crmoore
Phoenix
Joined: May 19, 2011
Age: 32
Posts: 573
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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 Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:08 pm Post subject: How on Earth do you approach & talk to women? |
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I'm still stuck with the same problem I've had for as far back as my memory goes: having no freaking clue how to approach and talk to a woman that looks interesting. Even on OKC, I still can't bring myself to message a total stranger. Whoever came up with this social standard that guys had to be the ones to initiate the conversation first should be taken out back and shot.
Does anyone have any (and I do mean ANY) suggestions as to how to approach someone? I guess I'm willing to limit suggestions to online ideas since there's no way in hell I'll meet a woman in public, but I'll take any advice I can get.
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crmoore: accidentally killing WP Forum threads since 2011. |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Just be yourself. |
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ValentineWiggin
Yup.
Joined: May 16, 2011
Posts: 4879
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:21 pm Post subject: |
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I don't. 
Maybe stop thinking of them as a different species?
How would you strike up conversation with a man, for instance? (If you were to.)
Appeal to:
something shared, whether interests, or an event or conversation you were both present for (so and so is sure getting antsy in that there thread- lulz!)
or something about them that seems interesting which you might initiate a dialogue about (I like your avatar- what's it from? Did you make it? Kewl!)
_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest." |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12692
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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| wish i knew. ive tried all the advice ive heard and had nothing. 5 years of trying now. I decided this past weekend to give up approaching women. Already know how it will go so no point in bothering |
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Chummy
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 15, 2010
Posts: 731
Location: Micronesia
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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| If you insist on online dating, find a site for people with disabillities... I know a site that is both for "normal" and "disabled" people though it is not in english. |
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:23 pm Post subject: |
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How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach.
Women aren't that scary or different.
What kind of approaches get you interested in a conversation?
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth.
Last edited by DogsWithoutHorses on Mon May 07, 2012 2:27 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12692
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:23 pm Post subject: |
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| ValentineWiggin wrote: | I don't.
Maybe stop thinking of them as a different species?
How would you strike up conversation with a man, for instance? (If you were to.)
Appeal to:
something shared, whether interests, or an event or conversation you were both present for (so and so is sure getting antsy in that there thread- lulz!)
or something about them that seems interesting which you might initiate a dialogue about (I like your avatar- what's it from? Did you make it? Kewl!) |
im quite sure the way you strike a conversation with a guy is not how you do with a girl (unless you like getting slapped) |
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Kurgan
I'm always right
Joined: Apr 07, 2012
Age: 24
Posts: 1851
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:27 pm Post subject: |
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| DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach. |
So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention? |
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ValentineWiggin
Yup.
Joined: May 16, 2011
Posts: 4879
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:28 pm Post subject: |
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| MXH wrote: | | ValentineWiggin wrote: | I don't.
Maybe stop thinking of them as a different species?
How would you strike up conversation with a man, for instance? (If you were to.)
Appeal to:
something shared, whether interests, or an event or conversation you were both present for (so and so is sure getting antsy in that there thread- lulz!)
or something about them that seems interesting which you might initiate a dialogue about (I like your avatar- what's it from? Did you make it? Kewl!) |
im quite sure the way you strike a conversation with a guy is not how you do with a girl (unless you like getting slapped) |
How is it different? You speak to people differently based on their sex?
DWH and I are both women, you know...
_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."
Last edited by ValentineWiggin on Mon May 07, 2012 2:29 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Zinia
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 23, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 344
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:28 pm Post subject: |
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I think one of the easiest ways to start a conversation with anyone is to ask them a question. If you also compliment them, then that's usually a good thing too as it's nice.
There's a thread in this forum called something like "date the person below you" (I can't remember the exact name)--and it's like an exercise for online dating. I just tried it and it's funny and hard, but it requires asking a fictional person a question. |
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Kurgan wrote: | | DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach. |
So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention? |
If they mention those interest on their profile, sure.
Not all men are into those things either.
If he has no interests in common with her he shouldn't be concerned about approaching her at all.
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth. |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12692
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Kurgan wrote: | | DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach. |
So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention? |
Case in point. Most ways guys start convos are things most women will not care for. And are also things that would not make you come across as someone interested and rather some anoying passerby. |
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ValentineWiggin
Yup.
Joined: May 16, 2011
Posts: 4879
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:30 pm Post subject: |
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| MXH wrote: | | Kurgan wrote: | | DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach. |
So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention? |
Case in point. Most ways guys start convos are things most women will not care for. And are also things that would not make you come across as someone interested and rather some anoying passerby. |
Could you be any more ambiguous?
How do "most guys" start conversations?
How do "most women" prefer a conversation to be started?
~leans chin on hands~
_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest." |
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ValentineWiggin
Yup.
Joined: May 16, 2011
Posts: 4879
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:32 pm Post subject: |
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| DogsWithoutHorses wrote: |
If he has no interests in common with her he shouldn't be concerned about approaching her at all. |
Exactly. Wondering up to random strangers is of course intimidating, for the same reason it's freaking weird:
you know absolutely nothing about the person on which to start a conversation.
_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest." |
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| Back to top |
|
Kurgan
I'm always right
Joined: Apr 07, 2012
Age: 24
Posts: 1851
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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| DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | Kurgan wrote: | | DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach. |
So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention? |
If they mention those interest on their profile, sure.
Not all men are into those things either.
If he has no interests in common with her he shouldn't be concerned about approaching her at all. |
Most men have few interests in common with their significant others, apart from a few key interests. Very few women are interested in soccer, cars, muscle building or video games, but most men are interested in one of these examples.
As far as online dating goes, whenever a girl hits on me, she hasn't even read my profile text. |
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