lilbetta
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 10, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 153
Location: my own lil world
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 Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 10:26 am Post subject: nice! |
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Wow I really want to read ur blog.now that was an excellent piece! I am. Sorta the shrink but not entirely I like to think of myself as the sage I love giving advice and people come to me for it but I know how to respect others lives and not solve everything I see as a problem because to them it Amy not be a problem PLUS people also need to learn some lessons on their own by failing first...  |
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Crazygirl79
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 78
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 10:35 am Post subject: |
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Yes of course everyone has these kinds of characteristics and in small doses we can usually overlook and tolerate them but when it's in extremes and impacts the life of another person then you need to assess the situation...
S | namaste wrote: | I have had many such types of so called friends..........and its only after the damage is done we realise what they actually are
The Big Mouth- my sister in law she goes around telling all my private and personal things to the whole world out there
The Gossip- My aunt she is heavily into it and i know for sure she gossips about me when i am not around
The Unreliable Friend.- she was fun we we worked together but then she became unreliable and would not keep promises
The Friend You've Outgrown- my college friend i have outgrown her we have become too different now to share the same boat
The Swinger,The Whiner,The Drama Queen- defines my mom in every aspect
The Selfish Friend- reminds me of my building friend who always borrowed things from me even money and finally disappeared after taking a huge collection of my personal books
The Competitor- some of my son's classmate whom i call up to ask about notes are like this its a headache but quite a lot of them are like this
The Shrink- this describes my personality well.
well if we judge people when will we love them..........because most of the people are like this we hardly have good people left to interact with. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14869
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 12:28 pm Post subject: |
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double post
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream.
Last edited by Sweetleaf on Tue May 01, 2012 12:30 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14869
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 12:29 pm Post subject: |
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So we ought to think of abandoning our friends when things get tough.....rather then try to work through the issue as friends and resolve it.
I mean in the situation of the bi-polar person reading a post wrong and going on a rant about it....what might have been wrong with simply letting her cool off and then having explain what was meant instead of treating that she misunderstood as some major offense on her part. I've misunderstood things and over-reacted before, luckily for me I guess everyone is not quick to abandon a relationship with someone when that happens. But yeah in that case I am litterally thinking people are wronging me its not as though I am 'abusing' them more like reacting how anyone would react if what she was paranoid about being done to her was actually being done to them. Now if she litterally was abusing you as in you know like beating you or controlling what your allowed to do or weird possisive stuff like that then I would have done the same. But to each their own I certainly don't expect you to keep people who are bringing you down in your life......but it just seems like you'd assume just abandon friends then try and work things out first. I could be wrong though and even if that is true well I can't tell you how to live your life...but In my life cutting out friends I do have would not do much good.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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namaste
Enigmatic Charismatically Odd
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Posts: 1883
Location: Hindustan
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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you changed your profile pic..........luking nice in this one
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The only thing right in this wrong world is
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iggy64
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 23, 2012
Posts: 410
Location: East England
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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I used to know the wild child unrelieable friend. Oh, and she was clingy too.... Eventually I got rid of her when I had to move house with my parents when I was 11.
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Female, 16
Knowledge is knowing that tomatoes are fruits. It takes wisdom to know not to put them in a fruit salad.
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Crazygirl79
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 78
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 6:59 pm Post subject: Re: nice! |
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Thank you for your kind words and there is nothing wrong with giving advice to friends as that is different from taking over and solving their problems for them especially without their consent.
