| Do you need details on most everything? |
| Yes |
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88% |
[ 71 ] |
| No |
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7% |
[ 6 ] |
| Undecided/Just show results |
|
3% |
[ 3 ] |
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| Total Votes : 80 |
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yellowtamarin
Elephant Shrew
Joined: Sep 06, 2010
Age: 32
Posts: 1517
Location: Victoria, Australia
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 Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 2:55 am Post subject: |
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| YellowBanana wrote: | | And whilst I'm here ... Does anyone have a problem when a friend/acquaintance/colleague says "just pop in whenever". What the heck does that mean? How am I supposed to know when will be convenient or inconvenient for them? Give me a damn day and time please - how difficult is that to do ... |
Aarghh!!!! (yes) |
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fragileclover
Velociraptor
Joined: May 22, 2009
Posts: 496
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 3:08 am Post subject: |
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| yellowtamarin wrote: | | YellowBanana wrote: | | And whilst I'm here ... Does anyone have a problem when a friend/acquaintance/colleague says "just pop in whenever". What the heck does that mean? How am I supposed to know when will be convenient or inconvenient for them? Give me a damn day and time please - how difficult is that to do ... |
Aarghh!!!! (yes) |
I have a friend who asks me to come visit her frequently, and when I ask when I should come by, she says: any time, I'm always here.
I've never gone to visit her. Sorry, if you don't give me a day and time, it isn't happening. I can't just show up!
_________________
Aspie Quiz: AS - 141/200, NT - 77/200 (Very likely an Aspie)
AQ: 34/50 (Aspie range)
EQ: 32 / SQ: 68 (Extreme Systemizing / AS or HFA)
Diagnosed with AS and Anxiety Disorder - NOS on 03/21/2012 |
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Verdandi
Miss Kitty Fantastico
Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 10191
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 3:13 am Post subject: |
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| btbnnyr wrote: | | I need to know all of the details of what I am going to do, so I can make a clearstalcrys video in my mind of what I am going to do, so I can do it when I need to do it. |
^^^
This is it very succintly.
When I don't know everything about something, I develop anxiety about the parts I do not know. |
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J4mes
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 01, 2012
Posts: 54
Location: Essex, England
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 3:31 am Post subject: |
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I like to be well-informed too, I usually have a rough idea of what I'm going to do on a day otherwise I just procrastinate and never actually get anything done. So if something needs to go into my schedule I'll need the details.
Funnily enough it was a situation like this that contributed to me joining this forum; my Mum announced at 10am that we were all going out for lunch in the afternoon, now I hadn't planned on doing much that day but I had some stuff to get done and to be told that I had to do something else at such short notice actually made me quite angry. I know it shouldn't have but that's just the way my brain reacted. Now if I'd had a couple of days notice it would have been absolutely fine! |
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Who_Am_I
almost human
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Age: 29
Posts: 10526
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 3:57 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I do.
"We're going to sort out your stuff" is, from my perspective, extremely vague.
And, considering how much I hate people touching my possessions, would most likely be responded to with "I am going to change the locks and buy an attack dog and build a moat."
_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I !!!!
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I |
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his_mom
Hummingbird
Joined: May 06, 2012
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 12:11 pm Post subject: |
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I hope that you all don't get frustrated with my, seemingly, ridiculous questions. I am just trying to understand my son as much as possible. It is hard at times and I know that he gets frustrated with me when I just "don't get it".
Again, all of your responses are so helpful and it's actually uncanny how I have heard him express the same concerns that you have expressed in your posts.
He has told me, time and time again, that we just don't understand how many things are going through his head constantly. Whenever I (or anyone else) try to make plans with him, it simply makes his head spiral and he wants to know every little detail possible. I have explained to him that some details cannot be known.
The reason why I wanted to help him clean up his house was because he was consistently telling me that the clutter accumulated was causing him added stress and anxiety. Over the period of several meltdowns, he had basically destroyed much of his furniture and there was shattered glass and debris from broken items throughout the house. Prior to that, I had always respected his privacy and avoided going into his home.
