Eureka7
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 30, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 25
Location: phoenix
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 Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 5:06 pm Post subject: My sister doesn't think theres anything wrong with me |
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She's a year older than me, is an NT, and doesn't think there's anything wrong with me.
She's always been the "mature" outgoing independent one. We used to be very close as kids and then kind of as teens. But as adults we drifted apart. My two other sisters are understanding about my AS, but she still doesn't think I have it even getting diagnosed last year. She said she knows what autism is because she works with autistic kids at a school, but she works with the ones that are on the other side of the spectrum?
She said I seem perfectly normal and capable of doing things on my own. If that were the case, I would hold down a job, be driving, and have my own place!
She thinks it's just an excuse not to do anything with my life basically.
But she doesn't know how I feel and how I can't just go out and get a job and drive like she does. (I also suffer from agoraphobia)
If I could do all those things like most people my age do, then I would! I don't choose to do nothing and be miserable...
We got into a bad fight last year and she mentioned how I use AS as an excuse to me an a$$h0le and that I should be ashamed of myself because none of the kids in her class act like I do. I got very mad and had a breakdown...
I just wish she would understand me. I told her about it but she doesn't wanna accept it. |
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Angel_ryan
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 20, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 745
Location: Ontario Canada
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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OMG this is amazing you just regurgitated the experiences I had with my younger brother last year. Only difference is I have arachnophobia not agoraphobia. My brother still makes fun of my spider fears though. Anyway The first thing I want to give you is props I love your avatar, I've had mine since the beginning and never changed it, I'm also very very ex-static that Eureka7:AO is airing. Back on topic, I don't have my license either and it's embarrassing. My brother stills doesn't understand my diagnosis which I got 3 years ago. I've had to except that he doesn't understand my personal experiences with life's challenge's as far as living with AS. I've been brushing off his unintended insults like: I am selfish or lazy, and now I just try to meet him in the middle ground. I don't expect him to respect me, and I try not get upset about it when he doesn't. I know it can be really hard and frustrating. Don't give up on trying to get a job/move out though it will be difficult and it takes longer for us than the average person. So just ignore the criticism from family, and look for emotional supports else where if you have to. Wrong planet is a great place that fills the void where NTs just don't get it. It's very hard to get family members to understand, so please don't feel bad, it's possible she'll understand someday, but don't get frustrated if sometimes it feels like it may never happen.
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Last edited means I caught yet another spelling mistake I missed while I was looking for them, Damn Dyslexia. |
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XFilesGeek
Pretentiousness personified.
Joined: Jul 25, 2010
Posts: 1792
Location: The Oort Cloud
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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Family: "You don't have Asprgager's Disease!!"
Me: "It's Asperger's, and do you even know what it is?"
Family: "No...."
Me: 
_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced." |
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redrobin62
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2012
Age: 50
Posts: 3834
Location: Seattle, WA
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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I drive, I'm between jobs (but I've worked for years), and I pay my own rent. My oldest brother doesn't think I'm on the spectrum at all because he read about it on the internet and said I don't fit the profile. My brother is one of those kind of people that know everything and is always right. I explained I took several aspie tests and was diagnosed by a clinical psychologist whose expertise is in AS. He doesn't buy it. That's okay. He's ignorant that it is a "spectrum", a variety of symptoms that defines us. Some of us behave like "Adam", some like Sigourney Weaver in Snow Cake, some like that Dr. Reid in Criminal Minds, some like Spock, some of us are so asymptomatic from day to day that we don't look like we have it at all. I second Angel Ryan said. Forget about her. Your supporters are right here on WP, okay? (You can thank me later).  |
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Ames76
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 23, 2011
Posts: 233
Location: TN/KY border
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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| My daddy said the same thing to me. |
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AnonymousAnonymous
Is Not A Sociopath
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 22543
Location: Portland, Oregon
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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Both my mom and my older sister say the same thing too because both do not believe there's such a thing as AS.
