Im hurting

krex · Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 4:59 pm Post subject:

I thought you did really well in that conversation except for one thing.I dont know how other females feel but if a guy even mentions my appearance or anything related to sex....even if it isnt about me....it makes me very nervous.I was "played" by guys in highschool and some in college and it made me paranoid about this particular behavior.One nice casual statement about someone liking my appearance is good,to know that they are attracted but you have to be very casual,like it's an after thought.I would much rather have a compliment on my intelligence,creativity,compassion....those are non-threatening and dont ring of "player".

Another thing.Maybe she isnt interested in a boyfriend "NOW" but if she gets to know you and like you,that could change.All,"I'm not looking for a boyfriend" means to many females is....I like to really get to know someone before making a commitment....some guys think that one date means you are "boyfriend and girlfriend"...I had one guy mention moving in with me after we had been seeing each other a month....I liked him but that was a huge red flag to me.I know she could actually mean that she isnt attracted to you or has another guy she is persueing,so it is impossible to know if you dont have the patience to wait and see.Some girls may say it to show that they ,themselves are not clingy and needy because they have been given the message that most guys hate that.Personally,I like it if a guy can be patient enough to stick around to see if we click.It means I am worth an investment of his time for a possible "no sure thing".Other wise,I am not special and easily exchangeable for the next girl that comes around.No one likes to feel like they are so easily replaceable.(Why I hate when a guy plays the numbers and just asks anybody and every body to date or dance.....If I am "everybody",then I am "nobody" to them.

I didnt notice you asking any questions about her or her interests.How do you know you even like her...because of how she looked?Well,she probably figured that out and would like someone to be interested in "who" she is and then give her genuine compliments about who that person is...you may find there is nothing beneath the surface to like and thats good info to have.
_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesnt mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang

Visit my crafts store
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5412685