It was quite an experience as we went through some of the items he had acquired over the years. He wanted to keep all of the broken wood because it could be used for something. I was able to convince him that the splintered wood could hurt his dogs and he agreed to get rid of most of it. There were at least 7 television sets that were broken in one way or another and I really wanted to discard as many of those as possible, however, he insisted on keeping them because he could fix them or use the parts to fix the others. This all sounded very logical to me, however, they have been in the house for years now, untouched. Of course, I respected his desire to hang on to them.
This is how he has been since he was a child with his own room. To me, the room was a disaster with things strewn all over the place. However, while he was in school, if I allowed the cleaning woman to do some light housekeeping in his room (dusting, vacuuming, etc), he would know it immediately and simply go ballistic saying that she "moved everything and now he couldn't find it". At the time, I simply thought that he was acting spoiled and unreasonable. Now I understand and feel horrible that I did not know how he felt back then.
I guess that my biggest worry about this necessity to hang on to stuff is that, at some point when can it be considered hoarding? The thought of someone condemning his home really makes me worry about what effect that might have on him.
By the way, after we 'straightened up' the downstairs he thanked me several times and told me that it did actually make him feel better. |
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his_mom
Hummingbird
Joined: May 06, 2012
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 12:19 pm Post subject: |
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| By the way, I am unable to see the results of the poll. Can anyone else see the results? |
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AspieOtaku
Leader of the Otaku Legion
Joined: Feb 18, 2012
Age: 30
Posts: 5893
Location: Mountain View, California, United States
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 12:26 pm Post subject: |
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Goodness gracious yes, otherwise I wont be 100% sure I have received the correct information. I want to know the details on everything so I can understand better and not have a awkward moment.
_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
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You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? http://www.anime44.com/anime-list |
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ghoti
out of water
Joined: May 05, 2012
Age: 45
Posts: 1312
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 12:31 pm Post subject: |
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| his_mom wrote: | | By the way, I am unable to see the results of the poll. Can anyone else see the results? |
so far:
Yes 94% [ 32 ]
No 5% [ 2 ] |
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his_mom
Hummingbird
Joined: May 06, 2012
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 12:48 pm Post subject: |
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| ghoti wrote: | | his_mom wrote: | | By the way, I am unable to see the results of the poll. Can anyone else see the results? |
so far:
Yes 94% [ 32 ]
No 5% [ 2 ] |
Thank you so much! I have clicked on the "see results" tab which does nothing for me. Is there something else I need to do in order to see the results? |
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Ann2011
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2011
Posts: 1514
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 12:49 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't find anything odd about your son's requests. I would want to know the same things. Especially if we were going through my things; I can't tolerate other people going through my things. My room looks like a big mess to others, but I know exactly where everything is and where to find it. |
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annotated_alice
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Posts: 770
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 1:01 pm Post subject: |
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| YES. As much detail as possible please, for myself and my sons. So if I could have voted 3 times yes I would have. Knowing what to expect as much as possible is essential for being comfortable and calm. |
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SteelMaiden
There's no place like 127.0.0.1
Joined: Aug 20, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 2636
Location: Rosehill, Greater London
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 1:04 pm Post subject: |
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I have to know every detail before I'm happy about something. Otherwise I get anxious.
_________________
I have Asperger's, schizophrenia, and OCD.
Am obsessed about psychopharmacology.
Currently a part-time pharmacology student at University College London. |
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enrico_dandolo
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 21, 2011
Posts: 866
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 1:37 pm Post subject: |
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| YellowBanana wrote: | | And whilst I'm here ... Does anyone have a problem when a friend/acquaintance/colleague says "just pop in whenever". What the heck does that mean? How am I supposed to know when will be convenient or inconvenient for them? Give me a damn day and time please - how difficult is that to do ... |
When people say that, I give them a time myself.
"Just pop in whenever.
-- OK, I'll be there at 10:30." |
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OddDuckNash99
Hypercoaster
Joined: Nov 16, 2006
Posts: 2527
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 1:50 pm Post subject: |
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I need an excessive amount of detail. It's a combination of intense curiosity/need to know and how I'm able to best calm myself. Uncertainty drives me crazy. I worry and worry and worry.
_________________
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Nash: Recognition...
Helinger: Well, try seeing accomplishment!
Nash: Is there a difference? |
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