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angryguy91
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 48
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 Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 3:51 pm Post subject: Taken down by change |
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Ever since senior year, my life was more or less decent, but now my life has been completely thrown away recently thanks to the fact I moved away from my childhood home. Yes, I'm a 19 year old aspie who hasn't gotten completely serious with college yet and when I do start formulating a plan to get serious, my parents drop the bomb on me that we're moving. REALLY?! It takes me freakin' 17 years to actually get some semblance of a life in my childhood home! The majority of my middle school and high school years were wasted since I couldn't socialize for sh** so I became a social recluse. But hey, I get lucky and I actually find friends to chill with. For once in my life, I'm actually going out to places with friends, not with my parents or relatives. But no, my parents had to f***ing ruin it by wanting to move to the city!!! Great, now I have lost my childhood home I have come to know and love. It was a nice suburban home filled with all my best and also my worst memories. It was truly a place that made me happy, but nope, in the course of a month, my parents gave it up to live in some freakin' townhouse in the city! The connection to my best memories, GONE! I f***ing hate change and this is what I get?! Before this move even happened, I had anxiety issues for a year so I couldn't even make the most of my life for the last year! I start to get over it and then my dad announces we're moving! God damn!
I can't believe it! |
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2wheels4ever
Just Another Weirdo From L.A.
Joined: May 04, 2012
Age: 41
Posts: 1335
Location: Losing status at the high school
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| Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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| I often feel my family has a shitbomb they are waiting to set off right when I am just about to make headway somewhere. I completely know the feeling of being screwed over |
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SilkySifaka
Lemur
Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1396
Location: UK
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| Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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| That sounds like such a nightmare, and I completely understand what you mean about losing the connection to your memories. When my parents moved out of the first apartment that we lived in (when I was about 6) I found that traumatic and I never got attached to the places we lived after that. I hit real difficulties when I had to move 260 miles away from my home city. It has taken me over a year to adjust and I still find it difficult. Nothing is familiar, it is so exhausting trying to make things feel OK here. In two years time we will be moving away from here to wherever Mr Silky can get a job and so I will have to go through this all over again. I feel sick with anxiety just thinking about it. |
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angryguy91
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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I'm so thankful that there are people who understand the feeling I'm going through. I know I can;t have the world bend to my whim, but to me, to see my life thrown away just because my parents had this crazy idea to retire to the city... its horrible. I feel socially deprived again like I did in high school. Sure I can visit my friends often still, but its horrible. When I go to my hometown, my life is absolutely tied to my friends now and let's face it, we aspies hate when we can't get our alone time. Going back to my hometown means I'm always with friends because I depend them on for my livelihood now. They provide me with a place to sleep or else I'm sleeping in my car or having to waste gas on a 60 mile trip. Also if I make the mistake of going to my hometown and nobody chilling at the moment, then I have to either drive around aimlessly or just park somewhere and chain smoke until somebody is down to chill. No longer do I have the easy and beautiful option of just staying home until someone is down to hang. If I do want alone time now, then I have to drive back to the city where I will be completely deprived of my friends. I no longer have the choice of easily being to jump from hanging with my friends to getting some alone time at my house.
Its f***ing horrible! I feel like my parents just screwed me out of my life just because they thought I "unmotivated". They move me to the city and say that it a new environment to help me, but I now I feel like I have no purpose and don't care to try at life anymore. Back in my hometown, I actually had something to live for. You want to hear something funny. My parents have never trusted me to stay home by myself for more than two days, but they finally decide to let me stay home for two weeks when I live up in the city...disconnected from my friends, my life. None of my friends want to come up to the city so I can't take advantage of the empty house for a party. Back in my hometown I could of thrown a huge banger since there were always people looking for a party, but my parents ripped me away from that opportunity I worked all my high school years for. Last year, I missedo ut a massive party because my parents took me to Europe with them because they couldn't trust me. So yeah, I spent two weeks in Europe with my parents, my dad's friend, and his toddler son. Yeah, three adults and a little kid were my company in Europe... even my uncle (he my only company now since I live in the city) thought it was cruel of my parents to drag an 18 year old to Europe since he knows that doesn't offer any social opportunities for me. I could of stayed home in America and been with friends that actually make me happy, but nope.
f**k my life! I know it is sad that simply change has me fallen so far, but this feeling of being "screwed over" is so familiar to me. I have always felt it and as I gotten older, it has only gotten worse and worse! I'll have something going for me and then it taken away from me and I'm forced to wiggle through depression and negativity. I'm 19, almost 20, but my social life has just been thrown in the shithole again.
I can;t manage my social life in my hometown from the city. I can't attend parties anymore because A) I can't make them anymore and B) is it harder to stay in-touch with what parties are happening from the city. My parents have f**** with me! This is an inane! I'm sorry guys, but I'm legitimately freaking as I write this because ONCE AGAIN I LOST THE ONLY GOOD sh** IN MY LIFE!!!! They tell me to make new friends, restart my f***ing life, but its NOT easy!!!
I've been f****! |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87148
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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2wheels4ever
Just Another Weirdo From L.A.
Joined: May 04, 2012
Age: 41
Posts: 1335
Location: Losing status at the high school
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 12:10 am Post subject: |
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They say when life gives you lemons, squeeze 'em!
