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treblecake
Deinonychus
Joined: May 13, 2012
Age: 17
Posts: 317
Location: Australia
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 Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:23 am Post subject: Need help with getting diagnosed. |
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I'm on the verge of failing school, last term I got mainly As on my report but this term I've just started failing all my tests.
My parents keep on telling me I've never been like this before and asking me what's wrong, but I'm not any different from how I was 'before'. All that's changed is I've been worried lately about whether I have aspergers and my usual lack of doing work because of trouble concentrating has caught up with me. So I think going to get a diagnosis will help me.
I've told my mum twice that I think I have aspergers but she just ignores me. I could tell her about the symptoms I have but I find it hard enough to just say aspergers out loud. I also called up a place specializing in diagnosis of ASD but found out that the testing costs $500 so I'd have to get my mum involved.
So basically what I want advice on is how to explain to my mum the legitimacy of me having aspergers or how I can get help on my own without a diagnosis. |
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iggy64
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 23, 2012
Posts: 410
Location: East England
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:56 am Post subject: |
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Write her a note. Its much harder to ignore pen and paper, and that way you can organise your thoughts and explain what AS is and why you think you have it, without blurting it all out wrong.
If you have any other family that are easier to talk to, maybe try to bring it up with them.
Good luck 
_________________
Female, 16
Knowledge is knowing that tomatoes are fruits. It takes wisdom to know not to put them in a fruit salad.
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Longshanks
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Posts: 513
Location: At an undisclosed airbase at Shangri-la
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 3:46 pm Post subject: Re: Need help with getting diagnosed. |
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| treblecake wrote: | I'm on the verge of failing school, last term I got mainly As on my report but this term I've just started failing all my tests.
My parents keep on telling me I've never been like this before and asking me what's wrong, but I'm not any different from how I was 'before'. All that's changed is I've been worried lately about whether I have aspergers and my usual lack of doing work because of trouble concentrating has caught up with me. So I think going to get a diagnosis will help me.
I've told my mum twice that I think I have aspergers but she just ignores me. I could tell her about the symptoms I have but I find it hard enough to just say aspergers out loud. I also called up a place specializing in diagnosis of ASD but found out that the testing costs $500 so I'd have to get my mum involved.
So basically what I want advice on is how to explain to my mum the legitimacy of me having aspergers or how I can get help on my own without a diagnosis. |
Sigh. Memories. I have been diagnosed, but not until January 2012. I'm going on 48 years old. And yes, like you, I got lousy grades. How I ever became an officer in the US Air Force Reserves is beyond me - at times. I went through the same things you did and I didn't have the benefit of a diagnosis. That's the problem. Aspies learn differently. If had been properly diagnosed and retrained, life would have been way easier for me. I'd be a general istead of a major. The writing idea in the post above is sound. Take that one up. Likewise, go to your local library and check out some books that you and your mom can read together. Education is a wonderful thing.
Longshanks
_________________
Supporter of the Brian Terry Foundation @ www.honorbrianterry.com. Special Agent Brian Terry (1970-2010) was murdered as a direct result of Operation Fast & Furious - which Barry O won't discuss - wonder why? |
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treblecake
Deinonychus
Joined: May 13, 2012
Age: 17
Posts: 317
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 7:58 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for the replies 
I think I'll try writing a note like you said iggy64. I've been trying to avoid doing that because it feels really unnecessary and over the top, but I'm too awkward to talk to her so I guess I'll have to do that.
Also Longshanks, that's really awesome that became an officer in the US Air Force Reserves I can only imagine all the struggles you would have gone through to get there without the knowlege of how your brain works. I think I'll also take up that idea about getting some books from the library.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
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Bunnynose
Sea Gull
Joined: May 18, 2012
Posts: 200
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:30 am Post subject: |
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Couldn't you also talk to a school counselor about your concerns?
The counselor might also be able to suggest where you could be tested at low-cost.
And don't you think that if you got A's before you began thinking you had AS, then it is just as likely that you can work at getting A's before being diagnosed?
We are susceptible to worry, stress and anxiety. And you know how useless those things can make you. Being 16 is a great age to figure out what's important to you and makes you happy -- school, grades, love of family, sports, hobbies, and so on. Find your strengths, treblecake. |
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Khyrean
Blue Jay
Joined: May 08, 2012
Posts: 92
Location: London
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:58 am Post subject: |
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I'm somewhat in the same situation. I thought about giving my mum a note along with a book about AS - maybe Tony Attwood (The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, 2007), I thought that quite readable. I'm not yet sure about whether I should put notes inside the book as well where I want her to understand particular points or if I should just let her read it on her own. He writes fairly detailed about all the characteristics and implications and includes those that are not in the official criteria - the small things and oddities - so I hope that might help her to recognise and understand me...
