KnarlyDUDE09
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Age: 17
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Location: London, UK
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 Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 1:18 pm Post subject: Teachers make me move to the front of the class. |
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Hello everyone.
I really hate when a teacher makes me move to a different seat than my usual one- in most of my classes, I sit at the very back because the front makes me feel uncomfortable; at the front I am almost forced to make eye contact with a teacher or at least look at their face. I also like my own space. This happened to me again, today; I was in my chemistry class, and if it wasn't bad enough that we had already changed teachers and moved from our usual classroom to a completely different one,this teacher also made me move from the back seat (which I was very comfortable at) all the way to the front of the class, right next to where she teaches! This happened for no apparent reason, as there were plenty of spaces in the classroom, away from the front...I of course didn't cope with this change well- as usual, I sat there silently, discreetly stimming, with my heartbeat racing. 
So, anyway I just wanted to know if anyone else had ever felt like this or experienced this before? |
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Roman
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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| I usually don't care about these sorts of things. In fact I am probably the opposite -- I tend to be oblivious to details which is why I might do something others find weird which I simply won't pay attention to. |
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KnarlyDUDE09
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Age: 17
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Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Roman wrote: | | I tend to be oblivious to details which is why I might do something others find weird which I simply won't pay attention to. |
I wasn't paying attention either, because I was too busy getting stressed over the fact that I moved seats. |
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Sweetleaf
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Age: 23
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 1:35 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah I remember hating that...I mean I liked sitting in the back because for one then there is no one behind me, which makes me more comfortable and I am certainly not in anyones way. Even when I was going to college I tried getting there early so I could make sure and get a seat in the back with enough room around it.....but when I was late sometimes I had to sit in places I never would have chose to which was rather uncomfortable.
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nebrets
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Posts: 456
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 1:43 pm Post subject: |
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I always wanted to sit in the front and center where I could not see the rest of the class, and was always very frustrated when I was moved away from the front.
Have you asked your teacher to allow you to always have your seat in the back? Perhaps the teacher thinks that you are not listening because you do not look up (this happened to me often) and you could show that to be untrue by showing your notes. |
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KnarlyDUDE09
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Age: 17
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Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 1:57 pm Post subject: |
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| nebrets wrote: | | Perhaps the teacher thinks that you are not listening because you do not look up (this happened to me often) and you could show that to be untrue by showing your notes. |
That happened to me last year in my Physical Education (Gym) theory class, where one of my class mates was talking next to me, and she told us both to move to the front- even though I was not even involved. With this teacher, I told her that I do not feel comfortable at the front and she just yelled at me and said she didn't care how I felt, in front of the whole class. After I sat down, I put my head down and I froze; I didn't move and I didn't speak. She then asked me a question related to the work we had been doing in class, and me being oblivious to what was going on around me because I was so stressed and upset, I didn't answer her question...because of this she had a conversation with me, after class to tell me that she thought I was being very rude and disrespectful.- She clearly misunderstood me, though. |
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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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Age: 50
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Location: Houston, Texas
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Sweetleaf wrote: | | . ...I mean I liked sitting in the back because for one then there is no one behind me, which makes me more comfortable and I am certainly not in anyones way. . . |
I did this when I took a literature this previous Fall at age 48. Frankly, even now, it is good for me to know that no one is staring at me or whispering about me, that no one is looking over my shoulder at my very messy notes where I write down phases which the professor and other students have said, putting down what it reminds me of or vaguely preparing how I might respond and going off on all kinds of tangents, and I try not to talk more than once or twice a class. The main purpose of my messy notes is to keep me alert during the lecture and discussion.
Plus, sitting in the back, I'm participating to a greater or lesser amount, on my own choice, as it feels comfortable to me. |
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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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| KnarlyDUDE09 wrote: | | . . . I told her that I do not feel comfortable at the front and she just yelled at me and said she didn't care how I felt, in front of the whole class. After I sat down, I put my head down and I froze; I didn't move and I didn't speak. She then asked me a question related to the work we had been doing in class, and me being oblivious to what was going on around me because I was so stressed and upset, I didn't answer her question...because of this she had a conversation with me, after class to tell me that she thought I was being very rude and disrespectful.- She clearly misunderstood me, though. |
This is the standard authoritarianism of school. It certainly rubs me the wrong me. I mean, Aspies and authoritarianism is kind of like oil and water. And things do improve in college, although not perfect.
