JWS
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 334
Location: The mountains of eastern Kentucky
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 Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 3:49 am Post subject: Does anyone else suffer from lonliness because of their |
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Autistic tendencies?
I am often lonely, but when I try to reach out, people just give me that "he is so WEIRD" look! Am I suffering alone, or do I have company? I'd sure love to make some female friends, here! 
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An Asperger's man who feels uncertain of his place on the DSM-V criteria.
I think visually, in movies, in shapes, in feelings, and some verbally. |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13507
Location: My house
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 3:54 am Post subject: |
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I did suffer being lonely due to it but then I got used to being lonely I don't suffer it anymore. It doesn't bother me to be alone.
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Titanic is a good diaper movie, lots of flooding |
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Kinme
Dinosaurlicious
Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Posts: 3223
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 3:57 am Post subject: |
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Yes, pretty often. I've found good friends on here, at least. You guys are enjoyable.
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http://towwi101.deviantart.com |
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vanhalenkurtz
Velociraptor
Joined: May 10, 2012
Posts: 464
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 4:01 am Post subject: |
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Lonely. But most people drive me nuts. It's the box I have to call home.
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ASQ: 45. RAADS-R: 229.
BAP: 132 aloof, 132 rigid, 104 pragmatic.
Aspie score: 173 / 200.
NT score: 33 / 200.
EQ: 6. |
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JWS
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 334
Location: The mountains of eastern Kentucky
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 4:23 am Post subject: |
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 I'm sure glad I don't have to suffer alone! I WANT FRIENDS!
PM me if you'd like to! Thanks! 
_________________
An Asperger's man who feels uncertain of his place on the DSM-V criteria.
I think visually, in movies, in shapes, in feelings, and some verbally. |
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PurpleHaze
Butterfly
Joined: Jun 11, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:48 am Post subject: |
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Yes, and when I'm around people I'm still lonely because it feels like reaching out and not being able to connect. Then I lose interest in socializing far too quickly and want to leave abnormally early from anything social.
It's like wanting a sip of hot tea and getting a giant mug of coffee instead. Socializing, I mean. It's too much of what I didn't ask for. |
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outofplace
Geometrophile
Joined: Jun 11, 2012
Age: 39
Posts: 1771
Location: In A State of Quantum Flux
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 6:17 am Post subject: |
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Yes and no. I have friends but...it's complicated. One friend is an alcoholic that used to live with me and his actions during that time make me want to distance myself from him (but we still talk every day on the phone and I am trying to help him quit.) Another friend lives about 1,000 miles away and while we talk on the phone for several hours a week, we never see each other. Then there is a neighbor that I sometimes work on projects with but he's not someone I can really be around socially outside of that context. We are too far apart in age and life experience to do much together outside of sharing a need to fix and build things. However, it's a handy friendship to have as he knows how to fix some thing I don't and I can do some things he can't, so we just help each other out whenever needed and don't keep score.
My real need though is to finally have a girlfriend. However, this is the most difficult thing for me to do as I have significant deficits in reading this sort of situation. It also doesn't help to be working a job where no members of the opposite sex in my age range work. On the rare occasion that that is not the case, they are either completely not interested in me or batpoop crazy. When I do meet someone I am compatible with and interested in at work (my only real social outlet), I am too old to even think of asking them out.
This sometimes leads to situations worse than loneliness, like the one I find myself in right now. There is a girl that seems to like me. However, I know I shouldn't be dating a 20 year old (I am 38 ) so instead of just feeling lonely, I have to deal with what I want being just outside of my reach but staring me in the face every day. It's easily the most frustrating thing I have dealt with in years. I would rather just deal with the pain of loneliness. |
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singularity
Sea Gull
Joined: Mar 29, 2012
Posts: 200
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 7:05 am Post subject: |
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| PurpleHaze wrote: | Yes, and when I'm around people I'm still lonely because it feels like reaching out and not being able to connect. Then I lose interest in socializing far too quickly and want to leave abnormally early from anything social.
