The-Raven
Phoenix
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Joined: May 01, 2011
Posts: 762
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 Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 7:17 am Post subject: |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: | | Wolfheart wrote: |
Fit in what aspect? Sure, they may be able to compete in sports such as power lifting or some form of dance but I think you would be hard pressed to find a sprinter or an endurance athlete that is fat. |
not many people in general could be endurance athletes or sprinters, whether they are fat or thin. so that's not a good example. a person can be very fit and still fat, but like most of the world they will probably not enter the Olympics.
i think you are unaware of how hard it is to dance |
I'm not saying everyone has to train their body to a high standard to be considered healthy, for some people, a couple of low intensity sessions of running and a healthy diet may be enough. People need to find out what's right for them and if they can handle it physically, as well as mentally. Of course, not everyone has the capacity to be a world class athlete or at the level of one.
I don't think it is good to promote obesity however and I think the US and the UK definitely need to reform on this issue.
| Quote: | “Take obesity: it already costs our NHS a staggering £4 billion a year. But within four years, that figure’s expected to rise to £6.3 billion.” David Cameron, 16 May 2011.
Last week David Cameron delivered a speech outlining the Government's continued commitment to the reform of the NHS, laying out some of the reasons he believed justified and necessitated the reforms
High and growing levels of obesity in the UK, and the associated health costs, was one such reason he highlighted. With the NHS facing growing costs from treating patients with obesity linked conditions, Mr Cameron said that the NHS had to focus on efficiency and reduce management costs. |
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Wolfheart, I would like to see you inject oestrogen at the levels Hyperlexian has in her blood and see if it effects how easy you find it to keep fat off. Womens hormones are catabolic and break down muscle and build fat (unlike mens anabolic hormones which break down fat and build muscle) so it is much harder for women to keep weight off, especially harder than for a six foot plus bloke who is going to be able to eat loads comparatively. Also womens lifestyles of being in charge of the majority of childcare and house work tends to be prohibitive on spending vast amounts of time exercising compared to single 22 year old men who have relatively unencumbered lifestyles with more free time and less commitments.
when you get a partner and have children will you dump her when she cant keep up with your lifestyle because she is pregnant or having to look after a small baby or several small children? I think you will find as you get older and have more commitments in your life that you have to lower your high standards of what you expect from yourself and other people. |
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JanuaryMan
Aspierational
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 2624
Location: Hants, UK
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 7:32 am Post subject: |
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After rereading the thread (boy there's a lot of new posts!) will agree there's a difference between being big and beautiful (or a few extra pounds) and being morbidly obese. A medical definition of obese might not always mean the person is "fat", and are just heavier than what is suggested by all the medical boffins. Plenty of attractive people that fall into this category 
I like to think the person I fell for, though, would be both the personality and the physical side of the person. A guy or girl that goes "oh im taken now i dont need to worry he / she loves me om nom nom" is not admirable. Nor is someone using the manipulative term "would you love me no matter what?" without saying what that what is when there's particularly something specific in their mind, like not looking after their health, bad displays of character, secrets of things you disapprove of that the keep from you to stay in the relationship (like cheating, conflicting views on life decisions etc.).
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"A man is but the product of his thoughts - what he thinks, he becomes." - Mahatma Gandhi |
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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 7:38 am Post subject: |
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| It's your duty as a human being and to your partner to make an effort. |
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hanyo
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Posts: 3566
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 7:57 am Post subject: |
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I wouldn't say anyone should be with someone that they don't want to be with (they shouldn't and it would only cause misery for one or both partners) but I'd feel like someone dumping me for something like that would be like saying "I only want you if you are perfect and if you are unwilling or unable to be perfect then too bad, I don't want you."
I personally would have a very hard time changing my eating/exercise habits if I could even do it at all so I'd feel like I was being left over something that was out of my control. I'm not sure if I would be considered "fat" but I'm 5'8" and 180 pounds which is the most I've ever weighed in my life. When I was younger I was thin but it was just the way I naturally was and not because I ate healthy or exercised because I didn't. |
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9of47
Raven
Joined: Aug 27, 2010
Posts: 117
Location: Body in Melbourne, mind is far beyond the stars
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 8:07 am Post subject: |
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| I think the problem is not just whether or not you'll stay with someone who's changed for the worst but whether there are reasons behind it which would reasonably cause such a change on that scale. For example if a hypothetical partner (single atm) lost or gained a bit of weight from being stressed about family or friends, I wouldn't just go up and leave them. If they got let go from their job and had developed mental health issues leading up to it I wouldn't force them to find another job straightaway. If they became fat due to wanting to eat mcdonalds all day or wanted to become a dole-bludger then I'd leave them. |
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keira
Still not a morning person
Joined: Feb 17, 2011
Age: 29
Posts: 4331
Location: misplaced
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 8:10 am Post subject: Re: Would you dump someone who got fat? |
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| sluice wrote: | Would you continue dating someone who put on a bunch of weight after you got involved with them?
