recycledwit
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 05, 2012
Age: 25
Posts: 28
|
 Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 12:35 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
This thread is sososo comforting! Like many have said, I always thought mutism was interesting but never stopped to consider how I had in fact been selectively mute for as long as I could remember!
Even in trying to type out this reply, I find it hard to make the correct words come out (and have deleted and retyped MANY things). I'm extremely grateful for being able to type/text messages to people in this modern age rather than being forced to phone or visit. You can't reread and retype when you're speaking aloud!
After years of observing conversations around me, I'm getting a little better at making small talk. Every time I try to speak with people, I honestly consider it practice or a workout! NTs don't realize how easy they have it to be able to say anything with ease. |
|
| Back to top |
|
purchase
Phoenix
![]()
Joined: Feb 20, 2010
Age: 27
Posts: 2385
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 1:35 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I am not having much luck coming up with words lately, most of what comes to mind is something like "aughhh...". |
|
| Back to top |
|
purchase
Phoenix
![]()
Joined: Feb 20, 2010
Age: 27
Posts: 2385
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:55 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I feel really alone but I don't have any words I feel like I can say. No one else has posted since me, does anyone have similar problem. Not mute but just feel like can't say real things at any cost, too sacred, have to preserve what's left of the connections I have. Prob. made no sense. |
|
| Back to top |
|
nostromo
Honk-honk Hippo
Joined: Mar 13, 2010
Age: 45
Posts: 3205
Location: At Festively Plump
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 1:41 am Post subject: |
|
|
| purchase wrote: | | I feel really alone but I don't have any words I feel like I can say. No one else has posted since me, does anyone have similar problem. Not mute but just feel like can't say real things at any cost, too sacred, have to preserve what's left of the connections I have. Prob. made no sense. |
Not these days. Are you scared of reaction to what you say? |
|
| Back to top |
|
purchase
Phoenix
![]()
Joined: Feb 20, 2010
Age: 27
Posts: 2385
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 1:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| nostromo wrote: | | purchase wrote: | | I feel really alone but I don't have any words I feel like I can say. No one else has posted since me, does anyone have similar problem. Not mute but just feel like can't say real things at any cost, too sacred, have to preserve what's left of the connections I have. Prob. made no sense. |
Not these days. Are you scared of reaction to what you say? |
Oh thank you for answering. No I'm not afraid of reactions. I mean the things seem literally too sacred, like I'll destroy them, by saying them. I get into this mode quite often. Hard to explain. |
|
| Back to top |
|
nostromo
Honk-honk Hippo
Joined: Mar 13, 2010
Age: 45
Posts: 3205
Location: At Festively Plump
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 4:33 am Post subject: |
|
|
| purchase wrote: | | nostromo wrote: | | purchase wrote: | | I feel really alone but I don't have any words I feel like I can say. No one else has posted since me, does anyone have similar problem. Not mute but just feel like can't say real things at any cost, too sacred, have to preserve what's left of the connections I have. Prob. made no sense. |
Not these days. Are you scared of reaction to what you say? |
Oh thank you for answering. No I'm not afraid of reactions. I mean the things seem literally too sacred, like I'll destroy them, by saying them. I get into this mode quite often. Hard to explain. |
That is hard for me to understand!
Aside from when you feel like that, i.e. at other times can you talk OK? I mean is it easy for you to talk? |
|
| Back to top |
|
SkyHeart
Raven
Joined: Jan 08, 2012
Posts: 123
|
| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 1:24 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I am very glad to find this place. taking is very hard for me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Senath
Deinonychus
Joined: May 17, 2012
Posts: 357
|
| Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 2:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| dossa wrote: | | ProfessorX wrote: | | There are many times I'd like to say something though often when I either go to say it or put it in written sometimes it comes out not fully decipherable.. |
I get that as well. Even though I tend to do better with type/written speak, I still find that I delete/throw away 95% of what I get written as it seems clear and concise when I write it, but seems so completely wrong once I review it. That can be frustrating as it generally takes me twenty minutes to get out one paragraph... unless it is a research paper or some such thing... those things are cake for me. Everything should be so easy.
...side note... hello ProfessorX! It has been awhile. I hope you are well  |
I feel very similarly to both sentiments. I hate conversations because by the time I've figured out what to say and how to say it, I've missed my "in" by about 2 minutes and the moment is no longer opportune.
I love typing because it's so much easier to edit and re-edit and re-re-re-re-edit until the right thing comes out. I credit typing and the Internet to starting my relationship with my boyfriend/fiancee. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Senath
Deinonychus
Joined: May 17, 2012
Posts: 357
|
| Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 2:32 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Woodfish wrote: | i've tried a lot to understand how this with verbal and non-verbal works in my case. i feel it is difficult for me to see it clearly at all.
i think i was expected to be "clever" by family early on .. and somehow tried very hard to not disappoint them .. i think what happened is that there were in a sense two mes .. one verbal .. even almost hyper-verbal. and then also there were what i now feel to be the real me. the non-verbal part.
so, i feel i may still very easily be the verbal me i used to be. but as far as i can tell that makes me basically completely paralysed. i mean in the sense i will do nothing. i will be so busy being verbal there will be no energy left in me to also live .. be a person .. have a life ..
