| Are you self sufficient? |
| Yes |
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64% |
[ 140 ] |
| No |
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35% |
[ 76 ] |
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| Total Votes : 216 |
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ChangelingGirl
Brazilian Wandering Spider
Joined: Sep 19, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 1612
Location: Netherlands
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 Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 1:48 pm Post subject: |
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I answered no. I'm definitely not self-sufficient. I live in an institution where I do only a few things by myself, and I receive disability benefits and have since I turned 18. I did try college and living independently for a while, but failed miserably due to executive dysfunction, overload, and mental health problems that aren't AS-related. I was raised with an extreme drive to be self-sufficient, and it was actually communicated to me that people who aren't self-sufficient are pretty much not worth living. Therefore, I definitely do want to be self-sufficient, but the drive is lessening now that I'm realizing other things make life worthwhile.
I believe there are two kinds of self-sufficiency, oen being the one I described above, and the other being able to advocate for yourslef and make your own decisions. I am very self-sufficient for an institution inmate in the second sense, because I don't have a guardian, make my own financial decisions, have a lot of input in my own treatment planning, etc. |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18162
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 2:53 am Post subject: |
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| YourMajesty wrote: | | auntblabby wrote: | | YourMajesty wrote: | | I'm 20 and live on my own and study. Things aren't perfect though. Often I'm tired and I need to look after myself and my rats. |
are your rats particularly friendly? just curious... |
I don't quite understand your question; do you just mean to ask if the animals are social, or is there sarcasm or a double bottom? To answer your question: Yes, they're very smart, social and affectionate, and just like a dog they'll lick your hand if they love you. |
i asked the question in all seriousness [and sans any sarcasm] because i was curious- i'd only seen lab rats and trained rats and i didn't know if they had any endearing personality traits like what you might find in a dog or cat. i didn't know if they liked being pet and handled by humans or if they merely tolerated such from their human handlers. |
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Moonpenny
Raven
Joined: May 06, 2012
Posts: 121
Location: UK
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 6:01 pm Post subject: |
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| I've always been self-sufficient and self-supporting. I left home at 17 (can't cope with living with people!), and apart from a few months on benefits I've been in continuous employment for the last 33 years. I earn enough to live modestly in a small house on my own. I struggle with work in lots of ways but also hugely enjoy it; I have a supportive employer and colleagues, which is immensely helpful, especially as I have a physical disability as well as AS. I've read appalling stories about people with AS being bullied at work, but luckily I've never experienced anything like that. If I had to deal with those issues, I don't think I would be able to work and support myself – it would just take the daily struggle too far. Luckily I work in a field that genuinely accepts/welcomes diversity. |
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Outer_Darkness
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 09, 2011
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 8:04 pm Post subject: |
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| I voted yes but I don't really know. My mother passed away last year, and my father was bed-ridden for about six months before dying May 2. So I'm on my own for the first time ever. |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18162
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 3:19 am Post subject: |
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| Outer_Darkness wrote: | | I voted yes but I don't really know. My mother passed away last year, and my father was bed-ridden for about six months before dying May 2. So I'm on my own for the first time ever. |
it's a desolate feeling, isn't it?  |
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Outer_Darkness
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 09, 2011
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 11:47 am Post subject: |
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| auntblabby wrote: | | Outer_Darkness wrote: | | I voted yes but I don't really know. My mother passed away last year, and my father was bed-ridden for about six months before dying May 2. So I'm on my own for the first time ever. |
it's a desolate feeling, isn't it? |
Yes, it is. |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18162
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 3:52 am Post subject: |
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| Outer_Darkness wrote: | | auntblabby wrote: | | Outer_Darkness wrote: | | I voted yes but I don't really know. My mother passed away last year, and my father was bed-ridden for about six months before dying May 2. So I'm on my own for the first time ever. |
it's a desolate feeling, isn't it? |
Yes, it is. |
my situation was similar, in that my dad was bedridden for years, spending the last 3 months at a hospice, and my mother died less than 2 years after my father passed. but it took me a while to come to terms with the fact that i am all alone now. my comfort is that my sister and i received heavenly hellos from them in our dreams. |
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Senath
Deinonychus
Joined: May 17, 2012
Posts: 357
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| Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 11:07 pm Post subject: |
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| I've been self-sufficient since before age 18, but things have been going downhill. I just can't take it anymore. I had a breakdown a few years ago and it hasn't gotten much better since then. I'm about 3 months behind on rent, but am really lucky and am not getting kicked out. I'm almost 24 now. Depression and anxiety and substance abuse is really taxing. Without it though I doubt I would have taken people's Asperger's suggestions seriously. Now that I'm taking it more seriously over the past month, I'm understanding more about why I've been so troubled. Knowledge is power, right?... |
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Banquo
Hummingbird
Joined: Apr 21, 2012
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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I am 39 and married - I said yes - I hold down a good job in a large company - I have recruited staff who make up for my inabilities and am luck that the people around me are very discreet and supportive - without them I would really struggle.
