Please let the next two weeks go fast.

twinplets · Pileated woodpecker Joined: Feb 23, 2010 Posts: 188

My son has 2 teachers in 4th grade. His homeroom teacher teaches math and science. The team teacher does English/Writing/Social Studies. His homeroom teacher became pregnant and the last day in April was the end of the year for her. We get out of school June 1st. They couldn't get one substitute to replace her for the last 4 weeks. They had one sub that taught for the first week. This past week another came in to teach for the last 3 weeks. However, she taught 2 days and then had a vacation planned, so on Wed. and Thurs. there was a substitute for the substitute. To add to that, that sub could not work today, so they had a sub for the sub for the sub. Tell me any learning is going on?

Through it all my son has rolled with it until today. He came home upset thinking he was in trouble because he received a redirect from the substitute. He was sent out of class for hitting a boy. This made no sense. He has never been sent out for hitting at school. Come to find out, 3 boys in his class were touching his chair over and over again. For history, my son has had an OCD thing about people touching his desk or chair since the middle of 2nd grade. He has managed this by needing to touch their desk or chair back. His teachers and the special ed teachers have worked hard to get him to mange it this year. While it does still bother him, he manages without touching other desks and has gone from taking 3 scheduled sensory breaks throughout the day to asking for a break only when he feels he needs it and excusing himself. The teachers just raved about how much he has grown this year in his IEP last week.

So the three boys are touching his chair repeatedly, knowing it annoys him, and he is moving his hands around trying to cover his chair back and slapping at their hands to get them away. He says he isn't sure if he hit them on purpose or not. I can tell he is confused because he knows he did slap at them and wanted them to remove their hands, but he also knows that he didn't hit at them in anger and want to hurt them. The vice principal seems to have gotten him to "admit" he hit them. I know what happened and yes, he is actually the one that touched them, but slapping away hands isn't exactly the same as fighting. The boys run to the substitute and tell her my son hit them. He doesn't tell her what they were doing, so she gives him a redirect. His IEP states he is to go to the resource room for all redirects instead of to another 4th grade class, so the special ed teacher can do a social autopsy with him. My son knows this and tells the sub he is suppose to go there. She is clueless, so she sends him to the vice principle instead. My sons tells me the vice principal is confused why he came to her and is trying to get the story out of him. She has no freaking clue about why the desk touching bothers him and gives him the advice of "Why don't you touch their desk back!" He tells her "My Mom won't like that." She does tell him to not do it if I won't like it. His second teacher saw him in the hall, figured something happened and came to explain the situation to the vice principle. Apparently, they then talked about choices and what he should have done and have the answer was he should have asked for a break. Well, the break system was set up to help him when he is overwhelmed from general brushing up against his chair and desk, not kids pushing his buttons and bullying him.

I was pretty annoyed over this whole episode and told my son he wasn't in trouble. I know he was telling the truth because in all the years this has bothered him, he has never once said someone touched his desk just to bother him. Plus, one of these boys has been waving his hand in front on my son's face this year saying "I'm not touching you." If my son is in trouble for hitting someone. He better have darn well hit them, not touched someone in a defensive move. The principal was on a call after school, so I left a lengthy message. She had the vice principal call me to explain the situation. The vice principal said that she talked to the other boys and told them to move away from my son, but that no one actually saw them touching his chair on purpose. No one saw my son "hit" them either, but he still was in trouble for it. They have had this huge bullying campaign the last 2 years. I told my son the boys were basically bullying him and while the school might not like it, as long as he was not starting anything and defending himself, I would back him. He was so happy. He said he had told them they were bullying him. He was so happy someone believed him. "He said "Finally!"

We have also had a pencil problem this year. My son does lose things easily. However, I have never had to give him over 100 pencils in one year. In March, when he needed more, I finally asked him what was up with him not keeping his pencils. He said other boys keep taking them. So, I sharpied his name on all the new pencils I gave him that time. He told me a boy took one of his mechanical pencils the other day and said it was his. They are getting away with it because he is forgetful, so the teachers never believe him. I told him next year I am ordering pencils for him in a pattern no one else will ever have, with his name on them, so he will always know which ones are his and he will be able to prove it when someone takes them.

The vice principal said something about needing to document this which is why they did a redirect. So now, I am making him re-write what really happened on his re-direct paper before I sign it and have him return it to school. I always scan these into the computer too, so I know I have a copy. I know this wouldn't have happened if his teacher had been there. All learning has stopped in that class now. I wish I could take him out of school for these last 2 weeks.

We live in a very nice suburb. I am pretty amazed at how mean some kids can be. There is boy in his grade who is huge for his age. He is very tall and big. He looks like he is a high school football player, playing the offensive line. You would think no one messed with this boy. However, this boy is a teddy bear. His personality reminds you of the guy from the movie The Blind Side. He is a sweet kid. The other day, I actually heard another boy, who is one of the smallest kids in the 4th grade, calling this kid names as we were walking through the crosswalk after school. I looked at him and said "That isn't very smart considering how big he is." I looked over at the sweet, big kid and said "Doesn't he know you could squish him like a bug?" He said "Oh, he is just being a butthead."

I have always feared middle school. I keep telling the staff We have one more year to get him ready for it. They keep saying. "Oh, it isn't that bad." This stuff isn't convincing me.