I think you have a good idea of what a friend is in terms of giving advice 
S | lilbetta wrote: | | Wow I really want to read ur blog.now that was an excellent piece! I am. Sorta the shrink but not entirely I like to think of myself as the sage I love giving advice and people come to me for it but I know how to respect others lives and not solve everything I see as a problem because to them it Amy not be a problem PLUS people also need to learn some lessons on their own by failing first... |
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Crazygirl79
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 78
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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Well she abused me publicly for whoever was on my friends list including relatives to see and still continued to abuse me publicly despite mine and another persons attempts to explain what I meant by what I wrote in my status and a loved one who generally never gets involved in these issues even said they would step in and speak to her if she kept her crap up so I took her off my friends list to put a stop to it then she sends me a private message saying a few nasty things and went on to criticise me further and thats when I fired up and admitted that my comments are sometimes thoughtless and politically incorrect but I also live in a democratic country where freedom of speech is allowed, she didn't have a comeback for that but did apologise which I accepted, I then added her back on to my friends list temporarily but after thinking about it further I realised that she really isn't someone I need in my life as she was starting to bring me down. Generally I am not to abandon a friendship too quickly, if anything I tend to hang onto friendships that really aren't that good for me for longer than I should and now I'm just learning how to balance that out and only surround myself with reasonably good people and move on from the less than ideal friendships...I'm not the same Aspie/ADDer who was desperate for friends and would take on any lame dog anymore, I have changed and I do know a little better now.
What angered me about this woman was that she was trying to tell me in a round about way how to express myself on my own Facebook, what right does she have to do that?? If she didn't like what was written she should simply not have read it and not commented on it and I told her that too not only that I am also like the forth person she's turned nasty on for either no reason or a reason which don't even affect her life like two of her friends getting into a relationship which she carried on like a jealous ex would despite the fact she was never with or even had an interest in the guy involved which is totally illogical.
I am sympathetic to people who are sick with a mental health condition as I know quiet a few people with those as I mentioned before and because I have been heavily exposed to people with disabilities and mental health conditions I am able to tell the difference between genuine illness and bad behaviour, as I said it was explained to her by two people what I meant by what I wrote in my status and she still continued her crap.
S | Sweetleaf wrote: | So we ought to think of abandoning our friends when things get tough.....rather then try to work through the issue as friends and resolve it.
I mean in the situation of the bi-polar person reading a post wrong and going on a rant about it....what might have been wrong with simply letting her cool off and then having explain what was meant instead of treating that she misunderstood as some major offense on her part. I've misunderstood things and over-reacted before, luckily for me I guess everyone is not quick to abandon a relationship with someone when that happens. But yeah in that case I am litterally thinking people are wronging me its not as though I am 'abusing' them more like reacting how anyone would react if what she was paranoid about being done to her was actually being done to them. Now if she litterally was abusing you as in you know like beating you or controlling what your allowed to do or weird possisive stuff like that then I would have done the same. But to each their own I certainly don't expect you to keep people who are bringing you down in your life......but it just seems like you'd assume just abandon friends then try and work things out first. I could be wrong though and even if that is true well I can't tell you how to live your life...but In my life cutting out friends I do have would not do much good. |
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Crazygirl79
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 78
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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You generally have to do whats right for you and maybe that move when you were 11 helped you move on from this not so healthy friendship and it maybe helped her in some way too unless she found someone else to cling onto....
S | iggy64 wrote: | | I used to know the wild child unrelieable friend. Oh, and she was clingy too.... Eventually I got rid of her when I had to move house with my parents when I was 11. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14869
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Crazygirl79 wrote: | Well she abused me publicly for whoever was on my friends list including relatives to see and still continued to abuse me publicly despite mine and another persons attempts to explain what I meant by what I wrote in my status and a loved one who generally never gets involved in these issues even said they would step in and speak to her if she kept her crap up so I took her off my friends list to put a stop to it then she sends me a private message saying a few nasty things and went on to criticise me further and thats when I fired up and admitted that my comments are sometimes thoughtless and politically incorrect but I also live in a democratic country where freedom of speech is allowed, she didn't have a comeback for that but did apologise which I accepted, I then added her back on to my friends list temporarily but after thinking about it further I realised that she really isn't someone I need in my life as she was starting to bring me down. Generally I am not to abandon a friendship too quickly, if anything I tend to hang onto friendships that really aren't that good for me for longer than I should and now I'm just learning how to balance that out and only surround myself with reasonably good people and move on from the less than ideal friendships...I'm not the same Aspie/ADDer who was desperate for friends and would take on any lame dog anymore, I have changed and I do know a little better now.
