Taybot97
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 23, 2012
Posts: 186
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 Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:58 pm Post subject: Forget you |
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| It's been nearly two weeks since we broke up (which isn't too long but still) and I can't seem to get her out of my head. She was my first real girlfriend, lasted five months. However if it were up to me it would have lasted longer, I still like her but had to break up because she didn't like me anymore. Yet my scumbag mind almost always finds a way to connect my current thought to her. This isn't even because I'm trying to move on with another girl, I can guarantee that not happening until school in August and likely much later. I just want move on with myself, it will never work with her and I know that. So what do I need to do to forget her? |
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SilkySifaka
Lemur
Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1396
Location: UK
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 1:28 pm Post subject: |
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| I think you just need time, 2 weeks is very soon to be 'over' someone. If you can keep yourself busy with your interests, or friends then eventually you will start to think of her less and less. I hope you feel better soon. |
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Lexa
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 30, 2012
Posts: 43
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 2:02 pm Post subject: Re: Forget you |
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| Taybot97 wrote: | | It's been nearly two weeks since we broke up (which isn't too long but still) and I can't seem to get her out of my head. She was my first real girlfriend, lasted five months. However if it were up to me it would have lasted longer, I still like her but had to break up because she didn't like me anymore. Yet my scumbag mind almost always finds a way to connect my current thought to her. This isn't even because I'm trying to move on with another girl, I can guarantee that not happening until school in August and likely much later. I just want move on with myself, it will never work with her and I know that. So what do I need to do to forget her? |
You need to accept that you will have thoughts about her and that thoughts about other things will inevitably trigger thoughts about her too.
Accept that you will go through a bit of a painful time where memories and feelings will continually be brought to the surface, but also notice how the intensity of this will come in waves that decrease in size over time. Depending on how intensely you feel things normally, it could take a few weeks or a few months for the 'water' to be still completely.
Notice as the impact of the thoughts that always go back to her, decreases over time. <--This will happen. Definitely. |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 874
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 2:16 pm Post subject: |
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| SilkySifaka wrote: | | I think you just need time, 2 weeks is very soon to be 'over' someone. If you can keep yourself busy with your interests, or friends then eventually you will start to think of her less and less. I hope you feel better soon. |
^^^This
Depending on how you felt about her, it's going to take longer than 2 weeks to get over her. Keeping busy will help take your mind off of her. |
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PastFixations
One who will open the door.
Joined: Sep 22, 2011
Posts: 2697
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 2:42 pm Post subject: |
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Like everyone else says it does take time but some point you will think more on wanting someone for that feeling of love rather than the ex.
If it is affecting your health and well being, I suggest trying counselling just once if possible and then going for like a month or so... that is if it is working for you of course.
It took me like 6 months to get over an ex... I know what your going through... Times are tough right now but you come out the other side stronger and more ready.
Please don't pick fault with my opinion as I'm trying to raise the OPs spirits.
_________________
www.wrongplanet.net/postp5013377.html&highlight=#5013377
Sora: "My friends are my power."
Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me." |
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Longshanks
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Posts: 513
Location: At an undisclosed airbase at Shangri-la
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:06 pm Post subject: Re: Forget you |
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| Taybot97 wrote: | | It's been nearly two weeks since we broke up (which isn't too long but still) and I can't seem to get her out of my head. She was my first real girlfriend, lasted five months. However if it were up to me it would have lasted longer, I still like her but had to break up because she didn't like me anymore. Yet my scumbag mind almost always finds a way to connect my current thought to her. This isn't even because I'm trying to move on with another girl, I can guarantee that not happening until school in August and likely much later. I just want move on with myself, it will never work with her and I know that. So what do I need to do to forget her? |
Sigh. Memories. Growing up is a pain in the neck. Having said that, I'm going to try to give you some practical advice. It will take longer than 2 weeks to recover, particularly if you've had sex with her. This is because when you have intercourse there is a physical, an emotional, and, yes a spiritual bonding that takes place. And the problem with the spiritual bonding is that, unlike the other two, it doesn't go away - it always remains with you. A part of her will always be with you and vice versa. And that's why it's a good idea not to complicate things by having sex until you're married - easier said than done, but trust me, it's saved me some serious grief. Now, recovery time: For every month that you are in a relationship, figure about a week to recover. So you'll be down for about five weeks - unless you've had sex - then it's five months (my minor is is psychology). Again - it's the bonding issue.
So, how do you deal with this. Keeping busy with things you like doing that require plenty of concentration is a good start. Get lots of rest. Your body is going through a lot of stess, and it will need the rest and it will make you feel better. Lastly, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself. You'll feel better. Hang in there! We've all been there, and like us, you'll survive!
Longshanks
_________________
Supporter of the Brian Terry Foundation @ www.honorbrianterry.com. Special Agent Brian Terry (1970-2010) was murdered as a direct result of Operation Fast & Furious - which Barry O won't discuss - wonder why? |
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PastFixations
One who will open the door.
Joined: Sep 22, 2011
Posts: 2697
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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^ True, the emotion is still there for a lot longer if you have had sexual intercourse. Though I don't see how the person can still be a part of you unless you contracted an STI or STD...
_________________
www.wrongplanet.net/postp5013377.html&highlight=#5013377
Sora: "My friends are my power."
Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me." |
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Taybot97
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 23, 2012
Posts: 186
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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No sex, too young for that. So I guess as of now that's a bonus to me. The logic that month=week sounds good enough for me so five weeks, three more. And I've noticed when in with friends I think less, might help if I had more friends.
Anyway, keep busy for 3 more weeks and hopefully it should all be good. I'd be happy If I could just not think about her until August when we're guarenteed the same math class. |
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Matt62
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 05, 2012
Age: 51
Posts: 1156
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| Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 8:20 pm Post subject: |
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I still think of the girl that broke my heart..
back in 1987! LOL. You will not ever forget, but the pain will dim in time.
And that is the only remedy, TIME.
Sincerely,
Matthew |
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