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Dating Profile Advice (how to stand out from 95% of people) Previous  1, 2, 3  
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The_Face_of_Boo
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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kurgan wrote:
I posted a bathroom flexing photo on a social networking site once. No picture has ever given me more attention, despite the fact that my hair was a mess and that I sported two weeks worth of stubble.


Same here (not bathroom pic, but just shirtless). Yes, it was the only picture effective enough to get initial attention/messages/replies.
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guitarman2010
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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I might be going against the grain in regards to this thread but my opinion (lol we all have one and some stink more than others) is as follows. Be urself....do ur profile however u want to do it. Originality would probably be a big plus. If u follow a cookie cutter profile "profile".....how are u going to stand out? If the bait doesn't "hook" any catch, maybe ur approach at the dating scene needs to be addressed? Just because u post a profile doesn't mean u'll get a date or maybe u will.....who knows? My only other piece of advice is if ur looking at a getting a good genuine friendship brewing, limiting the subject of "sex" at first might help. All the women online out there know how ruthless males can be with this subject. Letting people know up front ur not about sex might be the easiest way to set urself apart from the majority.
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The_Face_of_Boo
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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 5:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

guitarman2010 wrote:
All the women online out there know how ruthless males can be with this subject. Letting people know up front ur not about sex might be the easiest way to set urself apart from the majority.



And that all depends on how attractive the guy is, use some fake photo of a male model and enjoy watching the increasing tolerance toward "your" rude sexual innuendos...
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Logan5
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PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 7:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

On the topic of pictures, OkTrends (OkCupid's old blog, http://blog.okcupid.com/ ) has some interesting research. In particular, see "The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures", http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/ , in which they concluded, "But, contrary to everything you read about profile pictures, if you’re a guy with a nice body, it’s actually better to take off your shirt than to leave it on.... Like the Ab Shot, the Cleavage Shot is very successful, drawing 12.9 new contacts per month, or 49% more than average." (Please note, I am not endorsing using either the "Ab Shot" or the "Cleavage Shot", I am just stating what they found. You should read the entire blog post for all the caveats.)

Also see "What Is *Your* Best Profile Picture"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/my-best-face/
"Don’t Be Ugly By Accident!"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont-be-ugly-by-accident/
"Your Looks and Your Inbox"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
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PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
guitarman2010 wrote:
All the women online out there know how ruthless males can be with this subject. Letting people know up front ur not about sex might be the easiest way to set urself apart from the majority.



And that all depends on how attractive the guy is, use some fake photo of a male model and enjoy watching the increasing tolerance toward "your" rude sexual innuendos...


Yeah physical attractiveness can go in your plus column and help to mitigate somethings in your minus column. So what?
If you aren't particularly "hot" it's probably a better strategy to be civil and appropriate. Even if you are hot, why not dd more to your plus column by being polite than borrow against you hotness to be a jerk.

In any case I'm not a fan o trolling dating sites. There are enough creeps without the addition of fake creeps and spammers.
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The_Face_of_Boo
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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 9:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
guitarman2010 wrote:
All the women online out there know how ruthless males can be with this subject. Letting people know up front ur not about sex might be the easiest way to set urself apart from the majority.



And that all depends on how attractive the guy is, use some fake photo of a male model and enjoy watching the increasing tolerance toward "your" rude sexual innuendos...


Yeah physical attractiveness can go in your plus column and help to mitigate somethings in your minus column. So what?
If you aren't particularly "hot" it's probably a better strategy to be civil and appropriate. Even if you are hot, why not dd more to your plus column by being polite than borrow against you hotness to be a jerk.

In any case I'm not a fan o trolling dating sites. There are enough creeps without the addition of fake creeps and spammers.


I am not telling him to be a fake spammers, was just suggesting to experiment.

of course but i was just saying...
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minervx
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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 10:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Logan5 wrote:
On the topic of pictures, OkTrends (OkCupid's old blog, http://blog.okcupid.com/ ) has some interesting research. In particular, see "The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures", http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/ , in which they concluded, "But, contrary to everything you read about profile pictures, if you’re a guy with a nice body, it’s actually better to take off your shirt than to leave it on.... Like the Ab Shot, the Cleavage Shot is very successful, drawing 12.9 new contacts per month, or 49% more than average." (Please note, I am not endorsing using either the "Ab Shot" or the "Cleavage Shot", I am just stating what they found. You should read the entire blog post for all the caveats.)

Also see "What Is *Your* Best Profile Picture"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/my-best-face/
"Don’t Be Ugly By Accident!"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont-be-ugly-by-accident/
"Your Looks and Your Inbox"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/


But how are the QUALITY of those statistics?

If you put a pic of your clevage, sure you'll get more hits, but mostly from old creepy pervy guys.
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

minervx wrote:
Logan5 wrote:
On the topic of pictures, OkTrends (OkCupid's old blog, http://blog.okcupid.com/ ) has some interesting research. In particular, see "The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures", http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/ , in which they concluded, "But, contrary to everything you read about profile pictures, if you’re a guy with a nice body, it’s actually better to take off your shirt than to leave it on.... Like the Ab Shot, the Cleavage Shot is very successful, drawing 12.9 new contacts per month, or 49% more than average." (Please note, I am not endorsing using either the "Ab Shot" or the "Cleavage Shot", I am just stating what they found. You should read the entire blog post for all the caveats.)