Ok well it sounds like she was a little more harrasing then I assumed...So I can't say you were wrong there.
What angered me about this woman was that she was trying to tell me in a round about way how to express myself on my own Facebook, what right does she have to do that?? If she didn't like what was written she should simply not have read it and not commented on it and I told her that too not only that I am also like the forth person she's turned nasty on for either no reason or a reason which don't even affect her life like two of her friends getting into a relationship which she carried on like a jealous ex would despite the fact she was never with or even had an interest in the guy involved which is totally illogical.
I am sympathetic to people who are sick with a mental health condition as I know quiet a few people with those as I mentioned before and because I have been heavily exposed to people with disabilities and mental health conditions I am able to tell the difference between genuine illness and bad behaviour, as I said it was explained to her by two people what I meant by what I wrote in my status and she still continued her crap. |
Ah alright that makes more sense, that sort of thing would bother me to.......I mean if you tried explaining it and she was still being nasty then she probably wasn't someone you needed in your life. But yeah I just know I've had times were I get upset about something over misunderstanding it and then been accused of being manipulative or something....But if I care about someone I'm not going to sit there and be nasty to them when they do try to explain though I admit sometimes I do need to kind of cool off before I can be reasoned with. But yeah there is no way I could keep any sort of face book drama going in that state of mind nor would I want to in general.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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SpiritBlooms
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 15, 2009
Posts: 1024
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:40 pm Post subject: |
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Okay. But if you find someone who is never any of those things, please let me know. I want to meet this paragon of humanity.
Come on, aren't you being a perfectionist? Some of these aren't really types at all but behaviors.
HUMAN BEINGS HAVE FLAWS. Accepting this means you also accept yourself and all your flaws. Also that people aren't right dismissing Aspies as flawed.
If you've been hurt by friends and no longer want to associate with them as individuals, that's one thing, but to list a lot of very human behaviors as types and say you reject them all means you reject most of humanity. |
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HisDivineMajesty
Carolingian Emperor Extraordinaire
Joined: Feb 01, 2012
Posts: 1364
Location: Planet Earth
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 8:03 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm glad I haven't encountered too many of those. The worst I encountered in the past few months was someone who asked what I was doing several times an hour at times. He's friendly, though, and it's mostly in jest. |
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Crazygirl79
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 78
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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We all misread things from time to time and we all lose our cool and need time to cool off from time to time but if we're reasonable people like myself and you by the sounds of it then things can be sorted out quickly and go back to normal but yes when someone continues their garbage despite a proper explanation being given then you have to take the appropriate action.
It was just an upsetting experience and it really felt as if she was trying to wind me up and antagonize me and I told her this too and she didn't make any attempts to deny it which led me to believe that I was right in assuming that she was doing some of this sh** on purpose, basically what I'm saying on here has already been told to her except I didn't tell her our friendship was over as she was in a bad way and I didn't want to make things worse so I blocked her and then later deactivated my Facebook and my decision to stop using Facebook was probably one of the best decisions I've made in a long time, I feel happier, I am more positive and I actually have time to play computer games, write on forums like this one that are worthwhile, spending time with loved ones and living life without all the unnecesary drama, negativity and bullshit that comes with some people on Facebook.
I think Facebook is a great way to communicate with family and friends but sadly too many use it for the wrong reasons therefore abusing it and ruining the experience for everyone else.