What about some other change like lost employment, committing a non-violent crime, crippled in
an accident? |
If I had a strong psychological and/or emotional connection with that person, yes I would. Although, if I couldn't connect with the person, I wouldn't continue dating him anyway. So I guess, my answer is that those reasons would not influence my decision.
| Quote: | | Should you feel obligated to still stick with someone if that person dramatically changes from the person you first met? |
It depends on the change. If it's physical, well we'll all get old and ugly. It doesn't matter much. However, if that person became aggressive, disrespectful or addicted to something beyond hope or help, I would move on. Otherwise, I have a very strong sense of loyalty, respect and responsibility. I think too many people get involved too carelessly and give up too easily.
On the side note, I don't think that people change dramatically that often. More often people just pretend to be someone they think their partner wants them to be or try to play a certain role of a "good girlfriend/wife" or "good boyfriend/husband" they've created in their minds, especially at the beginning of the relationship. It's simply the true face coming out after a while, not the dramatic changes happening.
However, that pretending is not always intentionally deceitful. I find that a lot of people don't know themselves well enough, so they can't really be true and natural with other people either. |
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RightGalaxy
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 22, 2008
Posts: 1497
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 8:55 am Post subject: |
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| If you feel as though you will change toward them because of their change or changes, you'll be doing them a favor to break up with them. They will pick up on your misery and you'll only depress them even more. Set them free to find another love - you're just simply not deep enough to see beyond the obvious. How would you feel if someone felt "obligated" to stay with "you"? Maybe that's why people get fat in relationships. The eating helps them tolerate a relationship they'd rather not be in. Like a coyote chewing off it's own arm to get out of a trap. |
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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 9:12 am Post subject: |
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| Oh ffs. |
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blueroses
restless, but going nowhere
Joined: Feb 11, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 1627
Location: Lancaster, PA
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 9:25 am Post subject: Re: Would you dump someone who got fat? |
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| sluice wrote: | Would you continue dating someone who put on a bunch of weight after you got involved with them?
What about some other change like lost employment, committing a non-violent crime, crippled in
an accident? |
I have in the past and would in the future, with a possible exception on the crime part. (To me, it depends on what the crime was). Actually, in one circumstance, I stuck by a guy who was a former athlete, then (a) lost his job and (b) gained a lot of weight when he was (c) injured in an accident and not able to be as physically active anymore. (The Trifecta! lol)
When it comes to relationships, I give a lot and expect a lot in return. To me, if you aren't going to enter into a relationship with a willingness to make an earnest effort to make things work, even when circumstances aren't perfect and people are human, then I don't see the point of bothering at all. |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 9:51 am Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: |
you are not basing that on any actual evidence or statistics. if you look at the reasons why couples divorce, lost money and lost looks are not commonly cited. |
I would hazard a guess as to why: People lie about their reasons so as not to appear shallow. Instead they use hollow phrases like "The spark just isn't there anymore" or "I need space". Something similar anyway.
Guys go after girls because they find them attractive, Girls go after guys for financial reasons. We are already starting to see Women with good jobs going after schlubby, no ambition having, loser guys because they find them attractive, and at the same time seeing guys going after women who make way more money than them.
I'm not saying that there isn't such a thing as genuine affection.. just that I don't think you can completely rule out Looks & Fiscal status as actual reasons why people break up..
For what it's worth, If we were dating, and she put on 5-10lbs I wouldn't.. Maybe not even 20lbs.. If she put on 30-50.. Probably. If we were married, I doubt it. It is hard to say. But I definitely don't find morbidly obese people attractive at all, and have no desire to be intimate with some one who is. Of course I also don't find older people attractive at all and have no desire to be intimate with the. But if I've made a choice to marry some one, chances are I'll stick by that choice regardless, since that is the whole point.
Last edited by rabbittss on Fri May 11, 2012 10:06 am; edited 1 time in total |
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mv
Protector of the Realm
Joined: Jun 18, 2010
Posts: 3131
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 10:04 am Post subject: |
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| The-Raven wrote: | Wolfheart, I would like to see you inject oestrogen at the levels Hyperlexian has in her blood and see if it effects how easy you find it to keep fat off. Womens hormones are catabolic and break down muscle and build fat (unlike mens anabolic hormones which break down fat and build muscle) so it is much harder for women to keep weight off, especially harder than for a six foot plus bloke who is going to be able to eat loads comparatively. Also womens lifestyles of being in charge of the majority of childcare and house work tends to be prohibitive on spending vast amounts of time exercising compared to single 22 year old men who have relatively unencumbered lifestyles with more free time and less commitments.
when you get a partner and have children will you dump her when she cant keep up with your lifestyle because she is pregnant or having to look after a small baby or several small children? I think you will find as you get older and have more commitments in your life that you have to lower your high standards of what you expect from yourself and other people. |
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mv
Protector of the Realm
Joined: Jun 18, 2010
Posts: 3131
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 10:05 am Post subject: |
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| rabbittss wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
you are not basing that on any actual evidence or statistics. if you look at the reasons why couples divorce, lost money and lost looks are not commonly cited. |
I would hazard a guess as to why: People lie about their reasons so as not to appear shallow. Instead they use hollow phrases like "The spark just isn't there anymore" or "I need space". Something similar anyway.
