cozysweater
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 06, 2011
Posts: 570
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 Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 10:01 pm Post subject: Are you a good judge of character? |
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I'm not going to make this a poll because that would be too easy  Instead, I'd prefer to either hear whether you are not a good judge or if you are, why?
Personally, I think I'm surprisingly good considering that I'm not exactly socially adept. I often find that my assessments of people bear out with experience (although that could be self-fulfilling and is entirely anecdotal). Regardless, I think this is because I'm in the sometimes awkward position of having to analyze behavioral clues as opposed to relying on a "gut" reaction. What have you found in your experience? |
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Bloodheart
Grisha's Gal
Joined: Jan 18, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 2182
Location: Newcastle, England.
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 10:27 pm Post subject: |
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I think I'm a reasonably good judge of character.
I have gut instincts that normally see me right, otherwise being an aspie for me is like having a built-in filter - if they instantly discount me as ignorant or arrogant without getting to know me those are the people who normally bad-mouth me and are simply not worth knowing, the people who become me friends are those who took the time to forgive me my oddities and learn about who I am.
Granted this doesn't always work, I am often prone to seeing the best in people so although I don't let bad people into my life I do miss some of the less favourable characteristics of people at first, and on occasion I have been fooled by those who fake being good people - but then this was when I was younger and I wasn't the only one taken-in by this person.
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Bloodheart
Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.
Last edited by Bloodheart on Wed May 16, 2012 10:58 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Iloveshoujoai
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jan 20, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 183
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 10:50 pm Post subject: |
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not always. I notice that I have judged a whole bunch of people in my life negatively my first time meeting them only to realize some of them were the most admirable people I've ever met. The reason I do this is because if someone is overly aggressive, prideful or loud I tend to get very uncomfortable and that leads to me overestimating or just putting too much emphasis on that fault.
One of my high school PE teachers is an example of this, everything I ever heard about him from other students was bad, and from the moment i went to my first class with him I wanted to get out. His voice was loud and demanding, he took sports way to seriously (I am not skilled at or all that interested in them.) He often yelled and would call students names like punk or clown. He even had a mean looking face. He ended up being one of my favorite teachers of all time. In actuality he was just very intolerant of disrespect towards himself and other students. He didn't care if you were good at sports, only that you tried. His personality was one that commanded respect, a type that is very rare in schools these days. |
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glasstoria
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 03, 2011
Posts: 454
Location: Missouri USA
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 11:59 pm Post subject: |
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I have not been good at it, in the past. I think the biggest reason is because I didn't listen to myself. If I wanted to be in a relationship with someone I would second guess my own doubts about them, and stuff them away. Now that I am older, it has been a long journey but I can actually listen to my own opinions and not be as easily swept away by the "show" or what someone seems to be on the surface. I know I have a hard time judging if people are safe or not, so I have to be aware of things like: What are the persons actions? Do they do what they say they will do, or do they have a ton of excuses? Do they take responsibility for their behaviors or is life all someone elses fault? Are they responsible with their appearance, health, appointments, finances, etc? People who are not mature enough to take care of themselves, or admit the areas they need help in, are not going to be strong partners. That is what I've learned. I am not perfect by any means, but I can accept the facts of what things are my strengths or weaknesses so I won't try to hide those areas in order to get people to like me.
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Your Aspie score: 165 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200
EQ 12 SQ 70 = Extreme Systemizer |
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J4mes
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 01, 2012
Posts: 54
Location: Essex, England
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| Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 4:07 am Post subject: |
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| I tend to pre-judge people a bit, it works out to be quite efficient so I can avoid having to deal with people who I don't like. My gut is usually quite accurate, certainly not 100% though. Having said that, I do tend to see the best in people so sometimes people who I think are reliable if they just straight up lie to me I'll believe them, then usually realise some time later that they lied. |
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Siddhi
Raven
Joined: Jan 23, 2012
Posts: 100
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| Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 9:25 am Post subject: |
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I am good at judging people if i see them interacting with others, but not when they are interacting with me. Most of my life i have been a fairly invisible person, so i got to watch others interact with my immediate family. So i can see inconsistencies in their behaviour and tell my family about it. Those have always been right, but at the same time when it comes to me, i am very bad at it. I regularly take people on face value and get into trouble because of it.
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Disclaimer: Not diagnosed but have traits. |
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MeshugenahMama
Raven
Joined: Apr 29, 2012
Posts: 107
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| Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 12:17 pm Post subject: |
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| I am similar in that behavioral cues are beyond me, but my "gut" instinct never fails. It's almost as if I don't understand people, but I can "feel" them. Even my mom has always said that I have amazing instinct when it comes to people. Something happened to me several decades ago, but I will never forget it. I was working in as a cocktail waitress in a nightclub, and the manager introduced to one of his friends. Despite the fact that I was pretty drunk and that tends to dull a persons senses, I have never in my entire life met anyone that exuded evil the way this person did. It was really scary, and I can feel it as if it was yesterday. It wasn't anything he said, but it was like an aura. I never saw him again, so I can't say it was correct, but that's how it goes for me. I have a lot of sensory issues, and I almost wonder if it has to do with heightened senses. |
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catson
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 26, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 2:41 pm Post subject: |
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I'm not very good at judging characters at all. I tend to think the best of people and don't like to judge people prematurely. There can be millions of reason to why a person would behave in a certain way so who am I to judge?
Figuring out a character can take a long time for me |
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cozysweater
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 06, 2011
Posts: 570
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| Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 1:16 am Post subject: |
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Blergh! Well, it's been proven to me in the last couple of days that I'm actually pretty bad at this.
Which, truthfully, is a disappointment on so very many levels. |
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Disraeli
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 27, 2012
Posts: 209
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 3:18 am Post subject: |
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I tend to be pessimistic and have a bad view of people based on a select few instincts they may lead me to judge people the wrong way without knowing their personality.
However, I do consider myself a good judge of character. |
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Stargazer43
Scruffy-looking Nerf Herder
Joined: Nov 07, 2011
Posts: 1421
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| Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 11:16 am Post subject: |
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| I would say that I'm actually a really good judge of character. It's not too often that people surprise me lol. |
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CSBurks
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 30, 2012
Posts: 685
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| Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 1:37 pm Post subject: |
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I think that I'm a good judge of character.
I'm much better than I used to be, as I am less gullible these days. Plus I tend to stay back and use my powers of observation.
I have this desire to classify people. |
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aarpar
Blue Jay
Joined: May 16, 2012
Posts: 86
Location: Winnipeg Manitoba
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| Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 5:52 pm Post subject: |
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I would say most of the time I'm a good judge of character, but then again, most of the time, I can be very gullible too. That can be a bad sign sometimes.
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A-Ron
http://www.youtube.com/user/thataaronguy204 |
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Ai_Ling
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1845
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| Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 5:04 am Post subject: |
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| I tend to dislike almost everyone to some extent so I cant say I have a good judgement on people. But I have gotten better at reading people and making out what there character could be off of a few interactions. But I tend to have a cynical view on most people due to lack of fitting in. But then this is something I am going to have to get over. |
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JanuaryMan
Aspierational
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 2628
Location: Hants, UK
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| Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 7:27 am Post subject: |
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Am I a good judge of character? I'll let you be the judge of that 
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"A man is but the product of his thoughts - what he thinks, he becomes." - Mahatma Gandhi |
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