S | Sweetleaf wrote: | | Crazygirl79 wrote: | Well she abused me publicly for whoever was on my friends list including relatives to see and still continued to abuse me publicly despite mine and another persons attempts to explain what I meant by what I wrote in my status and a loved one who generally never gets involved in these issues even said they would step in and speak to her if she kept her crap up so I took her off my friends list to put a stop to it then she sends me a private message saying a few nasty things and went on to criticise me further and thats when I fired up and admitted that my comments are sometimes thoughtless and politically incorrect but I also live in a democratic country where freedom of speech is allowed, she didn't have a comeback for that but did apologise which I accepted, I then added her back on to my friends list temporarily but after thinking about it further I realised that she really isn't someone I need in my life as she was starting to bring me down. Generally I am not to abandon a friendship too quickly, if anything I tend to hang onto friendships that really aren't that good for me for longer than I should and now I'm just learning how to balance that out and only surround myself with reasonably good people and move on from the less than ideal friendships...I'm not the same Aspie/ADDer who was desperate for friends and would take on any lame dog anymore, I have changed and I do know a little better now.
Ok well it sounds like she was a little more harrasing then I assumed...So I can't say you were wrong there.
What angered me about this woman was that she was trying to tell me in a round about way how to express myself on my own Facebook, what right does she have to do that?? If she didn't like what was written she should simply not have read it and not commented on it and I told her that too not only that I am also like the forth person she's turned nasty on for either no reason or a reason which don't even affect her life like two of her friends getting into a relationship which she carried on like a jealous ex would despite the fact she was never with or even had an interest in the guy involved which is totally illogical.
I am sympathetic to people who are sick with a mental health condition as I know quiet a few people with those as I mentioned before and because I have been heavily exposed to people with disabilities and mental health conditions I am able to tell the difference between genuine illness and bad behaviour, as I said it was explained to her by two people what I meant by what I wrote in my status and she still continued her crap. |
Ah alright that makes more sense, that sort of thing would bother me to.......I mean if you tried explaining it and she was still being nasty then she probably wasn't someone you needed in your life. But yeah I just know I've had times were I get upset about something over misunderstanding it and then been accused of being manipulative or something....But if I care about someone I'm not going to sit there and be nasty to them when they do try to explain though I admit sometimes I do need to kind of cool off before I can be reasoned with. But yeah there is no way I could keep any sort of face book drama going in that state of mind nor would I want to in general. |
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Crazygirl79
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 78
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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If he's friendly and you know it's done in jest you shouldn't worry about it unless it becomes really annoying and then you can probably tell that person to slow it down or if they ask what you're doing several times in an hour or something and if you're still doing the same thing you could say "Same as before" and the like.
S | HisDivineMajesty wrote: | | I'm glad I haven't encountered too many of those. The worst I encountered in the past few months was someone who asked what I was doing several times an hour at times. He's friendly, though, and it's mostly in jest. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14869
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 9:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Crazygirl79 wrote: | We all misread things from time to time and we all lose our cool and need time to cool off from time to time but if we're reasonable people like myself and you by the sounds of it then things can be sorted out quickly and go back to normal but yes when someone continues their garbage despite a proper explanation being given then you have to take the appropriate action.
It was just an upsetting experience and it really felt as if she was trying to wind me up and antagonize me and I told her this too and she didn't make any attempts to deny it which led me to believe that I was right in assuming that she was doing some of this sh** on purpose, basically what I'm saying on here has already been told to her except I didn't tell her our friendship was over as she was in a bad way and I didn't want to make things worse so I blocked her and then later deactivated my Facebook and my decision to stop using Facebook was probably one of the best decisions I've made in a long time, I feel happier, I am more positive and I actually have time to play computer games, write on forums like this one that are worthwhile, spending time with loved ones and living life without all the unnecesary drama, negativity and bullshit that comes with some people on Facebook.
I think Facebook is a great way to communicate with family and friends but sadly too many use it for the wrong reasons therefore abusing it and ruining the experience for everyone else.
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Yeah that makes sense, I mean bi-polar or not that's not cool...I mean I have depression but that does not mean I should try to make someone feel bad like it sounds like she may have been doing. As for facebook, I honestly mostly use it for a game called Pot Farm but I sometimes talk to family/friends, occasionally play other games though most of them suck and occasionally I put pictures up, update my status with random quotes, songs I find on youtube I like and whatever. But I certainly don't feel any need to log in every day.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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