Kinme
Dinosaurlicious
Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Posts: 3223
|
 Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 6:28 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
| It's so freaking annoying. All the time! People just don't get it. I've even explained and they still think I'm just being a jerk or not participating because I'm lazy and inconsiderate. |
|
| Back to top |
|
AWESOMENESSFTW4444
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 15, 2012
Age: 17
Posts: 41
Location: Brookline, MA
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 7:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I may seem quiet in certain places at certain times, but I'm actually a very outgoing person.
Honestly if I'm being REALLY quiet, there's a good chance that I can care less about a good fraction of the people I'm with. For example: I'm VERY quiet in English class because most of the students seem very immature for kids who are my age. They're constantly calling out answers that never seem to have anything to do with the questions, always talking with each other when the teacher is trying to speak, and the guys try to immitate rap music for most of the class.
On the other hand, I'm more outgoing in my art class. This is because everyone seems more 'linked' to each other in a way that we're all helping one another improve on our work. It's also easier to get to know each person through the kind of art they do, so it's a lot easier to make friends in that class. The only time we ever talk to each other in that class is during critiques, when helping others with projects, or when we find something we like about someone else's work. We also tend to hang out outside of school as a result of being so close to everyone in class. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Sainrith
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 21, 2012
Posts: 12
Location: Alabama
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
When I was a kid and someone would ask why I was so quiet, I would shrug and say nothing, because I didn't know what they wanted me to say.
Now that I am older and I understand NTs better, when someone asks me why I am so quiet, I smile mischievously and say nothing, just to make them wonder. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Maerlyn138
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 03, 2005
Age: 41
Posts: 476
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
|
| Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:19 am Post subject: |
|
|
I used to get this when I was in junior and high school. In junior high I heard one person ask another if I ever spoke at all. The guy said, "Sure he does". He's said "Hey, Matt!" I said,"What?" and he said "there you go!".
Now at my job I am conscious of the fact that I am quieter that pretty much everyone (I am plotting my attack!....or playing some steam game of the laptop...downtime at work rocks!) But I talk when talking is required for my job. I am sure I would have more friends if I talked more, but I don't know if its worth the energy expenditure!
_________________
We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
Aspie score: 159 of 200 NT score: 64 of 200
|
|
| Back to top |
|
YourMajesty
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 02, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 211
Location: Not in the US
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:36 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I just have nothing to say. The things they talk about, what someone put on Facebook etc, isn't something I can talk about or feel interested in, therefore I feel no 'need' to talk. I do actively participate in class. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Yuzu
Deinonychus
![]()
Joined: Dec 29, 2011
Age: 42
Posts: 374
|
| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I do get a lot of "You are so quiet" too. It's very irritating.
I always try to think of a good come back but just end up saying something like "I guess I am." |
|
| Back to top |
|
Weirdlord
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 02, 2012
Posts: 10
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
That question always perturbs me, because I think I am actually being sociable... apparently not?
Person: " 'Bob' you're hilarious! How come I've never heard you never talk before?"
"Bob" : "Wait... WHAT? I've never talked? I thought I was being social in class..."
Response: "No 'Bob,' I always thought you were the awkward, quiet kid."
Always happens... |
|
| Back to top |
|
Lestat
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 26, 2012
Posts: 11
Location: Europe
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
Yes, I've heard this comment/question all my life, especcialy at high school. I don't know how to respond to this question. My primary reaction would be questioning back: "why are you talking so much?" 
I also think when I say a few things in a hour time I've been socially correct, because for me these few comments are already more than usually, but for other people it's still not enough.
_________________
Female, 20, Asperger's Syndrome |
|
| Back to top |
|
raylit20
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 24, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 99
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 3:44 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I once had a boss ask me loudly in front of a few other employees if I was a mime because I was always so quiet.
Funny how he disliked me for so long until he mentioned a special interest of mine. Then we were fine to talk about that for hours.
I do recall saying less at school throughout my entire 9th grade than many people say in a single typical conversation. Those were the days... |
|
| Back to top |
|
LookTwice
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Oct 31, 2011
Posts: 192
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Smartalex wrote: | Never been asked this question, I'm an outgoing NT.
