hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 14837
Location: New Zealand
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 Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 8:34 am Post subject: feeling the need to constantly punish myself |
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For all the people I've hurt in my life, being rude over the internet, being rude in general, making poor decisions, and behaving in a way I'm ashamed of.
I just can't shake it.
I feel like I HAVE to punish myself for it.. and over and over again.
God I feel awful. Has anyone experienced this before? Needing to hurt yourself because of stuff you've said or done? I could really use your help.
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kirayng
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 13, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 745
Location: Maine, USA
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 9:13 am Post subject: |
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Last edited by kirayng on Fri Jun 15, 2012 2:46 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6775
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 11:13 am Post subject: |
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There are times that I'll feel a huge amount of remorse over things I've done years or decades ago. All the bad stuff I've done will keep playing through my mind and I'll feel nothing but guilt. I've never wanted to punish myself for it though. I've just wanted to lie in bed and wait for death. Although I guess that is a form of punishment.
I get that way when my depression gets bad and I know it's time to get back on my antidepressants. Have you ever tried antidepressants, and do they help?
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Frances
What if Jessie's girl was Stacy's mom and her number was 867-5309? |
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Greatsharkbite
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 09, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 680
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:08 pm Post subject: |
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The guilt trips my mind sometimes plays on me are brutal. I can literally thing of things i've done over 18+ years ago (I was a kid) and beat myself up over it for hours. It doesn't happen all the time, but then I see other people just blaze through life carefree without giving a crap about anyone.
I don't think having a conscience is harmful in itself. |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 14837
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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| OliveOilMom wrote: | There are times that I'll feel a huge amount of remorse over things I've done years or decades ago. All the bad stuff I've done will keep playing through my mind and I'll feel nothing but guilt. I've never wanted to punish myself for it though. I've just wanted to lie in bed and wait for death. Although I guess that is a form of punishment.
I get that way when my depression gets bad and I know it's time to get back on my antidepressants. Have you ever tried antidepressants, and do they help? |
Yes, I am on them now, but they don't shake self loathing thoughts. I've just decided it's something I have to live with. I spoke to mum about it, she said no-one is perfect, but I just need to stop obsessing about how non perfect I am.
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tweety_fan
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 03, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 3571
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 1:48 am Post subject: |
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There are times when I have massive guilt trips over things that I have said or done. sometimes over things that have happened 18+ years ago.
I have been told not to worry and to move on, but the guilt still hangs around sometimes for hours at a time(which is annoying because it isn't helping anyone). Anyway it goes away when I find something else to do or think about. |
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Vomelche
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 18, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 376
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:16 am Post subject: |
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I find others punish me more then enough.
Its normal to feel guilt, just dont get hung up on it. So long as you already tried your best to do it right, its enough. You cant always be prepared for any situation and make everyone happy. Time forgives and forgets. |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6775
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 7:07 am Post subject: |
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I tend to get in thought loops about things from the past. I had no clue that I could change that until somebody told me. What I do now is, I think of something different and I actually say it out loud in my head about the different thing. It's hard at first to switch to a different train of thought but after doing that as often as you can when you notice it, after about a few weeks it works great.
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Frances
What if Jessie's girl was Stacy's mom and her number was 867-5309? |
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blueroses
restless, but going nowhere
Joined: Feb 11, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 1598
Location: Lancaster, PA
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 11:01 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, I have felt that way/still do feel that way sometimes. The thing is, though, that punishing yourself really does nothing to help anyone you've hurt. They really don't benefit from you beating yourself up.
I think the only thing you can really do is apologize if the situation warrants it, move on and try to put out more positive energy in the future. If you're really caught it a vicious cycle of wanting to punish yourself and feel like you can't get out of it, sometimes volunteer work or doing some sort of a random act of kindness for someone else can help you re-frame your sense of self and start seeing yourself as a good person again. |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87148
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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kepheru
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
Posts: 217
Location: U.S.
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| Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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| I definitely understand that feeling. I distinctly remember stupid selfish things I did as a child and will feel terrible about it whenever it comes across my mind now. |
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