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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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 Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 8:58 am Post subject: |
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| spongy wrote: | We all know how I love one sided threads so Im going to provide a few cases of the opposite example just to see if theres any advice:
Im only approached by women that are twice my age, whats up with that?
Last month I was hanging out with a few friends at about 2 AM and some drunk woman that was about twice my age started approaching us asking things to keep us interested(which of you support x soccer team?...) and trying to get touchy with my friends/me.
We excused ourselves pretty fast but the whole thing was odd.
Similar thing happened last summer with a friend of a friend(I made the mistake of going to the graduation of someone that was my mums age) she misunderstood my politeness for having feelings...
Any idea on how to bring the age thing up without offending them? |
Thank you! I was hoping to get to read a variety of experiences. Wish I had some advice for you, but if I knew I wouldn't have asked in the first place.
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth. |
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9301
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:00 am Post subject: |
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| JanuaryMan wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | JanuaryMan wrote: | | smudge wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys. |
Maybe I just see the awkward attempts by men IRL who ask girls out who are out of their league. I see men asking out women far more than vice versa, but I guess that just makes sense (society's rules blah blah). I don't think I've ever seen a big woman asking out a fit guy. |
They do it within the confines of the internet to avoid comments such as the one Boo made. Happens a lot on dating sites, facebook, bebo (*shudders*) etc. but to be honest I don't see how it's different from a Woody Allen chatting up a Scarlett Johansson. |
You make it sounds as if my comment was an insult. |
It wasn't, dude, but they're very mindful of what others think. They don't want to be seen as the little leaguers going after the major league no more than we do. |
I told a fat friend (girl) .who was complaining about why all the guys she likes don't like her back. that she's being illogical in her choice of guys. I was like "I might like tall girls but I don't go for 180 cm tall models because i would be wasting my time, one has to be logical" - she got the message, because she only likes the Marines-type looks of guys (who already have plenty of girls roaming around them), and as expected, they always reject her!
In fact, she was approached by a close guy friend (not fat, just regular) a while ago who was madly in love in with her for years, she rejected him because he wasn't her 'type'.
And she rejected another guy for the same reason yet she feels regret after she knew he got someone else - duh! My point is, she isn't that undesired! but she doesn't give any chance for a guy who's less than a celeb-looking while she's not. Now she wants to go for Restrictive surgery, I am not sure how safe such procedures are.
We should be logical in our potential mate choices, in my opinion.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:00 am; edited 1 time in total |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12487
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:05 am Post subject: |
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| i agree. even though being logical does mean succumbing to your potential. Problem comes when (in my case) youre told youre handsome, and a bunch of other things by girls who have zero interest in you. And following that track it ends that no women have interest in you. what do you do then? |
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Venger
Seal
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 2509
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:24 am Post subject: |
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| Older people in their late 40s or early 50s that aren't very good looking usually weren't that good looking when they were younger either. This seems to be true with lots of famous people from the 80s when you see them now. |
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smudge
Your worst nightmare
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Joined: Sep 07, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 2118
Location: London
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:31 am Post subject: |
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Last edited by smudge on Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:21 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:02 am Post subject: |
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| DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | JanuaryMan wrote: | | smudge wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys. |
Maybe I just see the awkward attempts by men IRL who ask girls out who are out of their league. I see men asking out women far more than vice versa, but I guess that just makes sense (society's rules blah blah). I don't think I've ever seen a big woman asking out a fit guy. |
They do it within the confines of the internet to avoid comments such as the one Boo made. Happens a lot on dating sites, facebook, bebo (*shudders*) etc. but to be honest I don't see how it's different from a Woody Allen chatting up a Scarlett Johansson. |
Physical attractiveness is pretty subjective while age is essentially quantifiable. I think there are a lot of similarities in the comparison, but I also think there are some key differences. |
I'm nearly 10 years older than I look. I get carded buying R rated movies.. yet I've got friends who are a year older than me but look like they should be in their 40's. So age isn't a surefire thing either.. what you are saying is quantifiable is the appearance of age... not the actual # of years a person has been alive. |
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:07 am Post subject: |
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| rabbittss wrote: | | DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | JanuaryMan wrote: | | smudge wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys. |
Maybe I just see the awkward attempts by men IRL who ask girls out who are out of their league. I see men asking out women far more than vice versa, but I guess that just makes sense (society's rules blah blah). I don't think I've ever seen a big woman asking out a fit guy. |
They do it within the confines of the internet to avoid comments such as the one Boo made. Happens a lot on dating sites, facebook, bebo (*shudders*) etc. but to be honest I don't see how it's different from a Woody Allen chatting up a Scarlett Johansson. |
Physical attractiveness is pretty subjective while age is essentially quantifiable. I think there are a lot of similarities in the comparison, but I also think there are some key differences. |
I'm nearly 10 years older than I look. I get carded buying R rated movies.. yet I've got friends who are a year older than me but look like they should be in their 40's. So age isn't a surefire thing either.. what you are saying is quantifiable is the appearance of age... not the actual # of years a person has been alive. |
Thats almost the exact opposite of what I'm saying. I'm saying age is a separate factor from physical appearance.
There is more to aging than getting wrinkles.
