Washi
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 26, 2010
Posts: 729
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 Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Wreck-Gar wrote: | | Washi wrote: | | Wreck-Gar wrote: | | Washi wrote: |
Hopefully the teachers will know better. That just reminded me of something though, when I was in high school there was an Asian girl who I'm pretty sure was special ed/special needs who would I would occasionally see sitting all alone at a completely empty table in a corner of the cafeteria. Whenever she was there I always sat across from her, the first time I did I could tell it freaked her out because she apparently did not know how to communicate with me. So I never said anything, when she realized I was content to sit there everyday without saying anything she seemed happy and relieved. I never did find out her name or what was going on with her - she may have been deaf, autistic or had mild downs and I did wonder if she also didn't speak English. |
Gah. *Adds to list of fears of what will happen to my kid.* |
I didn't mean it like that, sorry! |
It's ok, my son is not exactly the "sitting in the corner with his head hanging down" type anyway. |
Mine either, what I meant was that if your son won't talk under some circumstances people are likely to innocently suspect that he doesn't speak English. |
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Washi
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 26, 2010
Posts: 729
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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That was 20 years ago.  |
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MomofThree1975
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 14, 2012
Posts: 367
Location: NYC
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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My biggest fear is that my son wont be able to take care of himself and will be dependent on others. I feel my goal is to make him as independent as possible. I am lookig at school as a rehersal for life. It sounds bad but I am not all that concern about his grades, when he starts getting them (he is only 3 yo), I am more interested in working on his self help skills. As the years go by, the focus will be teach him how to figure out his own ways for doing things himself.
On a different note, something clicked and he has begun pulling up his pants after he uses the bathroom and putting on his sandals, with minimal coaxing. Apparently he just needed lots and lots and lots of practice. |
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Mama_to_Grace
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 02, 2009
Posts: 915
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 8:32 pm Post subject: |
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| My biggest fear is that my daughter will always have this debilitating anxiety and will never feel confident or secure enough to live on her own. And my other fear is that she will be taken advantage of in some horrible way or experience a traumatic situation which would scar her sensitive disposition. |
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Wreck-Gar
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 20, 2011
Posts: 950
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 10:05 am Post subject: |
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| Washi wrote: | | That was 20 years ago. |
It's ok, no problem. |
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Wreck-Gar
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 20, 2011
Posts: 950
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 10:06 am Post subject: |
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| cyberdad wrote: | | Wreck-Gar wrote: | | That he will eventually get diagnosed with "The big R." |
To me that's the least of my worries. |
Well the way I see it, if he's the big R then it's a lot less likely he will be able to live independently in the future.
Anyway his teachers keep telling me how smart he is... |
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zette
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 28, 2011
Posts: 589
Location: California
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 5:01 pm Post subject: |
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| My biggest worries are depression/suicide due to being bullied (thankfully no bullying happening yet) and being unable to use his bright mind for college and fulfilling work, instead ending up as the guy living in his parents house wearing sweatpants and playing video games 24/7 because he can't hold down a job. |
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cyberdad
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 22, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 1709
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Wreck-Gar wrote: | | cyberdad wrote: | | Wreck-Gar wrote: | | That he will eventually get diagnosed with "The big R." |
To me that's the least of my worries. |
Well the way I see it, if he's the big R then it's a lot less likely he will be able to live independently in the future.
Anyway his teachers keep telling me how smart he is... |
Well, I suppose the r-word may have an association with some aspects of living independently but our society has a habit of labeling when minor behavioral traits appear together. If your child is able to look after himself then to me that's more important than what people label him.
It's a step-wise process of priority, obviously nobody wants their child labelled. |
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Wreck-Gar
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 20, 2011
Posts: 950
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 7:43 am Post subject: |
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| cyberdad wrote: |
Well, I suppose the r-word may have an association with some aspects of living independently but our society has a habit of labeling when minor behavioral traits appear together. If your child is able to look after himself then to me that's more important than what people label him.
It's a step-wise process of priority, obviously nobody wants their child labelled. |
I'm talking more along the lines of actually having a low IQ, never learning to talk or do much else, and ending up living in a group home or something like that.  |
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cyberdad
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 22, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 1709
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| Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 11:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Wreck-Gar wrote: | | cyberdad wrote: |
Well, I suppose the r-word may have an association with some aspects of living independently but our society has a habit of labeling when minor behavioral traits appear together. If your child is able to look after himself then to me that's more important than what people label him.
It's a step-wise process of priority, obviously nobody wants their child labelled. |
I'm talking more along the lines of actually having a low IQ, never learning to talk or do much else, and ending up living in a group home or something like that. |
Isn't that a separate issue then? Having a normal range IQ (> 90) means you automatically can't be labelled retarded. Being "called" retarded is another matter and has little to do with actual intelligence and more to do with displaying social in-group traits and demonstrating functionality and independence. |
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Wreck-Gar
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 20, 2011
Posts: 950
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 12:59 am Post subject: |
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| cyberdad wrote: |
Isn't that a separate issue then? Having a normal range IQ (> 90) means you automatically can't be labelled retarded. Being "called" retarded is another matter and has little to do with actual intelligence and more to do with displaying social in-group traits and demonstrating functionality and independence. |
Yeah what I mean is an actual R diagnosis. |
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daclark5
Butterfly
Joined: May 21, 2012
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:16 pm Post subject: Just questions |
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| How do you communicate your fears with your child, are you open or do you try and shelter them? What age do you tell your child they have autism or aspergers? The students I teach are high functioning and in elementary school, some of the parents aren't even on the same page with if their child truly has ASD. I understand the fears of if your child will be a happy productive adult. I know some of the adults I have worked with have ASD, and they can be treated poorly by adults. I guess I question what is typical anymore, with the latest stats showing ASD in 1 of every 88 kids. |
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daclark5
Butterfly
Joined: May 21, 2012
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:25 pm Post subject: Re: What is your biggest fear for your child with Autism? |
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| claudia wrote: | | cyberdad wrote: | | daclark5 wrote: | | I work with students with autism and I would like to hear what a parent's biggest fear is? |
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Our biggest fear is if both my wife and I were to pass away or get really sick or incapacitated. There is nobody I would trust to look after my daughter. |
This is my biggest fear too, but I have so many fears that I'm not going to list. I take care of my son for all my days when I don't work and I'm exhausted, but, as I said, I don't trust others. To tell the truth, there's no one who can't wait to care for him as well. |
That is a huge fear. I can't imagine what that must feel like. I am sure that is something you have to plan for when they are quite young. |
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daclark5
Butterfly
Joined: May 21, 2012
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Washi wrote: | | Some of my biggest fears are that he'll run off and get hit by a car or drown in someone's swimming pool. That he will always need me and I will not be able to provide for him. That he will become violent and too big for me to handle. That he will be bullied or molested and unable to tell me. I could go on but don't care to. |
I am sorry if I stirred up some pain. I am just trying to understand, and your input has been helpful. Please know that as a special education teacher I do care about what you are telling me. Thank you for your time. |
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daclark5
Butterfly
Joined: May 21, 2012
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:38 pm Post subject: Fears |
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| Going back to the big R label. I think people are more compassionate to a child or adult who is mentally impaired. I think people fear what they can't see. I remember my friend coming home from the pediatrician, where she learned her son has autism. Her life changed forever on that day, but her biggest fear was that her son looked "normal" and that no one would be able to see that there was something wrong with him, until perhaps it was too late and he got physically hurt. She felt if they could see his autism he would be treated better. Do you feel that way? |
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