Guys go after girls because they find them attractive, Girls go after guys for financial reasons. We are already starting to see Women with good jobs going after schlubby, no ambition having, loser guys because they find them attractive, and at the same time seeing guys going after women who make way more money than them.
I'm not saying that there isn't such a thing as genuine affection.. just that I don't think you can completely rule out Looks & Fiscal status as actual reasons why people break up..
For what it's worth, If we were dating, and she put on 5-10lbs I wouldn't.. Maybe not even 20lbs.. If she put on 30-50.. Probably. If we were married, I doubt it. It is hard to say. But I definitely don't find morbidly obese people attractive at all, and have no desire to be intimate with some one who is. |
I see, would those be financial reasons, then? |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 10:11 am Post subject: |
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| mv wrote: | | rabbittss wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
you are not basing that on any actual evidence or statistics. if you look at the reasons why couples divorce, lost money and lost looks are not commonly cited. |
I would hazard a guess as to why: People lie about their reasons so as not to appear shallow. Instead they use hollow phrases like "The spark just isn't there anymore" or "I need space". Something similar anyway.
Guys go after girls because they find them attractive, Girls go after guys for financial reasons. We are already starting to see Women with good jobs going after schlubby, no ambition having, loser guys because they find them attractive, and at the same time seeing guys going after women who make way more money than them.
I'm not saying that there isn't such a thing as genuine affection.. just that I don't think you can completely rule out Looks & Fiscal status as actual reasons why people break up..
For what it's worth, If we were dating, and she put on 5-10lbs I wouldn't.. Maybe not even 20lbs.. If she put on 30-50.. Probably. If we were married, I doubt it. It is hard to say. But I definitely don't find morbidly obese people attractive at all, and have no desire to be intimate with some one who is. |
I see, would those be financial reasons, then? |
Uhh no you missed the point I think. I was illustrating how times are changing and ambitious, financially secure women, are now going after guys only based on looks, just the way many men go after women. |
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hanyo
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Posts: 3566
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 10:18 am Post subject: |
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| rabbittss wrote: |
Guys go after girls because they find them attractive, Girls go after guys for financial reasons. We are already starting to see Women with good jobs going after schlubby, no ambition having, loser guys because they find them attractive, and at the same time seeing guys going after women who make way more money than them. |
I understood what you meant.
I personally never cared about financial stuff though and always went by looks and whether I liked them and never cared about things like whether they had money or a job.
I remember once my friend's boyfriend was trying to set me up with his friend and told me "he owns his house". I was like "so what, I don't care". I still don't see why that would be something that would matter to me unless I was looking for someone to mooch off of or maybe I would take it as a sign that they wouldn't try to mooch off of me.
My two boyfriends I had as a teenager were pretty much penniless unemployed bums. |
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mv
Protector of the Realm
Joined: Jun 18, 2010
Posts: 3131
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 10:20 am Post subject: |
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| rabbittss wrote: | | mv wrote: | | rabbittss wrote: | | hyperlexian wrote: |
you are not basing that on any actual evidence or statistics. if you look at the reasons why couples divorce, lost money and lost looks are not commonly cited. |
I would hazard a guess as to why: People lie about their reasons so as not to appear shallow. Instead they use hollow phrases like "The spark just isn't there anymore" or "I need space". Something similar anyway.
Guys go after girls because they find them attractive, Girls go after guys for financial reasons. We are already starting to see Women with good jobs going after schlubby, no ambition having, loser guys because they find them attractive, and at the same time seeing guys going after women who make way more money than them.
I'm not saying that there isn't such a thing as genuine affection.. just that I don't think you can completely rule out Looks & Fiscal status as actual reasons why people break up..
For what it's worth, If we were dating, and she put on 5-10lbs I wouldn't.. Maybe not even 20lbs.. If she put on 30-50.. Probably. If we were married, I doubt it. It is hard to say. But I definitely don't find morbidly obese people attractive at all, and have no desire to be intimate with some one who is. |
I see, would those be financial reasons, then? |
Uhh no you missed the point I think. I was illustrating how times are changing and ambitious, financially secure women, are now going after guys only based on looks, just the way many men go after women. |
Nope, make no mistake, I got what you meant. I just found it hilarious. |
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