My wife does virtually all of the house and kids admin - a source of marital issues - but I could handle the minimum to survive.
Maybe I am kidding myself that I am self-sufficient, although I have engineered the situation and self sufficient doesn't mean alone. |
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Nonperson
Unbeatable Pterodactyl
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Joined: Jun 13, 2012
Posts: 1049
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 8:48 am Post subject: |
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| I said no. I'm married and work part time at various things, most of which end in disaster. I don't earn enough to completely support myself if I was alone and I have my doubts that I ever could, although I keep trying. I know I'm capable of doing work of enough value to support me, but my inability to impress NTs with my personality stops me from ever having the chance. |
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outofplace
Geometrophile
Joined: Jun 11, 2012
Age: 39
Posts: 1771
Location: In A State of Quantum Flux
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 4:54 am Post subject: |
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I am very self-sufficient and have been since my early 20's. I own my own house and take care of it with little help from anyone. What help I do receive is usually a form of mutual assistance with others who I help in their time of need. Now this is not to say that I have everything neat, organized and clean all of the time. I don't, but I am working towards that goal by the end of this summer (well see how that goes...)
However, I am trying to go back to college over the fall and am considering selling the house and moving back home during that time. I think it may be for the best. It would lessen the number of things I have to deal with and let me concentrate my limited attention span on my education rather than work and home maintenance.
_________________
Uncertain of diagnosis, either ADHD or Aspergers.
Aspie quiz: 143/200 AS, 81/200 NT; AQ 43; "eyes" 17/39, EQ/SQ 21/51 BAPQ: Autistic/BAP- You scored 92 aloof, 111 rigid and 103 pragmatic
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unreal3x
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
Posts: 359
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 10:11 pm Post subject: |
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| I have been self sufficient, and living alone for almost a year now because of my current job. Before I was not able to keep a job due to customer service and other things. I feel that what seems so easy and automatic to others is not to me. I am proud things I am doing now, but it seems so basic to others. It first felt strange when people that were younger than me were getting their driver's license before me. I have one now. Living alone I don't think I am getting everything done that I should on a regular basis, but it works. I don't cook. I work around people all day long, so it is nice to come home and have a break with no people. Outside of work I am pretty isolated, on my days off I stay at home all day. I hear people in my apartment hallway say, "I don't even know who that guy is in #4 he just walks right past me and won't say anything" hehe |
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rosemund
Snowy Owl
Joined: Mar 15, 2012
Posts: 125
Location: South East Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:04 pm Post subject: |
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I would say I am. I'm thirty-five, was married for about three years, and then was in a second LTR that lasted for ten years. That one ended about two and a half years ago, and he moved out six months later to be with someone else. I have a BA and an MLIS, work full time, and am a single mother. So I get a couple of hundred dollars a month in child support, and when I moved back to my hometown after finishing my Master's, my parents helped out with refurnishing my apt (since I had to sell off a lot of possessions to move from CA back to TX). Other than that aid, I pay my own bills, do my own car care, shopping, etc. My daughter also has Asperger's, and it's likely my father is somewhere on the spectrum, but I didn't live in a household with him after the age of one. I "pass" in the contexts of classrooms and work fairly well, and I learned a lot from working retail/taking courses on reference service, but on my own steam I have trouble making friends and dating. My friends are those that I knew before I ever left, and their SOs. I have almost nothing in common with them, but they accept me for who I am, so aside from the dating thing I do reasonably well.
Last edited by rosemund on Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:41 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Senath
Deinonychus
Joined: May 17, 2012
Posts: 357
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| Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:06 pm Post subject: |
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| I think my "self-sufficiency" is slowly killing me. I am plagued with and belabored on all sides by anxiety as I try to keep up. |
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RLgnome
Raven
Joined: Jul 26, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 117
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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| I pay most of my own expenses and live on my own, but voted no. I still have my parents making phone calls for me and sometimes ask them to shop for me. Since temporary disability money (for university studies) isn't always enough, they sometimes support me economically, though less than before (thank goodness for that, I'm closing to 30 and feel bad every time I have to ask them for money). And I guess receiving my entire income from social security until I have my degree isn't really self-sufficient either, though at least that's not my parents' money. I'm also in a support program for students with social security funding, which I guess could be seen as not being self-sufficient. |
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