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pokerface
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 22, 2011
Age: 46
Posts: 600
Location: The Netherlands
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 Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 11:44 am Post subject: When is it important to tell people you have aspergers? |
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I have just started music lessons again because it has a therapeutic effect on me but I am wondering if I should I tell the new teacher I have aspergers.
The teacher gives me lots of verbal information for instance. I have no difficulties whatsoever with processing written information but I do have some difficulties with too much verbal information. I loose my concentration and the information just doesn't sink in anymore.
I'm trying very hard to behave like an NT to make her feel at ease and make her like me but eye contact is still difficult for me and my social skills are way below average. My response to her is probably not as spontaneous and natural as the responses from her other pupils and that thought depresses me. I am as verbal as other aspies but when I get extremely tense (which happens on a regular basis) I'm not able to speak anymore for a short period of time. I am so afraid that that will happen during the lessons.
I want to be liked just as everyone else but that rarely happens. To make a long story short; I am afraid that the teachter will start to see me as a weird and difficult geek as time passes by and starts finding it harder and harder to give me my lessons. NT's like to think that they are more empathetic than us but I haven't experienced that much from NT's during my life. That has toughened me up bigtime and has added an extra dimension to my already odd behavior: an agressive form of bitchiness in daily life.
Telling the teacher I have aspergers may lead to more understanding from her side but on the other hand it may have the opposite effect.
I really don't know what to do and how to behave. |
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Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 30
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Location: Central USA
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 11:51 am Post subject: |
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Try telling her about your specific problems. Rather than saying "Asperger's"--which is a very general thing that she may not know much about--explain that "I have problems understanding instructions if I get too many of them, too fast. Writing them down helps." Things like that. You need some minor accommodations in this class, most likely; when dealing with non-experts, the best thing to do is be very specific about what you need. Just saying you have AS is not going to be specific enough for her to understand your needs.
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pokerface
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 22, 2011
Age: 46
Posts: 600
Location: The Netherlands
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 11:54 am Post subject: |
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| Callista wrote: | | Try telling her about your specific problems. Rather than saying "Asperger's"--which is a very general thing that she may not know much about--explain that "I have problems understanding instructions if I get too many of them, too fast. Writing them down helps." Things like that. You need some minor accommodations in this class, most likely; when dealing with non-experts, the best thing to do is be very specific about what you need. Just saying you have AS is not going to be specific enough for her to understand your needs. |
That is sound advice Callista. Thanks! |
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questor
Hermit
Joined: Apr 24, 2011
Posts: 1983
Location: Twilight Zone
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 12:55 pm Post subject: Processing difficulties |
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I have a "need-to-know" rule. If someone doesn't need to know, I don't tell them. I agree with Callista on how to handle this. Also, ask the teacher if you could bring a tape/cassette recorder, as you have trouble remembering so many verbal instructions. The tape recorder can be a good memory aid for you. I believe there are computer programs that can take verbal input from a person or a recording and convert it to text. You could then make your own notes off the tapes, by way of the computer, edit them for any mistakes made by the PC, and then print them out. 
If you have an ipod or MP3 player, I believe it may be possible to use these to make recordings also, but I'm not sure. I've never had one of these. I tend to be somewhat behind the tech curve. I was years behind everyone else in getting a portable cassette player/recorder. Then I was years behind everyone in getting a CD player, and years behind everyone in getting a VCR player, A DVD player, etc. It seems that by the time I pick up a new tech device, they are starting to phase it out for the next new thing.  But hey! I let everyone else work the bugs out. I will be getting a new HD TV soon, but only because my ancient analog set died. Hey! If it ain't broke, don't fix or replace it. Because of the mountains here I was unable to get any broadcast stations on my old set. I don't have cable or satellite TV service, either, so I was just watching old videos and DVDs. I still have dial-up internet service, too. I plan on upgrading to cable I-net soon, and will buy a Roku when I buy my new TV, so I can get I-net TV without having to pay separately for cable TV service. I will also be upgrading to a new PC soon. One with Win 7, instead of the old PC I have that is running an old version of Ubuntu Linux. I'm not a geek, so I've found Linux isn't right for me. Also, with my dial-up connection I haven't been able to do upgrades on anything for a while. So I am now forced to plunge into several new tech things all around the same time. I am an Aspie and hate change, but needs must. Besides, this is one way I can be less out of step with the world.
Good luck with your music teacher! I love music, but have a voice like a frog and can't play anything.  But at least I can enjoy music made by others! |
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pokerface
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 22, 2011
Age: 46
Posts: 600
Location: The Netherlands
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:16 am Post subject: Re: Processing difficulties |
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| questor wrote: | I have a "need-to-know" rule. If someone doesn't need to know, I don't tell them. I agree with Callista on how to handle this. Also, ask the teacher if you could bring a tape/cassette recorder, as you have trouble remembering so many verbal instructions. The tape recorder can be a good memory aid for you. I believe there are computer programs that can take verbal input from a person or a recording and convert it to text. You could then make your own notes off the tapes, by way of the computer, edit them for any mistakes made by the PC, and then print them out.
If you have an ipod or MP3 player, I believe it may be possible to use these to make recordings also, but I'm not sure. I've never had one of these. I tend to be somewhat behind the tech curve. I was years behind everyone else in getting a portable cassette player/recorder. Then I was years behind everyone in getting a CD player, and years behind everyone in getting a VCR player, A DVD player, etc. It seems that by the time I pick up a new tech device, they are starting to phase it out for the next new thing. But hey! I let everyone else work the bugs out. I will be getting a new HD TV soon, but only because my ancient analog set died. Hey! If it ain't broke, don't fix or replace it. Because of the mountains here I was unable to get any broadcast stations on my old set. I don't have cable or satellite TV service, either, so I was just watching old videos and DVDs. I still have dial-up internet service, too. I plan on upgrading to cable I-net soon, and will buy a Roku when I buy my new TV, so I can get I-net TV without having to pay separately for cable TV service. I will also be upgrading to a new PC soon. One with Win 7, instead of the old PC I have that is running an old version of Ubuntu Linux. I'm not a geek, so I've found Linux isn't right for me. Also, with my dial-up connection I haven't been able to do upgrades on anything for a while. So I am now forced to plunge into several new tech things all around the same time. I am an Aspie and hate change, but needs must. Besides, this is one way I can be less out of step with the world.
Good luck with your music teacher! I love music, but have a voice like a frog and can't play anything. But at least I can enjoy music made by others! |
Thanks questor!
I appreciate your reply. |
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Atomsk
Bass Fiend
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 1539
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:21 am Post subject: |
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| Callista wrote: | | Try telling her about your specific problems. Rather than saying "Asperger's"--which is a very general thing that she may not know much about--explain that "I have problems understanding instructions if I get too many of them, too fast. Writing them down helps." Things like that. You need some minor accommodations in this class, most likely; when dealing with non-experts, the best thing to do is be very specific about what you need. Just saying you have AS is not going to be specific enough for her to understand your needs. |
I second this - this is what I often do rather than tell people I have HFA, especially when I'm not sure how they would react or if they would even know about it. |
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