deltafunction
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 Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:56 am Post subject: Has your workplace tried to "train" you in social |
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I think the subject is self-explanatory, but will elaborate a bit. My workplace knows about my disability, and has no authority in the field of psychology, but had decided that I would be better off knowing how to lead staff in a way that doesn't p**s them off. This was in light of me applying for promotion and not getting it because of my social skills, so they are saying, maybe if I am trained, then I will be promoted.
I'm just thinking, why do they think they can teach me, and do they really think that some one-hour sessions spent with a social person will instantly make me into a social person? I mean, I'm sure it's well-intentioned, but if it were that easy for me to learn social skills, I'm sure I already would have a long time ago. I haven't gone yet, because I'm busy/dreaded it, so I don't know what it would be like...
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Your Aspie score: 93 of 200
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You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits |
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androbot2084
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Joined: Mar 24, 2011
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:37 am Post subject: |
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| Why does the autistic have to be trained? Why can't the neurotypicals be trained to be more tolerant of autistics? |
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deltafunction
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:45 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I agree. Though seeing as I am a minority, I think I'd have to have a large group of aspies raid my workplace to make the NTs feel out of place instead of myself feeling like the odd one out.
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You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits |
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Chris71
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: May 25, 2011
Posts: 196
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:24 am Post subject: |
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| Some aspies (not myself) would interpret that workplace the same as if they wanted everyone to have brown hair or everyone have a certain sized nose: ie genetic non-diversity. |
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opal
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:01 am Post subject: |
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| Did you get knocked back for promotion because you lack social skills or because you piss people off??? They are two different issues. An NT boss can have social skills and still piss people off, and/or be a poor manager. |
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opal
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:55 am Post subject: |
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Sorry, to be more specific, you can be taught some skills such as reflective listening, how to ask questions in an open and non-threatening way, etc etc. These things can be taught. I know because I once volunteered at a crisis line (many years ago before I got old and intolerant) and was actually quite good at it. These would help your prospects.
Trying to teach you to be social , however , may or may not work, and has very little to do with being a good manager IMHO |
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Chris71
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:18 am Post subject: |
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It could be also that the management want to get the feeling that at least they have tried to do something about it.
That feeling of "oh well at least I tried", will at least reassure them that they are trying to be responsible.
What harm can it do? I don't think there's anything to lose by it.
Might be funny ; might be an excellent opportunity for you to point out the highly illogical. It would be an opportunity to demonstrate your intelligence in a good way. |
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deltafunction
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:13 am Post subject: |
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| opal wrote: | | Did you get knocked back for promotion because you lack social skills or because you piss people off??? They are two different issues. An NT boss can have social skills and still piss people off, and/or be a poor manager. |
The words they used were that I might say something that would make the other employees angry.
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Your Aspie score: 93 of 200
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You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits |
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Sweetleaf
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:12 pm Post subject: Re: Has your workplace tried to "train" you in soc |
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| deltafunction wrote: | I think the subject is self-explanatory, but will elaborate a bit. My workplace knows about my disability, and has no authority in the field of psychology, but had decided that I would be better off knowing how to lead staff in a way that doesn't p**s them off. This was in light of me applying for promotion and not getting it because of my social skills, so they are saying, maybe if I am trained, then I will be promoted.
I'm just thinking, why do they think they can teach me, and do they really think that some one-hour sessions spent with a social person will instantly make me into a social person? I mean, I'm sure it's well-intentioned, but if it were that easy for me to learn social skills, I'm sure I already would have a long time ago. I haven't gone yet, because I'm busy/dreaded it, so I don't know what it would be like... |
Kind of curious but if you have trouble socializing why would you want a promotion to a position that requires you to be much better at it? I guess what I am getting at is do you really want to be leading the staff? and its concerning if they actually said 'well you should probably learn how to not piss eveyone off.' rather then something more along the lines of...'we feel you may not have the skills for this particular job at this time.' and offered to help teach you what the want you to know. Obviously the latter sounds more professional and less like something meant to degrade an employee with a disability.
