ButterflyLady
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 30, 2012
Age: 30
Posts: 146
Location: Gainesville, FL
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 Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Budfarmer wrote: | I think NT's sometimes use that question when what they really mean is, "I'm really nosey and I don't have a clue what's going on with you so would you please tell me so I can talk about you in the break room?
A YES answer won't be perceived as a lie by the average NT because it is what they want/need to hear. If the NT figures out that you are lying and actually presses the issue, it might actually be that they care...but those are rare in my experience. |
^i agree with this answer as well. i always feel that if i am truthful with them (because i don't like to lie) then all they will do is talk about me behind my back in the break room or whatever.
| Budfarmer wrote: | | Because you are right... it was just another way of saying Hi. He said his part and you said yours. As far as he is concerned, the conversation is over. The rules are very confusing ... LOL |
i do totally agree that the rules are very confusing. i really don't understand how someone can ask me how i am without actually being concerned about my problems. i have only ever come across one NT person that truly did want to know and truly did want to be honest with people when he was asked if he was ok. |
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Budfarmer
Blue Jay
Joined: May 01, 2012
Posts: 78
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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| ButterflyLady wrote: | | Budfarmer wrote: | | Because you are right... it was just another way of saying Hi. He said his part and you said yours. As far as he is concerned, the conversation is over. The rules are very confusing ... LOL |
i do totally agree that the rules are very confusing. i really don't understand how someone can ask me how i am without actually being concerned about my problems. i have only ever come across one NT person that truly did want to know and truly did want to be honest with people when he was asked if he was ok. |
Here's an amazing bit of irony... within 10 minutes after I wrote this, I got up from my desk and headed down the hall. I passed someone who said, "Hey, how you doing?", so like a good little NT type robot, I said "Fine, you?" but they walked on down the hall without responding. I always feel like I did it wrong when that happens. I dunno, I don't get it. People suck.
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I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
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AS quotient: Scored 42
Your Aspie score: 175 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
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Cogs
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 839
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 7:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Budfarmer wrote: | | Here's an amazing bit of irony... within 10 minutes after I wrote this, I got up from my desk and headed down the hall. I passed someone who said, "Hey, how you doing?", so like a good little NT type robot, I said "Fine, you?" but they walked on down the hall without responding. I always feel like I did it wrong when that happens. I dunno, I don't get it. People suck. |
This happens to me often, I am now wondering whether "Fine, you" is perhaps not the correct response as I never ask people, so I dont really know how others respond.
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No one will tell me who and what I am and can be. |
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edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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I usually just answer questions I don't know how to respond to with "Why do you ask?"
What happens when I do that in response to this particular question is invariably the same conversation, almost always exactly the same (not the exact words but the essence of it), and it goes something like this:
"Are you ok?"
"Why do you ask?"
"You look ____." (upset, angry, whatever)
"Well that's odd. I don't feel ____."
"Are you sure?"
"Very."
"Oh, ok then. Sorry."
And then the other person seems to become awkward/nervous. I don't quite understand. |
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Budfarmer
Blue Jay
Joined: May 01, 2012
Posts: 78
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 8:48 am Post subject: |
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^ ^ ^ I like that. I may have to incorporate that into my repertoire.
_________________
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
-----------------------------------
AS quotient: Scored 42
Your Aspie score: 175 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
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ponder
Butterfly
Joined: May 23, 2012
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 3:52 pm Post subject: |
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they don't really expect an answer so I just say fine...
Only get worried when they keep asking. Or if you are on the (wrong side) of a breakdown, clearing away kleenex, spend 10 minutes ignoring everyones comments and then... 'are you ok'... yeah sure... In this job, I know at least some really care but you still can't just say how lousy you really feel. |
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Noah_Antrim_Lottick
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 14, 2010
Age: 47
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 6:38 am Post subject: Well.... |
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They ask because of my responses and mannerisms about 10-20 percent of the time, I think.
Most of the time they ask because I look physically weary (summer heat or coming indoors from the winter cold). I respond that "oh, yes. If I were not okay, you would know it. I'd be unconscious." (Like if I fell off a roof or something.)
And I back that up, too, with physical toughness. But maybe less toughness in recent years, as I am getting older.
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REMEMBER: 1. Preserve Nature. 2. Always wear a helmet.
3. Ride safely. 4. Read owner's manual carefully before riding. |
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KaminariNoKage
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 02, 2012
Posts: 174
Location: In and Out of Reality
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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"Are you okay?"
My answer: "yeah, why?"
Because I figured it was something people wanted to hear and forced them to explain their reason for asking.
"How are you doing?"
My answer for most of my life: "Good" (sometimes "good, you?")
Because it was a default answer which I assumed was appropriate for small talk, not because it was true. I blame foreign language books. About 2 years ago, I decided to get clever and swap "good" for "okay" or "horrible, how about you?" - usually I would determine which I use at the start of the week. |
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Azereiah
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 18, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 51
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:08 pm Post subject: |
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Depends on who asks.
Random people, and people I don't know very well? I generally say "Yeah, I'm doing great today. How about you?" with a smile, or something along those lines, and they don't pursue that subject any further.
People I'm close to, though, I'll more often be truthful about. If they care enough to ask beyond "No, I'm not okay," then they're in the mood to help. |
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ooo
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 09, 2012
Posts: 494
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:22 am Post subject: |
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"Yeah, I'm good. How about you?"
<they answer.>
"Glad to hear it. It sure is a sunny day..." |
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Budfarmer
Blue Jay
Joined: May 01, 2012
Posts: 78
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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My recent reply (one I've been trying out) to the question "How are you?" has been "Alright so far". People smile and keep walking and I get the end the conversation there.
_________________
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
-----------------------------------
AS quotient: Scored 42
Your Aspie score: 175 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
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1000Knives
It's not difficult if you know how.
Joined: Jul 09, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 4726
Location: CT, USA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:56 pm Post subject: |
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I always say I'm fine. However, 99% of the time, people ask if I'm OK/all right, when I'm perfectly fine. I think it's kinda like the "Sad Keanu" meme. http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/053/379/Untitled-2.jpg . Keanu was like "No, I wasn't sad in that picture." Then someone posted a comment something along the lines of "It's called being deep in thought, maybe you should try it sometime." So I guess that's what happens to me.
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aSKperger
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 13, 2012
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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Hate the "how are you" question... My favorite answer is "how I look" - it shuts them down  |
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