Quietness is a warning sign and because people care they ask. Jerks take it and run BUT, it always starts and is asked out of concern.
Quietness resembles depression, abuse, sickness/nausea, tiredness, anxiety. Quietness also can indicate shyness. We care, that's why we ask. We care if you're shy and left out. Again, there are jerks that take this and run.
Dolphins look after dolphins and, they even see humans that are drowning and have saved people. The instinct is to help, same thing. |
Quietness resembles being relaxed and at peace, it resembles deep contemplation and creativity.
Babbling all the time resembles nervousness, fear of silence and anxiety in general, (and can be an indicator of) abuse, narcissism, bipolar disorder and alzheimer's.
I also don't really get why you need to refer to dolphins to make a point about trying to be helpful. So quiet people are just as foreign and incomprehensible as humans are to dolphins? Huh.
"Why are you talking all the time, are you CRAZY??? (I'm just worried about you, maybe you should check yourself in to a mental hospital before it gets worse!?)". |
|
| Back to top |
|
Gazelle
Crossword Aficionado
Joined: Mar 09, 2012
Posts: 1645
Location: Tropical island
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:59 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Yuzu wrote: | I do get a lot of "You are so quiet" too. It's very irritating.
I always try to think of a good come back but just end up saying something like "I guess I am." |
Yes I often get asked this question and it is not easy to know what to say back to someone who asks this question. Sometimes it feels like someone saying it to me is coming off that it is a flaw and other times the person seems curious or concerned as to why I am quiet. Other times if someone gets to know me one on one they will comment that I am quite funny at times. In some situations such as school or work if there are a lot of group situations and pressure to speak up and play politics then I feel that I "shut down." If I feel more comfortable and go out on the weekends with a few friends I can relax and be myself.
_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure." |
|
| Back to top |
|
Gazelle
Crossword Aficionado
Joined: Mar 09, 2012
Posts: 1645
Location: Tropical island
|
| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:00 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Yuzu wrote: | I do get a lot of "You are so quiet" too. It's very irritating.
I always try to think of a good come back but just end up saying something like "I guess I am." |
Yes I often get asked this question and it is not easy to know what to say back to someone who asks this question. Sometimes it feels like the person saying it to me is hinting that it is a flaw and other times the person seems curious or concerned as to why I am quiet. Other times if someone gets to know me one on one they will comment that I am quite funny or comical at times. In some situations such as school or work if there are a lot of group situations and pressure to speak up and play politics then I feel that I "shut down." If I feel more comfortable and go out on the weekends with a few friends I can relax and be myself.
_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure." |
|
| Back to top |
|
EstherJ
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 05, 2012
Posts: 1037
Location: The long-lost library at Alexandria
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
People think that if you're quiet, something's wrong.
No. If I'm not quiet, something's wrong.
If I'm intense, focusing, its OK. Stop asking me if I'm ok, or what's wrong, or why I'm so quiet. In fact, stop barraging me with so many questions!
And, if you do ask, don't get mad at me for not pasting a nice fake smile and being all bubbly. Ain't gonna happen. Not sorry.
Rant over for now. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Night_Shade917
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 04, 2012
Posts: 95
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 7:42 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I'm a quiet person, but only to people who don't get to know me enough. Once I get comfortable with people, I become more talkative and will open up to them more. In large groups of friends I am often seen as quiet because I'm mostly drowned out by the louder characters in the group. If I don't know the people in the group, I'm more likely to be quiet and not say anything out of my own, only if somebody asks me something I'll answer. I think this is because I can only open up to people if I've seen them and talked to them enough to get used to them or if I've known them for a while. I think this is probably a trust thing. I just feel I can't be open with people in person that I don't really know. |
|
| Back to top |
|
TheHouseholdCat
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany
|
| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Well, I never honestly answer that question.
People especially hate quiet women. Quiet men are sexy and mysterious, but as a woman you're expected to gibber away all the time. I do that, but only around people I can talk to. That's not that many...
I used to be loud. Well, things change.
At one point I realized people didn't want to listen to me, so I stopped talking. I never talk about anything unless I am really sure about it.
Or if I forget myself and am myself for a change.
_________________
EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS
"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
