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Mirror21
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 17, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 1570
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 Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:27 pm Post subject: Sensory Overload an Option? |
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Today was a perfect example of what vexes me. I have come to the conclusion that no matter how good, no one is perfect so my roommate not understanding my issues or labeling them as behavioral misconduct is nothing new nor something I don't expect and I even understand it.
We have not argued or anything today, but she did make me cry. I have sensory issues. I am really sensitive to certain things, not all sounds, but some. One of them is the sounds of wheels when certain things are being dragged. Well today at the store an employee was dragging a packed gazebo. Last time that made me cry because it was so painful to me. Not like it hurts my ears . . . it was just painful.
She told me I make louder noises all day and I should get over it. Later on she asked me if I was still mad over her comment when she saw how quiet i got. I told her I wasn't mad. I told her it made me sad. She said that the reason she pointed that out is so that I would realize I was making it a big deal.
I said you dont understand, it HURTS.
She said that my brain was making the choice of interpreting the sound as pain, and therefore it was an optional feeling. Mind you this was said in the tenderest of voices. I just smiled and let it go. I thought later of how people cant control if their foot hurts after standing on a nail, why does it make it different for me that something causes me pain. But I didn't I get tired of trying to explain it and her always saying I opted to do it.
I get treated like a devious creature. I am rude on purpose, I get irritated because I am being bitchy or whinny.
Tell me how can I OPT to have my brain interpret something as pain. Seriously!! Please tell me where I can find that switch and pummel it to the ground I would LOVE to find it! |
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Apple_in_my_Eye
I don't remember
Joined: May 08, 2008
Age: 44
Posts: 3941
Location: in my brain
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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Like the sound is piecing your soul? Yeah, that sucks, and even worse when someone says you're exaggerating when you're not.
I guess I gave up expectation of being understood very much a long time ago, but it shouldn't have to be that way.
NT's are really not all that empathetic. They're just similar enough to most other people they deal with to fool themselves into thinking that they are. Thus, if you are not that similar in some way then they'll project themselves into the situation and think, "well, that doesn't bother me, so he/she is just whining/being dramatic/making a big deal out of nothing and just needs to suck it up." Ugh.
Someone needs to make a device that forcibly copies brainwaves to another person so that they can experience actual empathy with a person. (Sort of like the point-of-view gun in Hitchiker's Guide that makes people see things from your POV when you shoot them with it. POV gun) |
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Mirror21
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 17, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 1570
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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I completely Agree. I do not mean to say she is a nasty person or even not understanding on a regular basis, but is a matter of my marked differences that get to her, especially when she has seen similar situations in which I do not act like a freak. To her this means I can act that way all the time because I have "displayed" the ability to do so before.
The whole thing is hard to explain to people. I mean how do you explain that its just pain. Its not pain like in your head or your ears or your hands. It is just simply painful. |
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one-A-N
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2010
Posts: 704
Location: Sydney
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:11 am Post subject: |
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I have a form of sound sensitivity (misophonia) where it is NOT the loudness of the sound, but the type of sound, that causes me severe distress.
Like many people with misophonia, I am distressed by eating and drinking sounds - even very quiet sounds, as long as they are audible at all. In fact, I would rather eat in a noisy restaurant, where the loud background hubbub drowns out the precise sounds of eating and drinking, than be in a dead quiet room where one other person was "quietly" eating (because there is nothing to cover up their eating sounds).
Point is: loudness is not the only sound trigger - you are triggered by a type of sound, not by loudness. Sometimes sudden or high-pitched sounds, rather than loud sounds, can bother Aspies - and for some people (like me) it is quiet eating sounds, etc. You colleague is mistaken in thinking that loudness is the only thing that can bother other people. |
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redrobin62
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2012
Age: 50
Posts: 3837
Location: Seattle, WA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:07 pm Post subject: |
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| I can't listen to music where an instrument is out of tune. It sounds like fingernails across a blackboard to me. Sometimes you hear high school and college orchestras & wind bands where the horn section isn't intonated properly. Arrgghhh! |
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DJFester
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 06, 2009
Posts: 970
Location: Minneapolis MN USA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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| redrobin62 wrote: | | I can't listen to music where an instrument is out of tune. It sounds like fingernails across a blackboard to me. Sometimes you hear high school and college orchestras & wind bands where the horn section isn't intonated properly. Arrgghhh! |
I have that same issue, it makes me cringe. 