I see a way to adapt to the situation: Sprinter conversion, having your own alone time on wheels. When friends are too busy, hang out in the Walmart parking lot or somewhere else you can chill. When they want to be too social, walk into the back and get your special interest on. Best of both worlds |
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angryguy91
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 4:09 pm Post subject: |
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I feel like I couldve stopped my parents, but I was too hung up on the belief that we would never move. Also I avoid talking to my parents since it is awkward. My parents one day pulled me into the offices and told me specifically they were checking out townhouses in the city (they blatantly told me they had the intent of doing something that would wreck my life) and I did nothing. I voiced my displeasure, but wasn't vocal because I just thought it was some far future thing. I even asked my dad when they would plan to do this and he told me it was far off and shooed me off. I had lived with this f***ing as*hole for 19 years and I was too socially stupid to pick up on the fact that he lied to me then and there. The fact that he abruptly answered my inquiry with "This is a far future thing" in an annoyed voice would of tipped off any NT (actually he wouldn't of lied to me if I was a NT), but no, I was too caught up with my anxiety issues to seriously believe my dad would actually go through with this.
I found out a month or so later we were moving and it WAS TOO LATE!!! I have better things to worry about. I can't afford to be depressed. My relationship with my parents already sucked!!! Now that they moved, they knowingly done something that would give me profound meltdowns, but they don't care, they just assume I'm a worthless idiot that doesn't care about his life and just wants to be bum. All my dad tells me to do is "Join the military" just because I haven't taken college seriously (even though back in my hometown we had plenty of 20-somethings still f***ing around with the community college. I'm only 19) yet. Unfortunately his piece of sh** mind won't allow him to comphrend the fact that it is harder to deal with SCHOOL and WORK if you naturally don't feel COMFORTABLE AROUND f***ing PEOPLE!!!! |
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2wheels4ever
Just Another Weirdo From L.A.
Joined: May 04, 2012
Age: 41
Posts: 1335
Location: Losing status at the high school
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 9:07 pm Post subject: |
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| angryguy91 wrote: | | All my dad tells me to do is "Join the military" just because I haven't taken college seriously (even though back in my hometown we had plenty of 20-somethings still f***ing around with the community college. I'm only 19) yet. Unfortunately his piece of sh** mind won't allow him to comphrend the fact that it is harder to deal with SCHOOL and WORK if you naturally don't feel COMFORTABLE AROUND f***ing PEOPLE!!!! |
It's my understanding since coming to WP that the military won't take aspies. I would hope that an official 'unfit for service' letter from the recruiter would open your parents' eyes to the truth but I can already tell it wouldn't mean squat to them but at least you'd have something tangible to show them 'see? I told you'. Maybe what is called for is a new special interest that gets their knickers in a twist. Any good with power tools or anything else that makes loud noises? Or possibly, become a little 'too' social by making acquaintances with the kinds of people who cause them to roll up their windows and check the door locks. After meeting your new 'friends' they'll be glad to give you all the alone time you need |
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angryguy91
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 7:09 pm Post subject: |
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| 2wheels4ever wrote: | | angryguy91 wrote: | | All my dad tells me to do is "Join the military" just because I haven't taken college seriously (even though back in my hometown we had plenty of 20-somethings still f***ing around with the community college. I'm only 19) yet. Unfortunately his piece of sh** mind won't allow him to comphrend the fact that it is harder to deal with SCHOOL and WORK if you naturally don't feel COMFORTABLE AROUND f***ing PEOPLE!!!! |
It's my understanding since coming to WP that the military won't take aspies. I would hope that an official 'unfit for service' letter from the recruiter would open your parents' eyes to the truth but I can already tell it wouldn't mean squat to them but at least you'd have something tangible to show them 'see? I told you'. Maybe what is called for is a new special interest that gets their knickers in a twist. Any good with power tools or anything else that makes loud noises? Or possibly, become a little 'too' social by making acquaintances with the kinds of people who cause them to roll up their windows and check the door locks. After meeting your new 'friends' they'll be glad to give you all the alone time you need |
Sorry about my last post, I'm just angry that my life was thrown away in a split second decision and now I can't even regain it.
My parents hated my old friends, but that was because I never really stopped them from screwing up things at my house. I have always disliked my dad and it shown in the fact that I allowed them to trash things in my home. I regret that because I ultimately felt if I did what any NT would do and actually properly hid all the bad sh** from my parents, I wouldn't be living in a different city now.
And yeah, all my friends talked about how they had to sign a "draft form", but I never received such a thing. I always felt useless all my life, but now I am forced to confront that feeling head-on again because of my damn parents. I know the world doesn't revolve around me, but jesus christ, I have too much sh** going on for me! Like really, all this grief because they decided to move. I already had my problems (mainly anxiety), but now I'm faced with a f**** more of sh** because my parents moved me to a new environment where I have no friends or life. I felt proud of myself for being to get out of my house and have friends to hang with (an opportunity I never had in high school), but my parents stole it from me and now I'm forced to feel like I did in high school. Sit in my house all day, whereas back at my hometown, I could decide whether I wanted to enjoy alone time or go out and my parents ripped that away from me.
the only thing that made me feel important... I hate the fact my dad can't comprehend how taking away an identity from aspie is way more devastating to them then a NT. I worked hard to have a social life and being able to get out of my house to hang with friends, now it is taken away and I'm forced to be in the utter unfamiliar again. Atleast when I had no friends in my hometown, I had my house filled with good times and memories from my childhood. That house really did keep me sane. |
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