Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8249
Location: Great Britain
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 Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 11:26 am Post subject: |
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I feel I need to better my vocabulary in order to fit in. I sound so dumb that nobody bothers to listen to me. A few weeks ago in the bus station, the bus came and sat at the entrance of the bus station, and wouldn't move, even though it was supposed to let all the passengers on and left the bus station five minutes ago. The passengers were wondering what was going on, and I was standing next to a couple of old ladies and I tutted and said, ''the bus came there OK''. It sort of made sense but sounded so basic, but one of the other ladies put it better when she heard me and said, ''yeah, it pulled in all right.'' I wanted to word it like that, but I couldn't at the time. Probably because my vocabulary isn't very good, so I use the very basic words and just string them together to make a very simple sentence.
And this is not associated with social phobia or any speech delays because I can't even find better words when I'm talking to people as close as my family. The other day I was talking to my cousin about my sinus issues, and I said, ''I was born with small sinus things'', and my cousin said, ''you mean sinus tubes that lead to your ears and throat?'' and I was like, ''yeah, that's it.''
God, I sound so dumb!
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From: East UK
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nessa238
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 02, 2011
Age: 47
Posts: 3727
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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I don't dumb my language down and don't care if it alienates people. I enjoy using proper grammar etc to show them up in fact. I think language is a great signifier of what a person is like so that a person who can't be bothered to use proper grammar, spelling etc almost certainly has the same attitude to a lot of other areas of their life ie they aren't precise, they don't care about detail; they don't want to do things 'properly' in other words - they're more invested in fitting in and being thought cool. I don't relate to this type of person at all so the sooner we both realise we're incompatible the better as far as I'm concerned.
No way am I going to act dumb to impress a dumb person - what do I stand to gain by it??
Certainly not intellectual stimulation. |
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Oldout
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 10, 2012
Posts: 1539
Location: Reading, PA
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 1:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Dumbing down might be how you view it. But the reality is your are adjusting your language so that it can be understood by the natives. In a way you are actually being polite. |
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nessa238
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 02, 2011
Age: 47
Posts: 3727
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 1:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Oldout wrote: | | Dumbing down might be how you view it. But the reality is your are adjusting your language so that it can be understood by the natives. In a way you are actually being polite. |
I would say I speak in a clear manner and am more than happy to explain if someone doesn't understand what I mean. It's all the jardon and slag I cut out which I would say improves the
clarity of what I say.
To me, a lot of conversation seems to be all about sending cliches back and forth so that both sides feel at ease. If you intreoduce even the smallest hint of intelelctual enquiry or analysis or knowledge into the conversation the other person positively recoils as that is not their intent in conversing - they want to just exchange comforting ritualistic sounds as opposed to actually learning anything new or interesting. Gossip might come into it and new facts but on no account must any higher level thinking come into it to the extent that you might analyse anything in any depth.
Conversation is mainly anti-intellectual from my observations.
I find it all incredibly frustrating. It's like junk food for the brain.
I can talk in a general "So he said then she said" type manner, I just don't tend to use slang
For example on a dating site I'm on someone has said today 'So were you born, bred and fed in *********?' (the town I live in)
I've never heard this phrase before and can only assume it's some kind of cliche phrase people use to say 'so did you grow up in this place as well as being born there'. I can't convey to you how much the phrase makes me cringe - it's utterly abhorrent to me! It makes me almost hate the person for using it! It's utterly said for effect and not for informational content. It's a nothing phrase devoid of intelligence or enquiring mindset! I despise it utterly for what it represents!
Yes I realise I have a bit of an obsession about peoples' language useage but that's how I am.
It means the people I get to know tend not to be idiots who just mindlessly regurgitate the stock off the shelf phrases of those they mix with. |
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legomyego
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Apr 01, 2012
Posts: 176
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 1:51 pm Post subject: |
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ya i used to when i was a kid and instead made lots of pranks...but that ended up in trouble usually...so eventually i stopped.
now i just dont talk much. |
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2wheels4ever
Just Another Weirdo From L.A.
Joined: May 04, 2012
Age: 41
Posts: 1338
Location: Losing status at the high school
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 4:08 pm Post subject: |
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| nessa238 wrote: |
I find it all incredibly frustrating. It's like junk food for the brain.
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Especially when the NTs live on Fakebook and reality shows
| legomyego wrote: | ya i used to when i was a kid and instead made lots of pranks...but that ended up in trouble usually...so eventually i stopped.
now i just dont talk much. |
Between me being like that and my intense dislike for the vapid same old stuff people seem to be enthralled with, I tend to stick to phrases like 'how much is that, what time do you close, and what do you want for dinner?" |
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Blownmind
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 19, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 823
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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| kBillingsley wrote: | | Considering the infinitely vast amount of information available in the universe and how little of it is known by the combined minds of all the humans who ever lived, the difference between what a "dumb" person knows and what a "smart" person knows is extremely small. I find the notion of fighting over who owns more of a grain of sand in a whole desert thereof, to be inconceivably petty. |
While this is correct, I believe people here are talking about a conversation with another person, in which the only relevant knowledge is the combined of the two or more in said conversation. Therefore all the information in the universe is irrelevant, and the difference between the two(or more) are whats considered.
