J-Greens
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 20, 2011
Posts: 669
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 Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 4:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Kurgan wrote: | | Would you make the first move on anyone if the tables were turned and men had the passive role? I don't think most men here (including me) would. |
Are you saying that if, just if, a girl asked me out, I turn her down? ... speechless. You could not be more wrong. Ever. After 24 f***ing years of nothing, you think I'd turn ANY girl down?
| Kurgan wrote: |
Correct. That's why men wouldn't bother hitting on women if the culture changed. If some woman didn't want them, there would always be other ones hitting on them. |
That's the attitude women have already. Even normal guys would be so shocked if a girl actually hit-on-them they would not turn her down. Not once.
I half suspect Kurgan's being sarcastic here...I really hope.
I've repeatedly thought about turning into a complete bastard and oppose every value I hold - you know, respect, manners etc...if I got just ONE date because of it. |
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edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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| J-Greens wrote: | | Are you saying that if, just if, a girl asked me out, I turn her down? ... speechless. You could not be more wrong. Ever. After 24 f***ing years of nothing, you think I'd turn ANY girl down? |
Nobody goes after anyone who will take just anybody, so it's not a situation you're likely to run into. |
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Kurgan
I'm always right
Joined: Apr 07, 2012
Age: 24
Posts: 1718
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 6:01 pm Post subject: |
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| J-Greens wrote: |
Are you saying that if, just if, a girl asked me out, I turn her down? ... speechless. You could not be more wrong. Ever. After 24 f***ing years of nothing, you think I'd turn ANY girl down?
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Let's say that the dating culture changed over night 15 years ago and since then, women were the one's who had to make the first move and by now, this was the established standard. Would you accept most of the girls hitting on YOU? Would you bother to make the first move on a girl if girls were the ones who were supposed to make the first move on you? Don't hate girls; if anything, hate the current designated standards.
| Kurgan wrote: |
I half suspect Kurgan's being sarcastic here...I really hope.
I've repeatedly thought about turning into a complete bastard and oppose every value I hold - you know, respect, manners etc...if I got just ONE date because of it. |
I'm being tongue-in-cheek, not sarcastic. Why risk rejection, public humiliation and all that if you can get away by being passive? Let's rephrase it: Would you bother to write applications for jobs if potential employers offered you one well-paid job after another and were competing against other employers to hire you? |
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TheSunAlsoRises
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 02, 2011
Posts: 1039
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 10:31 am Post subject: |
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"For success in science and art a dash of autism is essential." --Hans Asperger
" For success in dating and love a dash of assholitis is essential." --TheSunAlsoRises
TheSunAlsoRises |
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J-Greens
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 20, 2011
Posts: 669
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| Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 10:43 am Post subject: |
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| Kurgan wrote: | | Let's say that the dating culture changed over night 15 years ago and since then, women were the one's who had to make the first move and by now, this was the established standard. Would you accept most of the girls hitting on YOU? |
To be honest, I can't even picture it. Multiple girls asking me out? There are like, millions of guys better than me to date. I can't picture it. I can picture shy girls asking me out awkwardly and I would always accept if I was still in this situation and without a girlfriend.
| Kurgan wrote: | | Would you bother to make the first move on a girl if girls were the ones who were supposed to make the first move on you? Don't hate girls; if anything, hate the current designated standards. ? |
I would go after a girl I partcularly felt attracted to, just because I didn't want her to go to some douche who didn't deserve her, but yes I already hate this current standard.
| Kurgan wrote: | | I'm being tongue-in-cheek, not sarcastic. Why risk rejection, public humiliation and all that if you can get away by being passive? Let's rephrase it: Would you bother to write applications for jobs if potential employers offered you one well-paid job after another and were competing against other employers to hire you? |
If one job was special enough to almost shine through every other opportunity I would personally make it my mission to get that job. |
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Warsie
Lolicon Black Nationalist
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 2895
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 1:03 pm Post subject: |
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| J-Greens wrote: |
That's the attitude women have already. Even normal guys would be so shocked if a girl actually hit-on-them they would not turn her down. Not once. |
Not too sure....
_________________
I am a Star Wars Fan, Warsie here.
Masterdebating on chi-city's south side.......!
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JanuaryMan
Aspierational
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 2548
Location: Hants, UK
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 1:18 pm Post subject: |
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lol some of us guys have standards, thanks.
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"A man is but the product of his thoughts - what he thinks, he becomes." - Mahatma Gandhi |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 1:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Warsie wrote: | | J-Greens wrote: |
That's the attitude women have already. Even normal guys would be so shocked if a girl actually hit-on-them they would not turn her down. Not once. |
Not too sure.... |
I've turned down basically every woman who has ever asked me out, simply because she's not what I'm interested in, I'm sure she might be perfectly nice but eh.. no. |
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J-Greens
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 20, 2011
Posts: 669
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 1:51 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for the confidence booster guys, real nice. 