But yeah it could just be general training for social skills helpful for that job position...the type of thing they might even have a neurotypical trained for if they arent at the level needed for the job but want to work to get there.
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deltafunction
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:02 pm Post subject: Re: Has your workplace tried to "train" you in soc |
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Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel.
| Quote: | | Kind of curious but if you have trouble socializing why would you want a promotion to a position that requires you to be much better at it? |
The problem is that I am asked to take on much more responsibility than the other staff, but get paid the same. I'd rather be promoted and get my money's worth out of it. If I don't, there's no reason for me to stay, since there's a lot of office politics going on there. Besides, they know I have the technical ability for the promotion, they even said it themselves.
I was just ebbing off of the job to take a break from the drama, taking a summer job for two months. Then I found myself being asked to work anyways because no one else can fill my shoes.
| Quote: | and its concerning if they actually said 'well you should probably learn how to not piss eveyone off.' rather then something more along the lines of...'we feel you may not have the skills for this particular job at this time.' and offered to help teach you what the want you to know. Obviously the latter sounds more professional and less like something meant to degrade an employee with a disability.
But yeah it could just be general training for social skills helpful for that job position...the type of thing they might even have a neurotypical trained for if they arent at the level needed for the job but want to work to get there |
I agree... well, I wasn't supposed to find out why they decided against me in the first place, but kind of found out indirectly....
Plus, in all my time there, I have never heard of them training staff for that position. People either got it, or they didn't. Plus, it doesn't make sense to me why they would train someone for a promotion that they may or may not get in the future.
I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me, and it all has this degrading feel. I honestly don't know if they are doing this because they want to promote me (but can't promise anything - my boss is leaving, plus they hired more new leaders than they needed). I think it's just to shut me up, since I did disclose my disability to them, and they did not want to seem heartless, but still don't want to promote me.
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Your Aspie score: 93 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 109 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits |
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SpiritBlooms
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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| In every job I've had there was training of some kind made available - to everyone. What training depended on the employee's responsibilities and needs. In the best jobs, we got offered the most training. Consider it an opportunity to learn something new, and enjoy it. If they promote you as a result, great, even better. |
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deltafunction
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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That is a mature answer, Spiritblooms, and I wish I were so insightful.
I guess I've had such a bad history with social development, trying to learn while growing up in public school. Kids were cruel, and I learned to keep quiet and stay out of the way. I pretty much felt useless until being diagnosed in university...
But same as many people with AS, I'm sure. But I don't like to go back, trying to relive my past by learning social skills again. It's too painful. I can't do it in a workplace setting, in a place where I'm supposed to come across as professional and in charge of my emotions.
I think the only way I have really learned was by talking things through with a trusted counselor. I guess I try to protect myself, since I don't want some person I don't trust to ruin my ego even more. Any regular attempts to teach me skills the way NTs learn have failed. Make social skills the subject and it would be insult to injury.
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Your Aspie score: 93 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 109 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits |
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thewhitrbbit
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| Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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My last job had these trainings. They were things like "Critical Thinking" and other skills. Things I personally don't think can be taught, only brought out in someone who has them. We did sometimes hire professionals to come in and do them.
They did pay me though, so I went. I think you should take advantage of it. |
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namaste
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| Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 4:51 am Post subject: |
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your problem is in contrast to mine my organisation wants me to take up senior position but i want to decline it
since i have communication skills issue i wont be able to handle senior position welll for sure
i dont want to lose my job by getting raised to senior position
and in your case if they are making you do more work but paying you less i would have still continued
because atleast they have hired me and from my point of view even if they make me do more work
and pay less its ok for me
my organisation is also providing trainings they have called outside trainers to teach communication skill,
multiple intelligence, stress management, leadership, time management etc etc
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