AudaciousLarue
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 17, 2012
Posts: 75
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 Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:08 pm Post subject: I can't smile |
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For those who don't know me, I would be considered "on the autism spectrum." I was diagnosed a while ago, but wasn't told until years later(it makes me feel stupid for not realizing it until I was older).
The thing that bugs me most, and it may just be a coincidence, is I can't smile in most cases. My muscles contract and/or twitch, and I go back to frowning. I've been told I always look sad or, in some cases, showing little expression.
It's hurt me socially. I feel weird for not being able to do something as simple as smiling.
I try, I really do, but just can't smile unless I find something funny, etc. etc.
Is this normal? |
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Hegelian
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't ever smile that much either. I don't ever feel the urge to. Moving my jaw muscles in a certain way accomplishes what, exactly? |
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6265
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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| I can't smile on cue for photos with other people. My mouth twitches as well. I had a really hard time with this during school photos especially. It's kind of embarrassing actually. To be honest, sadly most of my best photos are of me when I'm drunk or if I take them myself. |
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bettalove
Raven
Joined: Mar 16, 2012
Age: 25
Posts: 118
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cathylynn
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 25, 2011
Posts: 2024
Location: northeastern US
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 12:45 am Post subject: |
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| i rarely smile. i can produce a usually satisfactory smile for pictures, though. i also rarely laugh. if i think something is funny, i say "ha, ha". |
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izzeme
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 05, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 1083
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:50 am Post subject: |
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| smiling is very alien for me as well; the closest i can get to it is some kind of 'doctor evil grin'; when my country changed the 'default' for official photos to not allowing a smile, i was very happy, finally no more 10 tries to get something satisfactory... |
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namaste
Enigmatic Charismatically Odd
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Posts: 1841
Location: Hindustan
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 9:51 am Post subject: |
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i was abused as a child i often get comments that i don't smile etc etc.
i dont attribute it to asperger it could be due to abuse
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thewhitrbbit
Phoenix
Joined: May 31, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 2152
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:32 am Post subject: |
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| Smiling on demand is something I have to practice. |
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Shatbat
Fénix
Joined: Feb 20, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 4028
Location: South America
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 1:13 am Post subject: |
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I can believably (I think) smile on demand. It took some research though, and several months of practicing in front of the mirror. At first it was about smiling not only with my mouth but with my eyes, so I had to learn how to move my cheeks slightly up, and independently from other muscles in the face, and then make that movement whenever I had to smile. It also helps a lot to show the teeth instead of just curving your mouth.
Now my smile has dimples if I want it that way, and I look o.k. in photos, so I believe I got that out of the way. I would advise to do the same, practice moving your cheeks in front of the mirror, and learn the differences between a real and a forced smile and work on that.
For starters, try just closing your eyes slightly. It will make a difference.
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Verily I have often laughed at weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws. - Nietzsche |
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6265
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 1:53 am Post subject: |
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| izzeme wrote: | | smiling is very alien for me as well; the closest i can get to it is some kind of 'doctor evil grin'; when my country changed the 'default' for official photos to not allowing a smile, i was very happy, finally no more 10 tries to get something satisfactory... |
I was overjoyed about that as well...except my photos looks really creepy now. Like a psycho mugshot. haha Better than smiling though. |
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6265
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 1:55 am Post subject: |
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| I used to be able to smile for pictures when I was little. That all stopped somewhere between grade 6-8. I could still smile for home photos though. Ever since college though I cannot smile for photos unles I'm drunk or taking a picture of myself when I'm alone and even that takes a few tries. |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:04 am Post subject: |
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| I don't know if it's normal but I don't really smile for photographs and I don't tend to smile in general. I think it can definitely give the wrong impression but I guess my facial expressions just aren't that responsive. |
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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:27 am Post subject: |
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I have the same issue. Some people can be total idiots about it. I only smile when something good happens or I'm laughing, or I see someone I know and like. I dread having my photo taken. People are a bit WTF about it 'why don't you smile?' etc. I've even had bullshit spread around the last place I worked in claiming I was miserable and depressed because I don't walk about smiling all day like a gormless, dribbling f*cktard. Being told to cheer up really began to irritate me, as I was just chilling in a perfectly good mood.
It's also crap when I go to buy something in a shop, I always get terrible service as the paranoid idiot at the counter makes an incorrect assumption because I don't radiate a huge smile at them when I go to pay for something and I also get the same thing when I meet someone new. I have difficulty 'faking' things. |
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Irishcream
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 06, 2012
Age: 31
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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I hear what you guys are saying, but I think any social situation is much improved with a smile. I know if I don't make an effort I actually look angry, but my mood is just neutral. The thing is, my mum told me from an early age that you should always smile, and some how I have. It has really helped me socially (although I still have other aspie traits that get in the way). I notice a huge deference in how people interact with you when you smile or not (the neutral mood for me). The thing is, NTs and perhaps aspies too (think if you talked to someone who looked sad/angry and was talking to you, what would you think of them) assess people on whether they smile, which appears friendly and warm. I can understand being upset by the comments that you get from others because you are not smiling (I do get them too when in an "aspie mood"), but my advice is to practice smiling like Shatbat said.
Irish |
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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:58 pm Post subject: |
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But it's fake. If people choose to ignore what's coming out of my mouth and only focus on the fact that I am not faking a stupid smile, then f*ck them. People either get you or they don't. If they don't, so what.
Last edited by ZX_SpectrumDisorder on Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:00 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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