GumbyLives
Phoenix
Joined: May 31, 2010
Age: 52
Posts: 768
Location: LV-426
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 Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 9:13 pm Post subject: Can old, deep sadness ever be healed? |
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I have a very old sadness - not depression, etc, but just pure sadness - over being abandoned and rejected by my family of origin. I've had it for decades, because they've been rejecting me for decades, and they still do, even today.
Most often this sadness sits hidden even from me, unless something comes up that makes me think of it - and then I just want to cry and cry, but there seems no way to actually be rid of this.
I tried psychotherapy a few times in my life, and it never did anything for me. I'm tired, though, of carrying around this stupid emotion that has no resolution, and apparently no natural healing on its own.
Anyone have any ideas of ways to get rid of or heal this? I'm at a total loss.
_________________
I would rather have my liver pecked out by a giant crow than spend a day at the mall. But I'd pay money to see a giant crow eat a mall.
Your Aspie score: 155 of 200 * Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 49 of 200 * You are very likely an Aspie |
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bobbythebluesman
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 12, 2012
Age: 55
Posts: 40
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| Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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In Faith I survive.
I had to let go of my judgement on those aspects of my life that I had no control over and determined that it was God's recipe for me and to start accepting some of it.
Instead of healing, wear the scar.
Understand that sadness as necessary, for other aspects of who you are, to do their thing.
With that, you might not heal but you may find reward in you sadness, still.
I can blame my father for being a narcisist and treating me the way he did, or I can accept the fact that he has no control over his narcisism, (and in fact doesn't see it) and I can no more blame him for the type of father he is as I could to blame him for his race, or hair color.
So then, my reasoning led me on to try to understand the human father that I got similarly to my dry skin. Part of my heredity and aspect of reflective consciousness I needed at a young age.
My Faith tells me that today, I am perfect, if I can just figure it out.
I wish the best for you and your search for understanding. |
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glasstoria
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 03, 2011
Posts: 454
Location: Missouri USA
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| Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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In my opinion, in some ways, the painful emotion will always be with you, because it has been there shaping who you are from so long ago. But I don't think that means it cannot get better.
I have a pain that is not as old as yours, but still seems fresh to me everytime it is exposed again, as you say things remind you. I have wondered the same thing, will it ever go away?
If you believe in a form of god, I look to those who have more faith than I do. And they say that god cares about every detail of your life, and that he/she knows the reasons why you have this pain, and knows the reasons why it has not left you yet. At times this type of thinking is comforting to me, at other times, it feels cruel to give anyone this pain.
There are more concrete things to do, if you are not into faith like that. You can write it down and put it in a box, and let go of it. It can be a "god box" or a creator box, or mailbox to simply the spirit of life. The important thing is to give your pain away to let the larger power sort out. You can go on about your business and let the power work it out, after you have put in your request.
Another concrete thing is a group such as Al Anon, which is for the families of alcoholics and addicts. They can help you to see how to live despite pain, because pain is something they know very well, in all of their stories.
If nothing like that appeals to you, maybe you could try something else, like creating your own ritual, joining a drum circle that works in healing through sound, reiki, hypnosis, etc. There is something called "tapping" or "eft- emotional freedom technique" that works for some people, and involves tapping energy points on your body while speaking statements about your issue. There are many many paths in this world, I think it is a beautiful gift that we explore so many paths so easily through technology and the connectedness of our modern world.
In my personal case, I think that it may always still hurt when I am reminded smack in the face of one particular thing. Maybe the hurt will help me to be more compassionate and thoughtful to others who share a similar hurt. Maybe I need to be as compassionate as I can possibly be in order to fullfill my mission on earth, and this pain was the only way to create the level of compassion necessary.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 165 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200
EQ 12 SQ 70 = Extreme Systemizer |
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