rj251
Hummingbird
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 22
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 Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 10:45 pm Post subject: Age differences |
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I met a girl on a dating site a few weeks ago and we've been hitting it off really well. I really like her and have been considering asking her to meet up for the last week or so.
Something that gave me pause for thought though is that she's just revealed to me that instead of being 18, like it says on her profile, she's actually 17. Being 21 I'm now wondering whether or not it's generally acceptable for a 21 year old to date a 17 year old, or is that generally frowned upon?
If someone can shed some light on this, it'd be a great help
Thanks in advance |
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Tuttle
Not a bird, a turtle.
Joined: Mar 27, 2006
Age: 24
Posts: 2631
Location: Massachusetts
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 11:17 pm Post subject: |
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| 17 and 21 is generally thought to be not creepy, depending on what you're doing with your lives. The rule people use for some strange reason is 1/2 older person's age + 7 = minimum younger person's age. This would lead to 17.5 as your minimum and people tend to be okay with 17. I was 17 when my boyfriend was 21 and we first got together. |
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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In high school/ out of high school relationships can be read as a little off.
If you drink and she can't, that can be an issue
If she is under the legal age of consent in your area, that can be an issue.
All of those things are really dependent on where you are though, which I don't know.
The 1/2+7 rule is generally good, the younger you are though the more significant each year of difference is. 17 & 21 are both pretty young.
You may get the occasional side eye but I think as long as you're conscious that she may be in a different place in her life it should be fine.
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nick007
old-skewl fan-boy
Joined: May 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 9804
Location: was Louisiana but moved in with my girlfreind in Vermont
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 1:15 am Post subject: Re: Age differences |
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| rj251 wrote: | | Being 21 I'm now wondering whether or not it's generally acceptable for a 21 year old to date a 17 year old, or is that generally frowned upon? |
It's not very uncommon in my area for girls in high-school to date guys in their 20s & even older. I don't think there's anything wrong with you dating her as long as your respectful of the fact that she's still a minor.
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rj251
Hummingbird
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 8:21 am Post subject: |
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I live in the UK, so she's not in high school, not technically a minor, but she can't drink yet
Thanks for the advice guys. Thinking about it, I had a relationship with a 17 year old last year when I was 20, so it shouldn't make a huge difference really, should it? |
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SilkySifaka
Lemur
Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1396
Location: UK
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 10:43 am Post subject: |
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| rj251 wrote: | I live in the UK, so she's not in high school, not technically a minor, but she can't drink yet
Thanks for the advice guys. Thinking about it, I had a relationship with a 17 year old last year when I was 20, so it shouldn't make a huge difference really, should it? |
I think 17 and 21 sounds fine. I think a four year age difference when all concerned are legal isn't much to worry about at all. I hope it all works out for you  |
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Mummy_of_Peanut
Countess de Noir
Joined: Feb 21, 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 3483
Location: Bonnie Scotland
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 6:14 am Post subject: |
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When I was 16, I went out with a 21 yr old. I was still at high school (I could have left school almost a year prior, but chose to stay on). He had already been to uni and was working. We've been married 17 years now. At the start of the relationship, I was concerned about the age gap, but my parents were happy that he was a nice guy and, because he was only 21, it wasn't weird. By the time we got married, 5 years later, the age difference meant nothing whatsoever.
Go for it. It's not odd at all.
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HD3H
That Dude Over There!
Joined: Sep 23, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 4725
Location: Denmark
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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That is totally acceptable, when its 17 then above 23 it gets a bit weird, until then it alright.
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