Late Bloomer

NeantHumain · Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 9:36 pm Post subject:

Does anyone else feel that they "bloomed" too late? Compared to others my age and of comparable intelligence, I picked up the social skills I have now much, much later. I am probably at least ten years behind in most social developmental milestones. Through most of college, I was a loner and definitely not by choice; my attempts at making friends largely failed, and I was left utterly isolated and miserable on campus. Afterwards, I was able to get a job as a computer programmer and constant persistence in trying to meet people from freshman year of college on has paid off in improved social skills, or at least I am certainly able to be more outgoing (if not more socially graceful) than even many NTs. Still, new social opportunities seem to be much harder to come by once a person hits their mid-twenties: Most of one's coworkers are married with children and do not socialize with each other outside work. Most other people my age are by now married and often with a kid or two or at least settled into a long-term, stable relationship. I find it hard to "break in" to a good social circle, and it doesn't seem like any amount of effort yields tangible gains. It may also hurt that I live in the suburbs of the Midwestern U.S. city of St. Louis, Missouri, so perhaps the local social dynamic is less forgiving than a more dynamic, youthful city.