NTAndrew
Toucan
Joined: Jan 19, 2012
Posts: 280
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 Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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I got "yelled at" on line and I have been a little leery of going back to Facebook since then.
People can be quite cruel when they don't have to face you. |
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Tamsin
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 19, 2011
Posts: 308
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Bloodheart wrote: | Yup.
I used to be far better online than I am now, it seems these days I find it harder to cultivate friendships online - I do also get severe anxiety communicating online. I find myself editing and re-editing to the point of frustrating myself, deleting comments and updates, making posts then never returning to see how people reply, and generally getting very anxious about possible negative/critical responses, getting into discussions, or just getting the wrong idea and saying something stupid.
I remember once upon a time when I wasn't this anxious about talking online *sigh* |
Agreed. 10-odd years ago I loved communicating with others over the internet. AIM, e-mail, PM's, all of that, but now it's hard for me even to post here. Most of the time I have something I want to say, so I type it out, and then re-read it and edit it, and then decide it's stupid or doesn't add to the conversation, so then I delete it. Same with FB. I hardly ever post there anymore, and often when I do I end up deleting whatever I managed to post. Or, if nobody responds, I get upset because clearly everybody hates me and thinks I'm an idiot, so then I stop going to various sites for weeks to months until the "uproar" dies down, because I'm convinced that everybody is talking about me in private.
Now I can barely be bothered to post anywhere anymore unless somebody is asking a question that I know the answer too. Questions are always easier to reply to. |
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2wheels4ever
Just Another Weirdo From L.A.
Joined: May 04, 2012
Age: 41
Posts: 1339
Location: Losing status at the high school
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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Before I gave up on POF (I should know better, they're all really that shallow) I skimmed 10s of 1000s of profiles, read something interesting enough to send 100s of cold contacts, got maybe 30 replies, of which 1/2 were anything beyond that, and out of all that, I got 1 phone # that I texted for a month before my special interests killed that. The cold contacts that drew more replies were about 1/2 a paragraph (hey I listened to the dating gurus!) From what I could tell it wasn't the content of the messages so much as the right length, but once I thought I was in I monologued them to death
My only other online haunt is a site for my moped interest, when I started there I threw myself into the fray, trying to contribute to every topic but got butthurt when ignored or flamed, newer members joined and the site took on a whole different vibe, almost Andy Kaufman-esque. Some even newer members are coming on that restore a little balance, I engage better with them than the troll elite
When I come here I feel I can wear my soul on my sleeve, finally finding the outlet that lets me say what I need to say, I can listen and be heard where the world has tried to grind me into the dirt all my life, so I've really only felt anxious about replies when it's a post where I've tried to be encouraging |
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Tequila
Trust the people!
Joined: Feb 26, 2006
Posts: 26054
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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| 2wheels4ever wrote: | | Before I gave up on POF (I should know better, they're all really that shallow) I skimmed 10s of 1000s of profiles, read something interesting enough to send 100s of cold contacts, got maybe 30 replies, of which 1/2 were anything beyond that, and out of all that, I got 1 phone # that I texted for a month before my special interests killed that. |
To be honest, I gave Plenty of Fish a month or two and didn't really get anywhere with it either. The people on it were either shallow, not particularly bright, or had their own issues that needed dealing with. |
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JanuaryMan
Aspierational
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 2548
Location: Hants, UK
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 9:46 pm Post subject: |
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That place sucks. Only interaction I get there is if I do what you did - under a paragraph, broken up per sentence (basically a text message!) with some witty banter and 1 question. Anything more than this they get brain damage or reject me. Sad state of affairs tbh. The site itself is good it's just the people that ruin it 
_________________
"A man is but the product of his thoughts - what he thinks, he becomes." - Mahatma Gandhi |
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2wheels4ever
Just Another Weirdo From L.A.
Joined: May 04, 2012
Age: 41
Posts: 1339
Location: Losing status at the high school
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 12:37 am Post subject: |
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| Tequila wrote: | | 2wheels4ever wrote: | | Before I gave up on POF (I should know better, they're all really that shallow) I skimmed 10s of 1000s of profiles, read something interesting enough to send 100s of cold contacts, got maybe 30 replies, of which 1/2 were anything beyond that, and out of all that, I got 1 phone # that I texted for a month before my special interests killed that. |
To be honest, I gave Plenty of Fish a month or two and didn't really get anywhere with it either. The people on it were either shallow, not particularly bright, or had their own issues that needed dealing with. |
I signed up in '06 and messed around with it for a month or so, then lay fallow until 2011 and started flogging it again (no pun intended and I wasn't looking for fap material anyway) off and on. I replaced my real photo (I underrate my appearance but IRL have been complimented, seeing myself on photo or video always creeps me out) with a scraped photo of some tatted up, pierced, shirtless most living cartoon thug dude, and all I had to do was click 'upload' and within an hour my Inbox was stuffed without me typing a single word.
I actually got a couple of decent leads going but like the aspie I am, I didn't have the heart to keep up the ruse and well, yeah *you* know... It was funny how this 1 girl wanted the white picket fence but nobody wanted to stay with her because she had tatoos and worked on cars. I suck at trolling but the opening volleys were some of my best work ever, should've archived it
Yeah getting the one number and then answering every 'what u up 2' text with something about my special interest is making me laugh even as I post |
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