zeldapsychology
Phoenix
Joined: May 05, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 3203
Location: Florida
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 Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 3:58 pm Post subject: Does anyone have to have there issues pointed out? |
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You don't realize when you're rude or in my case I repeat myself. I tend to repeat myself when excited over something. OMG! this new game is awesome check it out etc. You should really check out this new game etc. Until someone actually does it. Dad snapped at me OMG! You're always repeating yourself!!!!  I don't realize my issues until people point them out. Anyone else like this or was like this? Does this change with getting older or more mature? I'm not sure. Thanks! |
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TechnoDog
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 17, 2012
Posts: 869
Location: Thornaby, UK
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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Well do you do it, when they don't seem to be moving? Or at the same point?
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INTJ, Type5 Observer, Ecologists,
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SilkySifaka
Lemur
Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1396
Location: UK
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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I don't repeat myself, but I have a tendency to monologue (just talk and talk until I run out of breath without letting anyone else get a word in). I've done this since I was a child and it hasn't changed as I've got older. When I'm doing it my family lets me know, by saying things like 'Do you want to take a breath now?' or 'Shall we change the subject?' and occasionally 'Please stop talking!'. I do feel a bit mortified, but it is good for me to know when I am doing it. It usually happens when I am excited about something, or talking about one of my interests. Most people don't want to talk about things I am interested in, so it doesn't happen very often with people I don't know well. I think it's nice that you get so excited about things  Try not to to feel bad about it. |
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Rebel_Nowe
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 08, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 452
Location: All Eternals Deck
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah. I used to be really bad about telling people the same facts or anecdotes over and over. Also, the only reason I'm still with my wife is because she was so instrumental in discovering I have aspergers. I unintentionally upset her a lot before I knew what I was looking for. |
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6284
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah, sometimes... I've had instances in the past where my ex-boyfriend told me that I was being rude and I wasn't consciously realizing it until he pointed it out. There have also been times when I thought back and realized how rude I was in certain situations or stuff I said that I should of thought about before I spoke. |
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faerie_queene87
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 28, 2011
Posts: 162
Location: the TARDIS
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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I usually don't realize my issues until pointed out by someone. The problem is that usually people don't do that - for politeness, I guess. Sometimes I keep feeling worried about how I am behaving, since I don't know whether I do it appropriately or not. It does hurt when people point out things to me and tell me how I should behave, but after a brief moment I am actually thankful, because at that point I know what to do.
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At age 24, 4 months and 10 days I was officially told: "Congratulations! You are an Aspie".
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mindmapper
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 17, 2012
Posts: 86
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:11 pm Post subject: |
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| SilkySifaka wrote: | | I don't repeat myself, but I have a tendency to monologue (just talk and talk until I run out of breath without letting anyone else get a word in). |
I had this today, explaining someone where a specific product was featured in a supermarket's special deals book, I started mentioning all the special deals and their prices, talking really fast without taking a breath until I repeatedly got told to stop. In this case I just saw the pages of the book flying by and was simply trying to keep up 
It's mostly when I make jokes that I don't realize they could be very rude or insulting sometimes. This weekend I went out with some friends, and I made an insulting joke after someone made a cheeky comment about the subject I was talking about, but fortunately he thought it was funny. The other friend looked a bit shocked though. A bit later we briefly talked about this, I pointed out I never intentionally try to upset anyone. |
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Kinme
Dinosaurlicious
Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Posts: 3223
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:48 pm Post subject: |
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| I do this when the person seems uninterested or is taking forever to go see the thing I found or something... I do it to my mom ALL the time and she gets infuriated at me. |
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pensieve
President of Gallifrey
Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 7452
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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I'm too aware of myself now. I used to not notice when I got into arguments. I just thought I was having a conversation.
Next time your dad complains about you say, "It's ok, dad, I love you too." Maybe he'll back off. Do it in that scornful 'when-was-the-last-time-you-said-it' way. Manipulative, yes, but if I had to deal with your father I'd be having a meltdown a day and have full ODD, even conduct disorder by now.
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Orr
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 12, 2011
Posts: 564
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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Yes. I need things directly pointing out, hints do not work, and if something is not a problem to me I will not address it.
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conundrum
seeking harmony in an imbalanced world
Joined: May 26, 2010
Posts: 2109
Location: third rock from one of many suns
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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| pensieve wrote: | | Next time your dad complains about you say, "It's ok, dad, I love you too." Maybe he'll back off. Do it in that scornful 'when-was-the-last-time-you-said-it' way. Manipulative, yes, but if I had to deal with your father I'd be having a meltdown a day and have full ODD, even conduct disorder by now. |
Well said. 
I notice these things about myself more than I used to--I think it sometimes does come with experience.
However, that doesn't mean I always CARE.  At my job(s), I do my best to "tone down" the "Aspie" things (talking too much/too fast, stims, etc.). At home/with people I'm comfortable around, it doesn't really matter quite as much.
I may still annoy certain people from time to time, but  --I really can't worry too much about that anymore. In personal relationships, it's gotten to the point of "take me as I am, or you're not worth bothering with."
I think you'll get there too. I find that it's a very comfortable place to be.
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The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
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Kalika
Snowy Owl
Joined: Oct 26, 2011
Age: 34
Posts: 153
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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| I did when I was a teen, mainly regarding personal grooming issues........among other things, I had a hard time mastering putting on makeup, and would often have to be told when my lipstick was crooked, I needed to blend in my eyeshadow,.....etc. |
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AspieOtaku
Leader of the Otaku Legion
Joined: Feb 18, 2012
Age: 30
Posts: 5907
Location: Mountain View, California, United States
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 4:46 am Post subject: |
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Repeating myself, not getting a joke right away,issues with eye contact and talking to myself.
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zombiegirl2010
Toucan
Joined: Apr 21, 2012
Age: 34
Posts: 273
Location: edge of sanity and bliss
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Orr wrote: | | Yes. I need things directly pointing out, hints do not work, and if something is not a problem to me I will not address it. |
Same here |
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Bun
Bunnymen
Joined: Jan 09, 2012
Posts: 3250
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 10:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Me, I prefer to have my issues pointed out, and one of the worst insults I got socially was being told 'you don't understand' mockingly when people don't really comprehend it's possible that you don't understand social codes, they just point out that you're really lousy at it. |
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