As for "Standards", I see "Barriers" as if having AS was bad enough you want to limit yourself to a tightly defined niche, who may or may not appreciate the difficulties of AS? I mean we're here on on WP for a reason... |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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| J-Greens wrote: | Thanks for the confidence booster guys, real nice.
As for "Standards", I see "Barriers" as if having AS was bad enough you want to limit yourself to a tightly defined niche, who may or may not appreciate the difficulties of AS? I mean we're here on on WP for a reason... |
So? You're intimating that because we have a problem we should simply accept whatever we can get? Talk about a confidence killer. |
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J-Greens
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 20, 2011
Posts: 669
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 2:04 pm Post subject: |
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It's hardly a confidence killer, it's the truth. We're not NT. We can't do the things we want to do, or become the people we want to be. If we were all happy with our dating lives why would we need L&D?
I don't expect any sort of NT relationship, with NT people - enough of them have already said that I'm not NT. So instead of having expectations and demands, I'm just open to any sort of relationship, even - even if it's negative. Because it's better than this. Which is nothing. |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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| J-Greens wrote: | It's hardly a confidence killer, it's the truth. We're not NT. We can't do the things we want to do, or become the people we want to be. If we were all happy with our dating lives why would we need L&D?
I don't expect any sort of NT relationship, with NT people - enough of them have already said that I'm not NT. So instead of having expectations and demands, I'm just open to any sort of relationship, even - even if it's negative. Because it's better than this. Which is nothing. |
See, I look at it differently. I'd rather have nothing than throw my hands up and compromise.
How is your perspective fair to the other person? You aren't with them because you genuinely like them, want to be with them, or want to share your life with them. You're with them because you feel they are the best you can do. Maybe you aren't the best they can do, but by you doing what you are doing, they will never know. |
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Kurgan
I'm always right
Joined: Apr 07, 2012
Age: 24
Posts: 1718
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 2:46 pm Post subject: |
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| rabbittss wrote: | | J-Greens wrote: | It's hardly a confidence killer, it's the truth. We're not NT. We can't do the things we want to do, or become the people we want to be. If we were all happy with our dating lives why would we need L&D?
I don't expect any sort of NT relationship, with NT people - enough of them have already said that I'm not NT. So instead of having expectations and demands, I'm just open to any sort of relationship, even - even if it's negative. Because it's better than this. Which is nothing. |
See, I look at it differently. I'd rather have nothing than throw my hands up and compromise.
How is your perspective fair to the other person? You aren't with them because you genuinely like them, want to be with them, or want to share your life with them. You're with them because you feel they are the best you can do. Maybe you aren't the best they can do, but by you doing what you are doing, they will never know. |
It's a choice that many men are fored to make because of the geavy stigma surrounding male inexperience or the fact that a man has been without sex for a long time.. |
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JanuaryMan
Aspierational
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 2548
Location: Hants, UK
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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| J-Greens wrote: | It's hardly a confidence killer, it's the truth. We're not NT. We can't do the things we want to do, or become the people we want to be. If we were all happy with our dating lives why would we need L&D?
I don't expect any sort of NT relationship, with NT people - enough of them have already said that I'm not NT. So instead of having expectations and demands, I'm just open to any sort of relationship, even - even if it's negative. Because it's better than this. Which is nothing. |
J-Greens, some of us that come to L&D are the ones giving advice. I'm in a relationship now, and it "just happened" with a girl that has everything I was looking for. There are people here that have been married a long time, in long term relationships. All in all not everyone here is seeking advice or has problems of this nature, to the contrary some are here to learn from experiences others are having, or to help them or to listen to them.
I'm not NT, but I can still walk, talk, breathe, communicate, amass wealth and fortune just like everyone else. I had a high paying job and a city pad. The only reason I don't now is because I didn't take time off work to avoid a meltdown. It's very possible for us to achieve a lot, if we stop believing we are only capable of so little. Even though I'm unemployed I am waiting on some money from bank charges, PPI etc. to come in (and it is coming) so I definitely like to believe fortune and all the good things isn't astronomically limited to NT's.
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"A man is but the product of his thoughts - what he thinks, he becomes." - Mahatma Gandhi |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Kurgan wrote: | | rabbittss wrote: | | J-Greens wrote: | It's hardly a confidence killer, it's the truth. We're not NT. We can't do the things we want to do, or become the people we want to be. If we were all happy with our dating lives why would we need L&D?
I don't expect any sort of NT relationship, with NT people - enough of them have already said that I'm not NT. So instead of having expectations and demands, I'm just open to any sort of relationship, even - even if it's negative. Because it's better than this. Which is nothing. |
See, I look at it differently. I'd rather have nothing than throw my hands up and compromise.
How is your perspective fair to the other person? You aren't with them because you genuinely like them, want to be with them, or want to share your life with them. You're with them because you feel they are the best you can do. Maybe you aren't the best they can do, but by you doing what you are doing, they will never know. |
It's a choice that many men are fored to make because of the geavy stigma surrounding male inexperience or the fact that a man has been without sex for a long time.. |
No one forces you to make that choice. I'd rather do without, forever, than settle. |
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