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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat! |
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daydreamer84
butterfly
Joined: Jul 09, 2009
Age: 28
Posts: 3291
Location: My own little world
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 8:21 pm Post subject: |
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| My sister pretty much says the same things about me like that there's nothing wrong with me and that I use my diagnosis as an excuse for not doing normal adult things. |
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AnonymousAnonymous
Is Not A Sociopath
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 22543
Location: Portland, Oregon
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 8:43 pm Post subject: |
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My sister, since she believes there is no such thing as AS, believes everything I do & say is wrong
and that I'm like all other guys she knows; total, absolute jerks.
Is this a sign she is sexist?
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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat! |
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FishStickNick
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 05, 2012
Posts: 957
Location: My own head
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 9:02 pm Post subject: |
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| I have yet to get a formal diagnosis, but my sister thinks I may very well have AS, given my history, my behavior, and so on. My mom, on the other hand...she refuses to even listen to me. Instead of letting me try to explain, she points out all of these reasons as to why I don't have it, that when I was a kid I was diagnosed with something else (mind you, I was diagnosed before AS was in the DSM); that I was speaking on time and was an early reader with a large vocabulary (which are, of course, common aspie traits), and so on. I don't know for sure if I'm an aspie or not, but it's definitely a frustrating experience when someone in your own family won't even hear you out. |
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so_subtly_strange
Toucan
Joined: Jan 18, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 293
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 9:09 pm Post subject: |
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you cannot make anyone understand. some people WILL not believe the less severe cases of autism are that, and chalk them up to behavioral issues that are either partly or entirely within our control. Dealing with these people is not difficult for me because i have had to do a similar think in relation to atheism, an ailment I have had for more than a decade, whereas I learned of autism only in the last couple years. The realization is the same, some people REFUSE to understand. They have their own idea, and it is not open to discussion or evaluation. My mother is in denial of my autism diagnosis (self diagnosis so far) (though she interestingly told me about a teacher i had in elementary school who thought I had aspergers, before i ever mentioned my own findings), my mother is also in denial of my atheism, she constantly discusses churchy subjects as if i have never told her anything about my personal beliefs, they are simply not valid, ergo nonexistent. Didn't mean to turn response to your issue about me but these are examples of my point, that this will occur to you again, and likely in relation to numerous other things independent of your neurological condition. If it is strangers that refuse to understand it can usually be easy enough to move on, but it definitely sucks when you have to hide or not mention part of yourself around people that have to be part of your lives, such as family members. Suck as it may you just have to accept you will have to attempt to censor yourself around these people. Sad for them but it is their choice.
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That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die. |
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Danimal
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 16, 2011
Age: 48
Posts: 155
Location: West Central Indiana
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 4:06 am Post subject: |
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I discovered that family members can have difficulty with an AS diagnosis. My mom doesn't accept it. I have no desire to tell my dad about it. My four children and my wife learned how to talk to me over the years. My kids have found that they are able to talk with other AS people they encounter because they had to learn it at home.
I think family can be in denial simply because they think they know us so well. |
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Eureka7
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 30, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 25
Location: phoenix
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 2:04 pm Post subject: |
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Aww thanks for all of your support guys^_^
I really do feel like I fit in here than my own family.
I also don't like it when my family doesn't take my sensory issues into consideration...like when their kids are screaming and yelling for no reason, they don't tell them to be quiet because it hurts me...they get mad at me for leaving the room to avoid it or if I tell their kids to be quiet:(
I think my mom understands me the most because she had to deal with it all my life. She's even trying to look into support groups for me.
I'm lucky to have her at least:) |
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AnotherKind
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 15, 2011
Posts: 769
Location: Neverland
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 3:03 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, they would believe the worst scenarios but having Asperger's, no f***ing way
My mother prefer to believe i'm crazy, paranoid, depressive, schizophrenic, bizzare but having Asperger's is the last thing she would believe.
I told her about it and my father is also very likely to be an autist - but she pretends to know better than i do. Also i wrote in one day a poem- when i showed her, she didn't believe i wrote it And then she was scared because she said i'm too mature for my age and was thinking there should be something wrong with me. 
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Agnostic atheist. Hardcore determinist. Misanthrope. Objectivist. INTP.
AS: 165, NT: 44 |
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