AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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 Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:44 am Post subject: |
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| Oh wow you guys that is good stuff. I didn't realised that I have to do that way!? Well I try, but a little confused about the points based on vague and that etc. |
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Senath
Deinonychus
Joined: May 17, 2012
Posts: 357
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:50 am Post subject: |
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I disagree about the public transportation in relationships. I used the Internet to get a boyfriend/fiance, and now I use him to facilitate most of my other social relationships. 
But seriously, I dislike women and girls for many reasons, and annoying sensitivity is one of them. Not all women are so self-conscious that they're going to be offended by you saying that a piece of chicken has a lot of fat on it. I fear, however, that most will. But do you really want to get involved with someone who takes offense to that kind of comment? Trust me, there are those who won't. It might not be easy, but I say look for those people instead trying to get romantically involved with someone that you will forever have to walk on eggshells with.
I agree with what other posters said. Joking is a great way to bow out gracefully. Self-depreciation and honest remorse are the ways to go if you've committed a social faux pas. You have to get vulnerable a little so that they'll feel more at ease getting vulnerable with you. |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12498
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:38 am Post subject: |
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| Senath wrote: | I disagree about the public transportation in relationships. I used the Internet to get a boyfriend/fiance, and now I use him to facilitate most of my other social relationships.
But seriously, I dislike women and girls for many reasons, and annoying sensitivity is one of them. Not all women are so self-conscious that they're going to be offended by you saying that a piece of chicken has a lot of fat on it. I fear, however, that most will. But do you really want to get involved with someone who takes offense to that kind of comment? Trust me, there are those who won't. It might not be easy, but I say look for those people instead trying to get romantically involved with someone that you will forever have to walk on eggshells with.
I agree with what other posters said. Joking is a great way to bow out gracefully. Self-depreciation and honest remorse are the ways to go if you've committed a social faux pas. You have to get vulnerable a little so that they'll feel more at ease getting vulnerable with you. |
Theres a saying that should be thought of every time someone makes a comment about people going for the wrong type of person.
"beggars cant be choosers" |
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mike_br
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Posts: 202
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 10:52 am Post subject: Re: Problem speaking to women |
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| AussieMatty wrote: | | Got same point? I can't hear! I am Happy! I don't need speech therapy. People need attitude therapy because of their bad and nasty reactions. |
Only you aren't:
| AussieMatty wrote: | | Geeze, I am so sick and tired of being myself for all of this! How I can get out of this curse? |
First, work that attitude. The world owes you nothing. Peope don't need theraphy to deal with you. You are the odd ball.
Understanding that, you can deal with it just fine. Please don't get into that bad place where some people say "NTs should bow before my might.". Accept your difference and work with it.
Some tips about women:
- never say fat.
- never say they are ugly. (if you must, just tell her you're not attracted).
- never say (for men and women) that a handicap sucks. She knows that, pointing it out is bad.
- find something you like (no erotic references like boobs, ass etc, unless you're real close please) and say something nice: praise her smile, hair, voice, eyes whatever.
- give chocolats
- listen
Good luck |
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waitykatie
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 19, 2012
Posts: 206
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 12:14 pm Post subject: |
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| JanuaryMan wrote: | | Plus if you do say anything offensive by accident you will be able to get away with it more and things generally will end up more comfortable for you. |
LOL, so true!  My Aspie never hesitates to note what a f-up he is, even when he hasn't f-d up at all. It's a very endearing quality, revealing such vulnerability - especially in contrast with his professional success. It's a major reason I have always (rightly or wrongly) let him get away with damn near anything! |
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nick007
old-skewl fan-boy
Joined: May 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 9744
Location: was Louisiana but moved in with my girlfreind in Vermont
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 12:56 pm Post subject: Re: Problem speaking to women |
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Unintentionally offending people is a major problem I have with NTs especially the women. Maybe your like me OP & simply are not compatible with the standard NT women because your too direct, straight-forward, don't pick up on the subtle hints, & listen to what women say instead of analyzing their actions with NT logic. Maybe it would help if you could figure out how to meet women that had some AS traits/issues/characteristics or were more direct with things. I had much better luck with those types of women. & my current relationship is going really well; she's not sure if she's an Aspie but she does have some Aspie traits & is direct with me & not offended by me being direct.