It's like wanting a sip of hot tea and getting a giant mug of coffee instead. Socializing, I mean. It's too much of what I didn't ask for. |
It seems to me that most people tell the same stories over and over again. I find myself incredibly bored and wishing I could just be alone to do some drawing or some research. But I am very lonely. |
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persian85033
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 1696
Location: Phoenix
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 9:37 am Post subject: |
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I used to, but not anymore. I mean, I have my cat, my dog, my books, my movies, my tv, my dvd, my computer. Why should I be lonely?
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"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." - Mark Twain |
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bizboy1
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 24, 2012
Posts: 945
Location: California, USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 9:43 am Post subject: |
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| Yes, not because I'm weird but because I cannot connect with others. Well, I can connect, I just have a hard time. |
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nolan1971
Toucan
Joined: May 13, 2012
Age: 41
Posts: 290
Location: Gainesville FL
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:58 am Post subject: Reply |
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Finding friends that can relate to you is very hard. My closest friends have AS or something similar.
Your not alone!
Greetings from Florida |
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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Rasta is about freedom and the living God
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Joined: Jun 19, 2008
Posts: 7998
Location: Babylon
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 11:09 am Post subject: |
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I used to have so much trouble dealing with loneliness and it was just awful because I was so dependent on people who had no respect for me My psychological well being depended on it. It was pure hell. It made my symptoms much worse. I thought anything was preferable to being alone. Then, one day, I realized things could be better than that. I lost contact with the ones who had no respect for me. I garnered an attitude that friends are great but if someone doesn't respect me, they aren't my friend and I don't have to be around them. Things started improving for me from there. It makes the concept of friendship more enduring and exceptional. I hope you find some really good friends. They are a rare.
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JUST LET THE GUY BE FROM K PAX!!!!!! |
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JWS
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 334
Location: The mountains of eastern Kentucky
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:16 pm Post subject: |
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I can see from all your answers that I am definitely not really alone in my misery! haha.
Outofplace, I can really understand where you're coming from! I am so-so with many people I know. I would love to find a girlfriend who could stand me too, just the way I am- I've never succeeded in that endeavor, yet. I've sure tried, but to no avail....
More than one of you has written along the lines of "just getting used to being lonely". Since my extended family is huge, and I was raised to be around someone as much as possible, I find the concept of "getting used to loneliness" a foreign concept.
Granted, I was an only child. Not that that is the best situation there is- far from it! I just wish my adult life had proved much better than it has thus far... 
Well, here's hoping to break down this awful isolation I've been feeling, anyway. Thanks for all your responses!
JWS
_________________
An Asperger's man who feels uncertain of his place on the DSM-V criteria.
I think visually, in movies, in shapes, in feelings, and some verbally. |
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abyssquick
Deinonychus
Joined: May 08, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 363
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Sometimes the flesh just feels entirely hollow. Even when life is good. |
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MrPickles
Raven
Joined: Apr 16, 2012
Posts: 104
Location: The Frozen North
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| Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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Hey, I am an old Asperger's and I have found that one of the best places to find friends is with others of our ilk or those near us--- Like geeks if your spot on the spectrum is near geekdom.
These people don't mind that you are a little weird - because they are also and in fact may not even notice your weirdness because weirdness does not matter to them.
Some cities now have Asperger's groups that exist primarily to bring together Asperger's for simple social interaction, Aspie to Aspie! These groups can be hard to start as most other Asperger's help groups (usually run by NTs) prove to be no help at all as most are into fixing us not in helping us just be comfortable with Asperger's and cannot see why we may want to meet others "that Can't communicate".
My group of geeks (many of whom are Asper as well) is a great place for me. I can relax and not worry about doing the "being with you dance" (maintaining eye contact, making gestures that mean nothing to me but are required by NTs, going through small talk hell). I have had some really fine entertaining conversations there - where no one required eye contact - or little touches while the conversion was underway - we were able to stay more or less on topic while allowing minor deviations to allow some with special interests near the topic get in their 2cents worth. (it did help that computer specialist group - though not all conversations are on this topic).
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Found in an old and dusty book --- Roger's Axiom: If it is worth doing it is worth over doing!
Found on http://jacobbarnett.org/ -- If you are suffering from Autism - you're doing it wrong! |
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