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth. |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12487
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:09 am Post subject: |
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| smudge wrote: | | Venger wrote: | | Older people in their late 40s or early 50s that aren't very good looking usually weren't that good looking when they were younger either. This seems to be true with lots of famous people from the 80s when you see them now. |
I dunno, George Michael and Kiefer Sutherland look a bit ugly now. Johnny Depp on the other hand... |
but clooney/pitt/depp all were also pretty in the 80s. Just because they are pretty now isnt proof of women liking older guys more than younger. Its proof that good looking young guys end up being good looking older guys |
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smudge
Your worst nightmare
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Joined: Sep 07, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 2118
Location: London
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:12 am Post subject: |
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Last edited by smudge on Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:20 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:24 am Post subject: |
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| DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | rabbittss wrote: | | DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | JanuaryMan wrote: | | smudge wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys. |
Maybe I just see the awkward attempts by men IRL who ask girls out who are out of their league. I see men asking out women far more than vice versa, but I guess that just makes sense (society's rules blah blah). I don't think I've ever seen a big woman asking out a fit guy. |
They do it within the confines of the internet to avoid comments such as the one Boo made. Happens a lot on dating sites, facebook, bebo (*shudders*) etc. but to be honest I don't see how it's different from a Woody Allen chatting up a Scarlett Johansson. |
Physical attractiveness is pretty subjective while age is essentially quantifiable. I think there are a lot of similarities in the comparison, but I also think there are some key differences. |
I'm nearly 10 years older than I look. I get carded buying R rated movies.. yet I've got friends who are a year older than me but look like they should be in their 40's. So age isn't a surefire thing either.. what you are saying is quantifiable is the appearance of age... not the actual # of years a person has been alive. |
Thats almost the exact opposite of what I'm saying. I'm saying age is a separate factor from physical appearance.
There is more to aging than getting wrinkles. |
Then what you are talking about is Life experience, not physical age. |
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:32 am Post subject: |
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| rabbittss wrote: | | DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | rabbittss wrote: | | DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | | JanuaryMan wrote: | | smudge wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys. |
Maybe I just see the awkward attempts by men IRL who ask girls out who are out of their league. I see men asking out women far more than vice versa, but I guess that just makes sense (society's rules blah blah). I don't think I've ever seen a big woman asking out a fit guy. |
They do it within the confines of the internet to avoid comments such as the one Boo made. Happens a lot on dating sites, facebook, bebo (*shudders*) etc. but to be honest I don't see how it's different from a Woody Allen chatting up a Scarlett Johansson. |
Physical attractiveness is pretty subjective while age is essentially quantifiable. I think there are a lot of similarities in the comparison, but I also think there are some key differences. |
I'm nearly 10 years older than I look. I get carded buying R rated movies.. yet I've got friends who are a year older than me but look like they should be in their 40's. So age isn't a surefire thing either.. what you are saying is quantifiable is the appearance of age... not the actual # of years a person has been alive. |
Thats almost the exact opposite of what I'm saying. I'm saying age is a separate factor from physical appearance.
There is more to aging than getting wrinkles. |
Then what you are talking about is Life experience, not physical age. |
Physical age is relevant. You're all into evopsych and stuff right?
Why would I as a young woman want a mate with lower quality/less sperm?
While not a perfect indicator, age is a pretty good indication of life experience. Someone alive or 40 years isn't going to be on equal footing with someone who is 20 in general.
The issue is people preying on the presumed lack of exp. naivete of people who are very young.
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth. |
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NicoleG
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 661
Location: Dallas-Fort Worth
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:39 am Post subject: |
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| spongy wrote: | | Any idea on how to bring the age thing up without offending them? |
Haha - Wasn't there a comment on your pic that you looked about 30-ish instead of 21? I don't think it's much of a surprise you're getting hit on by older women. Maybe lose the beard and the older women will flounce less?
In the grand scheme of things, I agree with the other poster that mentioned the optimum age range for looks tends to be early to mid 20s. It's simply the more attractive range in general. I think I'm still getting hit on because despite being 35 people still guess I'm 24. When I tell them no, they start guessing younger! 
As an older woman (geez, I can't believe I'm saying that), I do still personally find mid-20-somethings attractive, but that was no different than when I found mid-20-somethings attractive back when I was 16-21 years old. The difference is that while I will drool over how someone looks, dear lord they better have a brain to hold my attention, no matter what age they are. Immaturity can't be figured out just by looking at someone. They could be the cutest eye candy known to man, but I won't date them. |
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NicoleG
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 661
Location: Dallas-Fort Worth
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:42 am Post subject: |
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| spongy wrote: | | Edit: Ive been hanging out with older people lately to work on my social skills(if I make a mistake around a girl now its ok because I wasnt going to date her anyways) and I will move to people my age once Ive made some progress on this area. |
Hm - You might be coming off as simply being older in mentality, especially if you are more mature in your mind than the people you are hanging out with (regardless of their ages). |
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rabbittss
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Posts: 1348
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:42 am Post subject: |
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I'm not especially into evolutionary psychology no. It simply, like other things, has it's uses.
I can understand where you are coming from, but I've been with 19 year old's who are WAAAAAAY more experienced than I'll ever be, and she absolutely tried her damnedest to take advantage of me that way. It lead to some.. awkward..moments and then some fun moments. I don't mind being taken advantage of if it means I can learn from the experience. If it were left up to me to be the sexually dominant one, I'd never get anything.
Is it possible the problem here is less their actual age and more that you don't wish to be patronized too by an older guy who is potentially looking for a younger girl he can "Take care of". |
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Venger
Seal
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 2509
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:56 am Post subject: |
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| MXH wrote: | | smudge wrote: | | Venger wrote: | | Older people in their late 40s or early 50s that aren't very good looking usually weren't that good looking when they were younger either. This seems to be true with lots of famous people from the 80s when you see them now. |
I dunno, George Michael and Kiefer Sutherland look a bit ugly now. Johnny Depp on the other hand... |
but clooney/pitt/depp all were also pretty in the 80s. Just because they are pretty now isnt proof of women liking older guys more than younger. Its proof that good looking young guys end up being good looking older guys |
Usually when you see an ugly older guy he was just average or below average looking in his early 20s. It's funny how people act like age is the only reason even though the person probably never looked that good to begin with. |
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