so, ever more these days. i have to deliberately stop the inner babbling .. yet again reconnect to non-verbal real me. and only then is stuff in any way possible. like a thing like buying groceries .. or going to the library. pretty basic stuff. i have to plan and see them as the non-verbal me doing them otherwise they are out of reach.
so to me these days .. it is a bit like .. i will easily feel distracted by let's say a loud radio or tv .. and only when it is turned off is it any use at all for me to start thinking. i feel ever more like that is also the case with my inner monologue .. only when i manage to turn that off is any planning and acting going to happen. |
That's interesting. I wonder practicing that would help me at all. |
|
| Back to top |
|
LabPet
alchemist
Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 4050
Location: UK
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:30 am Post subject: |
|
|
I have a very hard time defending myself (verbally, that is). I've noticed that if someone gets the situation wrong, which of course can happen, I cannot ever right the situation. Even when I've clearly done nothing, at all, wrong I still can come across almost as if I'm guilty.
_________________
"Barn's burnt down, now I can see the moon." - Masahide, circa 1700. Haiku poetry. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Atomsk
Bass Fiend
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 1539
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:48 am Post subject: |
|
|
| LabPet wrote: | | I have a very hard time defending myself (verbally, that is). I've noticed that if someone gets the situation wrong, which of course can happen, I cannot ever right the situation. Even when I've clearly done nothing, at all, wrong I still can come across almost as if I'm guilty. |
I have the same thing happen to me very often. It also happens a lot when people misunderstand me - I often can't verbally correct them.
Although in certain areas I have no problem defending myself/my opinion - for example, when writing music with other people, I'm very clear about it when I don't like something. I also sometimes get overly enthusiastic about things when I'm extremely convinced that I'm correct about something. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Kjas
Onçinha
Joined: Feb 27, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 5180
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 1:15 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I feel like I kind of belong here.
I was mute for 2 years during high school - I would literally speak only to 3 particular people, and never while others were around. Luckily one of them knew me well enough that he could read my mind most of the time and speak for me whenever necessary.
Nowadays, I do speak but I go through times, periods or situation where it is impossible for me to do so. When I am embarrassed, I cannot speak (not that it matters, because when I am embarrassed I just run away anyway). Or sometimes if I go through a extremely bad period, I cannot speak then either. Sometimes when I start to get overstimulated or am around lots of strangers, I am unable to speak then also.
I tend think kinesthetically / visually / patterns, which in some regards makes it much more difficult for me to communicate with words. I struggle greatly with accurately expressing myself in written format, but it is much, much worse verbally. What also doesn't help is that I mix up words, letters, or my word order occasionally, along with not being able to spell - naturally people tend to mock me for these things even though it is not something I can control, it's not lack of education or me not paying attention, my brain is just wired a bit differently and sometimes gets signals mixed up in those areas.
I have given up defending myself verbally, it's just one of the times when I cannot speak. You're right in saying that all it does is make you look guilty and while it does annoy me, these days I don't waste my time correcting other peoples assumptions and judgements, it's their own problem to deal with.
_________________
Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html |
|
| Back to top |
|
Senath
Deinonychus
Joined: May 17, 2012
Posts: 357
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:15 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Kjas wrote: |
I have given up defending myself verbally, it's just one of the times when I cannot speak. You're right in saying that all it does is make you look guilty and while it does annoy me, these days I don't waste my time correcting other peoples assumptions and judgements, it's their own problem to deal with. |
I wish I was at that point. |
|
| Back to top |
|
nostromo
Honk-honk Hippo
Joined: Mar 13, 2010
Age: 45
Posts: 3205
Location: At Festively Plump
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 5:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
There was a person in my country with ASD who was wrongly sent to jail for rape. The circumstances of the case are farcical, as he was completely the wrong guy that didn't even match the offenders description.
He was so upset about the injustice of being wrongly imprisoned, that he refused to talk from the time he was sentenced until the time he was freed two and a half years later (he got pardoned and compensation). |
|
| Back to top |
|
singularity
Sea Gull
Joined: Mar 29, 2012
Posts: 207
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2012 5:13 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Wow, I'm finding this a very interesting thread. I haven't quite gotten through all of it yet, but I wanted to add a few of my own impressions anyway.
I was selectively mute as a kid, as well as having a pretty bad (and very frustrating!) speech impediment. If something was important to me I would write notes to my parents, my teachers. My asperger's went undiagnosed, but I did receive some intensive speech therapy. I'm unlike the 'stereotypical' (we know there is no such thing) aspie, in that I don't go on and on about my interests, but only because I can't seem to get the words out. I am not mute, but I seem to get so anxious I'm incapable of accessing the proper language and I grope stupidly for the basics. I don't know if this is related, but when I'm very stressed out I tend to lose my voice as though suffering from laryngitis.
And an aside to Labpet, who gets so (understandably) upset about some NTs selective illiteracy, it reminded me that in some situations my visual processing can shut down. Told to read something and sign it to say I've understood, or asked to look at a computer screen and choose the appropriate response, I'm unable to focus, unable to process words or symbols. I can still see, but nothing makes sense. I wonder if NTs experience anything comparable to this when presented with notes, a sort of intellectual stage fright?
Writing and drawing are still my preferred methods for communicating. Unfortunately few people take the time to try to understand me via these avenues. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