Also see "What Is *Your* Best Profile Picture"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/my-best-face/
"Don’t Be Ugly By Accident!"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont-be-ugly-by-accident/
"Your Looks and Your Inbox"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/


But how are the QUALITY of those statistics?

If you put a pic of your clevage, sure you'll get more hits, but mostly from old creepy pervy guys.


Good point!
It would be better in the long run to attract a smaller number of better potentials then a large number of unsuitable people.
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If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth.
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 3:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
minervx wrote:
Logan5 wrote:
On the topic of pictures, OkTrends (OkCupid's old blog, http://blog.okcupid.com/ ) has some interesting research. In particular, see "The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures", http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/ , in which they concluded, "But, contrary to everything you read about profile pictures, if you’re a guy with a nice body, it’s actually better to take off your shirt than to leave it on.... Like the Ab Shot, the Cleavage Shot is very successful, drawing 12.9 new contacts per month, or 49% more than average." (Please note, I am not endorsing using either the "Ab Shot" or the "Cleavage Shot", I am just stating what they found. You should read the entire blog post for all the caveats.)

Also see "What Is *Your* Best Profile Picture"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/my-best-face/
"Don’t Be Ugly By Accident!"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont-be-ugly-by-accident/
"Your Looks and Your Inbox"
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/


But how are the QUALITY of those statistics?

If you put a pic of your clevage, sure you'll get more hits, but mostly from old creepy pervy guys.


Good point!
It would be better in the long run to attract a smaller number of better potentials then a large number of unsuitable people.


but if you can attract a larger number ==> then you're more likely to attract more suitable people.

Do you really think that your suitable potential wouldn't like a cleavage at all? ;p are you sure of that?

The large number is usually an advantage.

And what if one just wants something for fun? then these oktrends tips are useful in this case.
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 4:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

but if you can attract a larger number ==> then you're more likely to attract more suitable people.


I don't think that is always the case.
ex. say my weight fluctuates a lot and I have fairly recent (less than 2yrs old) pictures of myself at my highest and lowest weights.
If I post only the images that depict me at my skinniest I'm likely to receive more attention. But there is a decent chance most or even all interested parties would lose interest when I gain. So while I have a lot of messages, I don't have much in the way of real relationship potential.
If my profile includes pictures of my heavier body I'll probably get a lower volume of responses, but the responses I do get are more likely to be from people I would have relationship potential with.
So if in the first I get 200 messages and only 15 are worth replying to, that's less effective than the second in which I only receive in total 30 messages 20 of which are worth responding to.

ex2. say I'm really into larping and interested in a partner that larps too. A profile that doesn't mention this potentially unattractive hobby might attract lots of messages, but since I haven't said anything to appeal specifically to a larper, it's likely non of those messages will be from someone who shares that interest.
If I include that information, I may get less attention from the general non-larping public, but I'm more likely to attract messages from people who share my interest.
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 4:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
ex. say my weight fluctuates a lot and I have fairly recent (less than 2yrs old) pictures of myself at my highest and lowest weights.
If I post only the images that depict me at my skinniest I'm likely to receive more attention. But there is a decent chance most or even all interested parties would lose interest when I gain. So while I have a lot of messages, I don't have much in the way of real relationship potential.
If my profile includes pictures of my heavier body I'll probably get a lower volume of responses, but the responses I do get are more likely to be from people I would have relationship potential with.
So if in the first I get 200 messages and only 15 are worth replying to, that's less effective than the second in which I only receive in total 30 messages 20 of which are worth responding to.


and what if some of these men prefer heavier women and would lost interest once you get skinnier? Same potential problem, you see, yet much less numbers.
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JanuaryMan
Aspierational
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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 4:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Surely a woman would want the guy to like her body as well as her profile.
I mean, sure a cleavage pic would get more bad hits, but wouldn't you want the good replies to also think you have a hot bod?

I know if I had a more decent pic up on the dating sites, I'd be disappointed if all I got was a month long friendship over an interest like Star Trek and not one mention of each other's pics. I can get friendships for special interests plenty of other places easy enough.
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minervx
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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You do make a point though. Pictures matter a lot.

If you don't look super attractive or like a movie star, it takes patience.

I think this applies more to guys, because it really looks cheesy when a guy snaps a pic of himself shirtless in the bathroom mirror with his cell phone, especially if his pants are sagging and he's wearing a baseball cap backwards. Even if he has a six pack.

But to me, I'm reluctant to message women who DELIBERATELY focus their photos on their clevage. It really comes off to me as either insecure or desperate for attention.
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NicoleG
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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 2:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

minervx wrote:
You do make a point though. Pictures matter a lot.

If you don't look super attractive or like a movie star, it takes patience.


I think of myself as pretty, but I can't stand 90% of my pictures as I don't find myself to be very photogenic. That being said, I have people say I'm "hot and sexy" all the time (which, unless I'm all dolled up, I really don't get this either), but I think most of it comes from seeing me in the flesh and getting a whiff of my personality, rather than just a picture on a dating site. People can look gorgeous, but still be complete airheads in person.
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