Washi
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 26, 2010
Posts: 729
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 Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 3:59 am Post subject: |
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| I think many of the people who feel the need to give this sort of unwelcome unsolicited advice/complaints are sociopaths and realize they're the ones with the problem. Not the people who show concern, but the ones who are angry because you're not smiling or dressing a certain way. |
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edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:04 am Post subject: |
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| Washi wrote: | | I think many of the people who feel the need to give this sort of unwelcome unsolicited advice/complaints are sociopaths and realize they're the ones with the problem. Not the people who show concern, but the ones who are angry because you're not smiling or dressing a certain way. |
I think so too ... sociopaths must see everything like a very superficial game, and when they see someone defying the rules and still being accepted, I think it makes them confused and angry. They can only conceive of things in terms of this game, that goes by certain rules. When there's a chance someone not playing the game might be accepted, I think it infuriates them because they don't want things to become genuine - they could not do well in that sort of environment and it probably scares them. Plus I think they see that not playing the game, and being accepted, is something they'll never be able to do. |
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Blownmind
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 19, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 823
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:33 am Post subject: |
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On two occations two different people have told me I look angry. And all I did in those situations were that I tried to consentrate on the conversation. When I frown my eyebrows, that have been called my "angry look" by other people again, I guess I must do it more often than I intend.
I do appreciate the feedback, it gives me a chance to correct my behaviour.
_________________
AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200 |
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ScottyN
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 28, 2010
Age: 44
Posts: 431
Location: Calgary, Canada
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:22 am Post subject: |
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| Sometimes referred to as arrogant. Sometimes shy, sometimes aloof. Everyone is different. Mostly I ignore it. But the one criticism I dont ignore is when I am told I dont listen. I tend to ramble on and on. Now that I concentrate on listening, it has made things much better. That is why I listen more now, even though it goes against my natural inclination to dominate conversations. |
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Mdyar
emuegg
Joined: May 29, 2009
Posts: 2514
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:07 am Post subject: |
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"You make people nervous, thus they are uncomfortable around you. You stand aloof." Something that I didnt realize until counseled about it. This event centered around people approaching me and introducing themselves. I recall feeling the 'butterflies' in my gut, but I didnt read them that way....interesting.
I could go on about these all day long. " why is he so private," etc etc...........>>>>
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Last edited by Mdyar on Fri Jun 15, 2012 11:28 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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abstract
Snowy Owl
Joined: May 29, 2012
Posts: 160
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:10 am Post subject: |
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| Yes, my dad tells it how it is. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:31 am Post subject: |
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NTs don't lie all the time, you know. My family are always honest with me because they want to help, because they know I suffer with anxieties and need the truth to overcome certain anxieties.
People only lie depending on the context, they don't lie about anything and everything. If they know you really need an honest opinion in desire to improve yourself, they will want to be honest with you, especially if they know you well enough and don't want you to stand out.
Anyway, how many Aspies and Auts here have been called ''weird'' to your face? Saying that to someone's face is being honest and unconsiderate of your feelings. I would of thought NTs would socially know better not to come out with that to someone and kept their honest opinion to themselves.....
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Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23 |
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Blownmind
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 19, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 823
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:21 am Post subject: |
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| Joe90 wrote: | | Anyway, how many Aspies and Auts here have been called ''weird'' to your face? Saying that to someone's face is being honest and unconsiderate of your feelings. |
About 3804 times from age 3 to 18, but I guess they eventually learned as they grew older and keep it to themselves.
(I hear it now and then still, but only from kids)
_________________
AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200 |
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Washi
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 26, 2010
Posts: 729
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Being called "weird" never bothered me, it I don't know why but it makes me smile. |
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Descendant
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 05, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:49 pm Post subject: |
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| I've never had someone honestly tell me how I come across to them but I wish they would because it would probably help me to improve my social habits. Although I get called a "dork" a lot (in a nice way) because I do or say awkward things, and sometimes people will tell me that I look sad to them, especially when I was in school. At this point I would welcome someone to come over and critique me. |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87360
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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I was convinced that I was just like Ray Davies when I was in my early 20s. I compared myself to him many times a day and made up diets, so I could be super thin like him which was very hard for me to do. I prided myself as being the strong but AS type leader with that unusual accent that he has. I thought that if I ate less of this and more of that, I'd go from looking like Mick Avory to looking like Ray Davies. I even started to see Ray when I looked in the mirror because I wanted to be the thin, quick minded leader.
I became sick with Depression, Psychosis and Anxiety in 1998 and my mum was looking at me from the other side of the couch. She glared at me and said, "The darling, unworldly Mick Avory with hands like shovels, who wouldn't dare choose to hurt a soul. You came pretty close to Mick Avory, - than my first and last name - You came pretty close to Mick Avory." I was surprised to hear that, and she meant it. When a person says something twice in a row like that, they mean it.
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The darling, unworldly Mick Avory with hands like shovels, who wouldn't dare choose to hurt a soul: I'm the cuddly, adorable Kink. Sweet Peas: http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j37/Cocknee/Kinks/Sweet%20Pea%20Smileys/ Other: http://www.mybrowsercash.com/ |
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Vegetarian
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 04, 2012
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 12:41 pm Post subject: Yes! |
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| Washi wrote: | | I frequently get grossly incorrect unsolicited comments about my facial expressions mostly from complete strangers and I don't appreciate it. I hate it when I'm having a good day and I'm in the grocery store trying to pick out a loaf of bread and the shopper next to me feels compelled to tell me "cheer up, SMILE it can't be that bad!" Or back when I had a job the numerous times I've had a customer complain to my boss that I'm rude because they didn't think I smiled at them right! |
This one is sooo very understood. |
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treblecake
Deinonychus
Joined: May 13, 2012
Age: 17
Posts: 353
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:12 pm Post subject: |
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I get told quite often that I speak too loudly or too softly.
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Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13670
Location: My house
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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I have been told I am sarcastic or snarky. In real life people have thought I was being sarcastic when I wasn't. But sometimes I think you can be sarcastic unintentionally and snarky because you had no awareness of it when you said it.
I have been called weird and I took it as a compliment in my teens. AS a kid it was always an insult. That is because they meant it in a bad way. In high school, it was just a compliment and they weren't being critical of me when they said it. They liked me and enjoyed my company and so telling me I am weird all of a sudden, why turn on them and think they were fakes and insulting me all of a sudden? Even if some stranger said it to me and I didn't even know them well and I hardly ever interact with them, I wouldn't even let that word bother me. Someone once called my anxiety issues weird and I thought it was an insult, that is because he was not a nice person so I took it as such. It all depends on the person and how they treat me or what kind of people they are for me to interpret the word. I can take it as a compliment or as an insult and it depends on the person. Even if it was an insult, I still wouldn't let it get to me. Then other times I wouldn't know it's an insult or not if I don't know them well. I wouldn't know if they mean it in a bad way or good way. I would just ignore it and not let it bother me.
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Titanic is a good diaper movie, lots of flooding |
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sl93
Butterfly
Joined: May 28, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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| I've been told that I look unhappy when I'm not. |
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