This is something you want to be very strategic about in a proactive way, and it may be a time to play the aspie card if you can do so ahead of time. At a calm moment outside of class, maybe with a school administrator, and maybe also to undo a bad situation.
Now, there was a discussion on 'General Autism Discussion' or 'The Haven' where someone who likes to talk walks was often stopped by the police who treated the person like he was on drugs. And if you merely verbally say, Officer, I'm on the autism spectrum, from the cops perspective, you're basically just a crackhead giving him a line of sh.t. Whereas, if you have a card in your wallet (and if you remove your wallet from your pants in a slow predictable way) which says, 'Please note: This person is on the Asperger's-Autism Spectrum . . . ,' that's likely to be accepted with more respect. Still no guarantees but it puts the odds more in your favor.
Here's an example of one card: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt182828.html
So, if you say something to the teacher at the brink, when the conflict is going on, the teacher is likely to view you through this authoritarian lense, as just a sarcastic student, etc, etc. If you catch the teacher at another time, you have a chance of catching the teacher in the mood of actually being a reasonable human being. A letter from home might help, both because it's from a parent and frankly because it is something written down. |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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I would suggest that you talk to the teacher either before or after class and explain to her that you don't feel comfortable in the front and when you are sitting in the front you have so much anxiety that you really can't pay attention to her because you are focusing on the anxiety.
If you don't feel that you would be comfortable or effective talking to her yourself, I'd say to ask one of your parents to talk to her and explain it. It may carry more weight coming from a parent anyway.
How are your grades in her class usually? Do you usually pay attention and can she tell that you do by your test grades?
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KnarlyDUDE09
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Age: 17
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Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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| OliveOilMom wrote: | | How are your grades in her class usually? Do you usually pay attention and can she tell that you do by your test grades? |
She's not my usual teacher, but I found out today that she'll teaching my class for about 3 weeks more, until my school year finishes. In Chemistry class I do usually pay attention and am usually answering questions that the teacher asks aloud. |
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KnarlyDUDE09
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Age: 17
Posts: 664
Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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| AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote: | if you have a card in your wallet (and if you remove your wallet from your pants in a slow predictable way) which says, 'Please note: This person is on the Asperger's-Autism Spectrum . . . ,' that's likely to be accepted with more respect. Still no guarantees but it puts the odds more in your favor.
Here's an example of one card: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt182828.html |
I too do not have an official diagnosis yet (I have been waiting quite a while now for my assessment), so I wouldn't feel right using those cards yet. Also, I finish school at the end of this month, so I wouldn't really have to deal with teachers/situations like this for much longer. However, when I move to my Sixth Form college, I might think of using those cards, but only after my diagnosis.- Although, I doubt I would have to use those whilst I'm there because they offer help and support for people with Autism Spectrum Disorders etc. there plus, Psychology would be one of my options, so that teacher will probably understand my challenges more. |
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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 5:56 pm Post subject: |
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Congratulations on finishing school in a couple of weeks. 
What if a parent wrote a note to this temp. Chemistry teacher: '______________ is in the process of being diagnosed for autism spectrum and does much better not sitting at the front because ________ [brief one or two item explanation]. What often helps is ___________ [the positive stuff] |
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KnarlyDUDE09
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Age: 17
Posts: 664
Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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| AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote: | Congratulations on finishing school in a couple of weeks.
What if a parent wrote a note to this temp. Chemistry teacher: '______________ is in the process of being diagnosed for autism spectrum and does much better not sitting at the front because ________ [brief one or two item explanation]. What often helps is ___________ [the positive stuff] |
THANKS!- I'm so glad to be finishing soon, however I still have a long way to go until it's all over; I have 8 written exams in the space of about 2 weeks, in about 5 different subjects- one of which I haven't been taught!
...your idea that you mentioned; I might just have to give that one a try- I'll have to ask my mum, though. Although, I don't know if I really want to tell this teacher about my personal life... |
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edgewaters
hibernating
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Age: 40
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Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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Why not invite the teacher here for a chat? There are plenty of intelligent, responsible adults here. There are even a few teachers, I believe.
Last edited by edgewaters on Sat May 05, 2012 7:33 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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KnarlyDUDE09
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Age: 17
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Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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| edgewaters wrote: | | Why not invite the teacher here for a chat? |
That would also be a good idea, however my school doesn't allow pupils and teachers (ex-pupils and ex-teachers, too) to have contact with them outside of school- including the internet...it's a bit stupid, huh? |
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