowds are sensory overload for me. But get me with one or two attentive, friendly people and I can happily talk with them for several hours.
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Mdyar
emuegg
Phoenix


Joined: May 29, 2009
Posts: 2514

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know -- it's there.


I think I'm very prone to boredom.

But I do enjoy exchanging information and learning about something new and thus gaining some added insight into something -- always on the hunt for Wisdom.

I'd think I fall into the introvert niche of socialization; new information is my fix.

And to add, I will say that I feel borderlined with theory of mind, thus right at the edge of it -- in fact I somehow sense if there was just little less of it, I'd be intuitively impaired with it -- I feel just at the positive threshold of it.
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Last edited by Mdyar on Tue May 01, 2012 6:27 am; edited 1 time in total
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FishStickNick
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Apr 05, 2012
Posts: 957
Location: My own head

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

VeggieGirl wrote:
I enjoy socializing with certain people, who I feel comfortable around. I don't enjoy socializing in groups or with people I don't know very well.

Yeah, this describes me too. My closest friends are the ones most likely to be interested in the stuff I am, which helps.
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StarTrekker
Velociraptor
Velociraptor


Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 493
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Of the total of 13 friends I have had throughout the course of my life, only two of them have I actively enjoyed "socialising", i.e talking for talking's sake, with. They are the only two that get that I'm a little off-kilter and don't mind when I go off on bizarre tangents about my interests (Star Trek and literature), probably because one's an English teacher, and the other is as in love with ST as I am... Everybody else though, strangers, acquaintances, co-workers, etc., I hate having conversations with. They're boring because they're usually about things like sports or politics or gossip that I don't understand or have the time or inclination to keep up with, or anxiety-provoking (strangers especially) because I can never tell when I'm following the social rules correctly, plus I'm abysmal at small talk. It's rare when people get more than one-word answers out of me when they ask things like "what did you do today?" or "how's the weather?" Because try as I might I can't think of anything else to say. How long can two people talk about the fact that it's raining outside? Yes, I know it's raining, I was just out there. Why is this relevant to anything? So, in short, unless I'm allowed to go off on a monologue about something that is actually pertinent to me, I hate socialising and would just as soon be left alone to study the things that make me happy.
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Phoenix


Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13494
Location: My house

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 2:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For me it all depends. I like being with my family and I will go to the autism groups and it's fun to hear them talk about stuff. I find it easy to socialize when people accept you and listen to what you say to them and if you are both talking about what you are interested in, it makes the conversation more normal between us.
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