_________________
For info about where I've been & what's up with me check this post~
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5105431.html&highlight=#5105431 |
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AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:12 pm Post subject: Re: Problem speaking to women |
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| nick007 wrote: | | Unintentionally offending people is a major problem I have with NTs especially the women. Maybe your like me OP & simply are not compatible with the standard NT women because your too direct, straight-forward, don't pick up on the subtle hints, & listen to what women say instead of analyzing their actions with NT logic. Maybe it would help if you could figure out how to meet women that had some AS traits/issues/characteristics or were more direct with things. I had much better luck with those types of women. & my current relationship is going really well; she's not sure if she's an Aspie but she does have some Aspie traits & is direct with me & not offended by me being direct. |
Please watch the first video in my last post. There are answers about it. Like I said, I didn't know! I can't know if that is right or wrong. If I have not said anything, then there no such friendships or social interactions between me and the person. The person will see me much more weirder, stranger and creepier if there are no words to be said.
Just watch the first video. That answers your response. Spread the word about my videos!
_________________
Kind regards.
Matty.
Blog: http://theadventuresofaussiematt.blogspot.com.au/
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/SuperFireitup |
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aussiebloke
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 15, 2009
Age: 37
Posts: 3878
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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"Talking to a women" for most of us would mean selling out.
Are you a sell out?
I'm not sure what would a male with aspergers would want to do with a women anyway ?
_________________
Theirs a subset of America, adult males who are forgoing ambition ,sex , money ,love ,adventure to sit in a darkened rooms mastering video games - Suicide Bob |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12498
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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| aussiebloke wrote: | "Talking to a women" for most of us would mean selling out.
Are you a sell out?
I'm not sure what would a male with aspergers would want to do with a women anyway ? |
Well, you know, funny stuff like trying to find happiness and not being some cynical jerk online who is simply frustrated at his own shortcomings and his giving up. |
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aussiebloke
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 15, 2009
Age: 37
Posts: 3878
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:08 pm Post subject: |
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| MXH wrote: | | aussiebloke wrote: | "Talking to a women" for most of us would mean selling out.
Are you a sell out?
I'm not sure what would a male with aspergers would want to do with a women anyway ? |
Well, you know, funny stuff like trying to find happiness and not being some cynical jerk online who is simply frustrated at his own shortcomings and his giving up. |
If you lived the life I had you'd stay well away from people to.
What can a person offer some one with aspergers apart from sexing? ,
grief?
_________________
Theirs a subset of America, adult males who are forgoing ambition ,sex , money ,love ,adventure to sit in a darkened rooms mastering video games - Suicide Bob |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12498
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:13 pm Post subject: |
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| aussiebloke wrote: | | MXH wrote: | | aussiebloke wrote: | "Talking to a women" for most of us would mean selling out.
Are you a sell out?
I'm not sure what would a male with aspergers would want to do with a women anyway ? |
Well, you know, funny stuff like trying to find happiness and not being some cynical jerk online who is simply frustrated at his own shortcomings and his giving up. |
If you lived the life I had you'd stay well away from people to.
What can a person offer some one with aspergers apart from sexing? ,
grief? |
I think ive lived enough of mine to understand the concept of giving up. But not why you want everyone else to. As they say, misery loves company.
You make it sound as if having aspergers makes you an alien. You understand the whole "wrong" planet thing is a joke right? |
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aussiebloke
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 15, 2009
Age: 37
Posts: 3878
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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^^^^
Because I see l autistics in their late teens early 20's making the same mistakes that I did at that age and it upsets me.
.I think these people need to get their depression and anxiety issues in order (caused by humans ) and than they can realise the error of their ways. That's why I hope Loner Mutant gets his depression in order (may kill his sex drive) worked for me 
_________________
Theirs a subset of America, adult males who are forgoing ambition ,sex , money ,love ,adventure to sit in a darkened rooms mastering video games - Suicide Bob |
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AussieMatty
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 404
Location: Townsville, Queensland
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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Hold on. It could be women in general. They might find bit insensitive. Its their problem in the way they react. They may be depressed, or whatever. Bad body image, self-esteem issues or don't have trust in guys.
I just wandering around, not giving up while they causing more problems according to their reaction. I didn't had any reaction, that I used to when I was a teenager. Not now. I am too mature for this.
_________________
Kind regards.
Matty.
Blog: http://theadventuresofaussiematt.blogspot.com.au/
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/SuperFireitup |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12498
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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| aussiebloke wrote: | ^^^^
Because I see l autistics in their late teens early 20's making the same mistakes that I did at that age and it upsets me.
.I think these people need to get their depression and anxiety issues in order (caused by humans ) and than they can realise the error of their ways. That's why I hope Loner Mutant gets his depression in order (may kill his sex drive) worked for me |
And i can tell you are still making those mistakes. If giving up were trully the best option, wouldnt you be happy when supporting it? Instead of being cynical and pretending its best to give up early and save yourself the bother yet keep all the angst. |
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