_________________
You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks. |
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Mirror21
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 17, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 1570
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:23 pm Post subject: |
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| one-A-N wrote: | | Point is: loudness is not the only sound trigger - you are triggered by a type of sound, not by loudness. Sometimes sudden or high-pitched sounds, rather than loud sounds, can bother Aspies. |
That is exactly the point that I tried to make, but my expression skills must be really bad and I do not make myself understood or people in general wish to disregard it or both. Some days I feel very crappy, some days, not so much. And it is worse when I am in a car, because there are too many distractions there for me to keep a coherent stream of conversation pace without getting distracted and being labeled as “indifferent” or ignoring people on purpose. Why does this happen so often? |
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kirayng
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 13, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 745
Location: Maine, USA
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| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 2:04 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know why it happens so often, but it does for me as well... and sometimes I just can't predict it and it sends me into a rage or a meltdown. My upstairs neighbor thinks he's a great guitar player but he plays with C and F out of tune and it drives me insane!
I once read about how people with autism/sensory sensitivities lack a "biofilter" that other people have... that blunts incoming sensations so the brain processes it correctly or something.... anyway I joke about it as if I'm "talking to a wall" when I'm confronted with someone else's POV that I can't change to see mine... and they say that about me! lol
Eating noises bother me and I never realized that I'll talk nonstop throughout a meal just so I don't have to hear mine and everyone else's chewing. I watch TV with hubby so I don't hear him either and sometimes it's not enough and I give him a look...
Where is that bloody switch anyways? It is there, somewhere, because it makes me space out of other sensations, why can't I control it at will? Frustrating. |
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merwin
Emu Egg
Joined: Oct 06, 2011
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 2:59 am Post subject: |
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| kirayng wrote: |
Eating noises bother me and I never realized that I'll talk nonstop throughout a meal just so I don't have to hear mine and everyone else's chewing. I watch TV with hubby so I don't hear him either and sometimes it's not enough and I give him a look...
Where is that bloody switch anyways? It is there, somewhere, because it makes me space out of other sensations, why can't I control it at will? Frustrating. |
I will occasionally cringe while my wife is looking when she is eating something particularly loudly. I stop and apologize, and we (usually) laugh about it... but it is like torture to me.
I think it finally became apparent how much sensory sensitivity can impact someone when we moved into our current house and the dryer made a high pitched squeal while it was on. She ended up having to dry the clothes while I wasn't home because I couldn't bear to be around it... my hands clasped tightly over my ears.
The absolute worst (both for my emotional state and the sensory issues) is the sound of children screaming. Having two of them... a 6 year old (who was just formally diagnosed PDD-NOS yesterday) and the other in his terrible two's can leave me a wreck after just a couple of hours.
It's very hard to feel like a competent parent, and even like a competent spouse, when the sounds of your own children make you resemble superman near kryptonite.
But the worst part of all? Trying to explain sensory sensitivity to someone who hasn't had to experience it. It's usually met with a look somewhere between "suck it up, you're a parent" and "of course crying annoys you. It annoys everyone".
I have stopped trying to explain it, for the most part, and usually wear those moldable earplugs when I get into a situation that might trigger something. In fact, I always have them in my pocket 
From what I can tell, NT's have as much capability of emphasizing with us as we do with them. It's possible, but not likely... |
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Mirror21
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 17, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 1570
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| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:24 pm Post subject: |
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These issues are hard to explain to individuals who do not have them, especially without them trying to rationalize them for you and try to "advise you" on how to "get over" them.
The sound of chewing has never really bothered me. I actually LOVE crunchy food about all else because of the noise and texture, same with mushy. I like things with extreme flavors and textures and bland food makes me gag quite a bit. Although I do not think there are things I would ever try like fresh Kiwi, or edemame or anything edible that is FUZZY. |
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