A_Landy
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 23, 2012
Age: 18
Posts: 46
Location: Surrey, BC
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 Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:26 am Post subject: Am I thinking too far ahead? |
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I'm not a parent, yet, nor in a relationship (but I would love to start a family in the future), but I've been having these thoughts in my head:
What if my children has what I have (Autism) and how should I prepare for that (since he or she will have a higher chance through genetics, of which I most likely didn't get autism from)?
What would my children, who doesn't develop autism, think of me?
Am I thinking too far ahead (especially for my age)?  |
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kojot
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 18, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 95
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:22 am Post subject: Re: Am I thinking too far ahead? |
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| A_Landy wrote: | I'm not a parent, yet, nor in a relationship (but I would love to start a family in the future), but I've been having these thoughts in my head:
What if my children has what I have (Autism) and how should I prepare for that (since he or she will have a higher chance through genetics, of which I most likely didn't get autism from)?
What would my children, who doesn't develop autism, think of me?
Am I thinking too far ahead (especially for my age)? |
At your age and being single, I'd say yes, you're over-thinking. But those are valid questions before taking the step towards parenthood.
At my age I think about it occasionally  |
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momsparky
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 27, 2010
Posts: 2737
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:36 am Post subject: |
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I think it's a good idea to be prepared and have strategies in place for both possibilities, but I'd also say not to worry about it too much.
Parenthood is a fast, unpredictable, bumpy ride: there is only so prepared you can be. It matters less what kinds of strategies you're ready to employ, and more that you care about your children and are willing to do whatever it takes to help them become individuals, whatever kind of individual that might be. Keep in mind that even if your child is AS or is NT, that still leaves a whole range of other possibilities open that you will have to deal with.
Humility and a willingness to ask for help when you need it are more important than preparedness.
That being said - we were able to plan when we had a child, and I'm glad we did. Being relatively financially secure and in a stable relationship (if you're doing this with a partner) or having dependable support (i.e. somebody who's willing to provide child care whenever you need it) makes the whole thing a lot easier for both parents and kids. That part is what you should think about at 17 - managing your own future. |
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ASDMommyASDKid
Hobbit
Joined: Oct 28, 2011
Posts: 1060
Location: "It was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort."
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 3:35 am Post subject: |
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I agree with Momsparky.
Any child, but especially a child on the spectrum needs stability and consistency. You can never completely get rid of uncertainty or change, but the more stable (and drama free) you can make things for your child, the happier he/she will be.
You on the other hand will have to be flexible, willing to try new things, and be able to admit if your original strategy is a fail, so you can try something new. You will have to deal with the sensory issues (noise etc) intrinsic with children, and which may be worse with an autistic child, and you will have to be the one to figure out how to communicate, if your child doesn't want to or can't.
Children are fun and surprising and if you have an autistic child there are things that you will understand without necessarily even knowing why you understand them, right off. If you have an NT child, (based on what I have seen, as I don't have one;) They are fun, too in their own quirky way. 
Yes, it is too early to get too into the details, but thinking about it is not a bad thing, at all. |
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