With that said, I usually keep my thoughts to myself. I spend too much pondering the right way to form a sentence(while in a group conversation), that when I eventually get it all figured out, the topic has changed.
A wise woman once told me; "A real intelligent person will make others feel intelligent."
There is something to that. When you dumb yourself down, you make them feel smarter, and therefore they leave with a feeling of a successful conversation, and they will like you for it.
I lose respect for people I consider (in lack of a better word, and for consistency with this topic) "dumb". Sadly this has happened with my shrink(among others), who told me in our first session that she wasn't that steady in english(when I showed her some symptoms I had noticed and printed out). That just made me feel sorry for her, since much research material are written in english, and it told me she wasn't very updated when it came to Aspergers(or other conditions for that matter).
But then again, I have realized I'm not normal, I'm apparently weird according to the "normal" humans. NTs will mostly like you for dumbing yourself down, but some people might lose respect for you. I find it best to shut up instead of dumbing down.
_________________
AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200 |
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btbnnyr
Rabbit In Cat's Clothing
Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 3112
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 11:04 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't dumb down or up or any other way. I just talk normally for me. I don't think that I use a lot of big words or great grammar in conversation. |
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Tollorin
Lazy Cat
Joined: Jun 15, 2009
Age: 31
Posts: 1637
Location: Sherbrooke,Québec, Canada
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 12:44 am Post subject: |
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| Joe90 wrote: | I feel I need to better my vocabulary in order to fit in. I sound so dumb that nobody bothers to listen to me. A few weeks ago in the bus station, the bus came and sat at the entrance of the bus station, and wouldn't move, even though it was supposed to let all the passengers on and left the bus station five minutes ago. The passengers were wondering what was going on, and I was standing next to a couple of old ladies and I tutted and said, ''the bus came there OK''. It sort of made sense but sounded so basic, but one of the other ladies put it better when she heard me and said, ''yeah, it pulled in all right.'' I wanted to word it like that, but I couldn't at the time. Probably because my vocabulary isn't very good, so I use the very basic words and just string them together to make a very simple sentence.
And this is not associated with social phobia or any speech delays because I can't even find better words when I'm talking to people as close as my family. The other day I was talking to my cousin about my sinus issues, and I said, ''I was born with small sinus things'', and my cousin said, ''you mean sinus tubes that lead to your ears and throat?'' and I was like, ''yeah, that's it.''
God, I sound so dumb! |
Your vocabulary it seem is okay when you writing though. |
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Verdandi
Miss Kitty Fantastico
Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 10193
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 5:29 am Post subject: |
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| Oldout wrote: | | Dumbing down might be how you view it. But the reality is your are adjusting your language so that it can be understood by the natives. In a way you are actually being polite. |
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code-switching |
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vanhalenkurtz
Velociraptor
Joined: May 10, 2012
Posts: 460
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 6:02 am Post subject: |
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Words are my best friends. Of course all words have been there yet new sentences are possible using old words - or rather, words most people read/hear in familiar ways even if there is unfamiliar intent inside the sentence. Wittgensteinland. I have been admired 10% ridiculed 90% for "vocab building" almost half a century now. No doubt, when authority people hear words they do not understand, they get unhappy quick. My theory: "nonsense" is linguistic white noise - people generally pull meaning from themselves when unable to extract familiarity from foreign expressions. Calm people hear "poetry" in nonsense, hostile people hear hostility. Few people understand me. It's taken many years to get comfortable with that. Words understand me. Of course if the building is on fire, one word is all anyone requires. That's dumbing down strategically.
_________________
ASQ: 45. RAADS-R: 229.
BAP: 132 aloof, 132 rigid, 104 pragmatic.
Aspie score: 173 / 200.
NT score: 33 / 200.
EQ: 6. |
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2wheels4ever
Just Another Weirdo From L.A.
Joined: May 04, 2012
Age: 41
Posts: 1338
Location: Losing status at the high school
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 9:26 am Post subject: |
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| vanhalenkurtz wrote: | | . No doubt, when authority people hear words they do not understand, they get unhappy quick. |
Speaking for myself that has brought on painful consequences when I spoke the way I felt natural and the grown folks accused my 6 year old self of being a smartass. I notice a similar but not as harsh effect when I give advice to a more casual sharer of my interests, once I had a quasi-gf that, if not for the jargon-ese would probably now be part of making my world a happier place |
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