If you think your mum would read something like that you could give it a try.
I suppose my mum will also say that I've never acted much like this because I got quite good at social interactions, laughing, telling funny, meaningless stories, and so on; but I recently decided to drop that as it's really exhausting for me and I don't even really know why I do that...
I have yet to find out how and where I can request a diagnosis, since the Autism Centre in my hometown doesn't reply to emails... I really dislike phone calls...
(PS. I love bunny noses!)
Last edited by Khyrean on Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:30 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Longshanks
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 03, 2012
Posts: 513
Location: At an undisclosed airbase at Shangri-la
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| Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Khyrean wrote: | I'm somewhat in the same situation. I thought about giving my mum a note along with a book about AS - maybe Tony Attwood (The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, 2007), I thought that quite readable. I'm not yet sure about whether I should put notes inside the book as well where I want her to understand particular points or if I should just let her read it on her own. He writes fairly detailed about all the characteristics and implications and includes those that are not in the official criteria - the small things and oddities - so I hope that might help her to recognise and understand me...
If you think your mum would read something like that you could give it a try.
I suppose my mum will also say that I've never acted much like this because I got quite good at social interactions, laughing, telling funny, meaningless stories, and so on; but I recently decided to drop that as it's really exhausting for me and I don't even really know why I do that...
I have yet to find out how and where I can request a diagnosis, since the Autism Centre in my hometown doesn't reply to emails... I really dislike phone calls... |
I agree with you about Atwood. He is awesome!
Longshanks
_________________
Supporter of the Brian Terry Foundation @ www.honorbrianterry.com. Special Agent Brian Terry (1970-2010) was murdered as a direct result of Operation Fast & Furious - which Barry O won't discuss - wonder why? |
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mori_pastel
Sea Gull
Joined: May 12, 2011
Age: 21
Posts: 219
Location: GA, USA
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| Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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Three quick points:
One, I second what Bunnynose said about stress, worry, and anxiety. These are probably the root of your school troubles, especially if you do end up being an aspie. I've been having problems with my grades lately too thanks to this. It seems so obvious on paper. "Of course when you're upset you have trouble in school!" But if you're like me and have a hard time telling your emotions apart, it's easy to miss the obvious.
Two, the way I got my parents to really understand where I was coming from was by giving them a book, like has already been suggested. My book of choice was Aspergirls by Rudy Simone. I remember my mom once told me that her worst nightmare would have been to have a kid with autism. When I first told her about Asperger's, her initial reaction was "MY CHILD DOES NOT HAVE AUTISM. I KNOW WHAT AUTISM IS AND YOU DO NOT HAVE IT!" But after a bit of pleading, I got her to read Aspergirls. When she finished it, her first words to me were "It's like this book is about you." : ) Just a suggestion, maybe don't give your parents Atwood's Guide. Sure, it's a great resource, but it is a bit text heavy. Maybe something that goes into a bit less detail, to help your parents form a clear picture of what AS actually is, and save the Guide for if they want more info.
Three, you don't necessarily need to go to an autism specialist. I was diagnosed by a run-of-the-mill psychologist in the town I lived in. She gave me a diagnostic test. I took it home for my mom to do. Next session she scores it and I'm diagnosed. There are a lot of horror stories out there of people who were misdiagnosed because "girls can't have autism" or "people with friends can't have autism" or "adults can't have autism," but it might not hurt (especially if getting to an autism specialist is going to be incredibly difficult or expensive) to go and see a local psych first. Yeah, after all the hype about how hard it was to get a diagnosis I heard here, it was weird to basically be handed one. It felt like it was a phony diagnosis at first, since I'd spent months trying to prove it to myself only to get my "proof" that easy. But both my parents believed I had it by that point. That was proof enough for me, and it is technically quite official. I figure that things being easier than you expect doesn't always have to be bad. xD |
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treblecake
Deinonychus
Joined: May 13, 2012
Age: 17
Posts: 317
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:00 am Post subject: |
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Yeah Bunnynose, I saw the school counciler about two weeks ago regarding my school work and they weren't very helpful. He just got make a study plan which I couldn't follow anyway because of how behind I am. I was going to tell him about my aspergers suspicions but I felt too awkward to say anything. I don't like talking to people in general, yet alone about myself. Also I don't really feel too stressed but I have more trouble than usual concentrating, like just being able to start projects and things.
As for my mum I'm too scared to bring it up with her again at the moment. She's been quite angry at me for being unorganized, apparently "lying" about my school work because I didn't say anything about it and for not caring about her. I've heard about Attwood and Simone's books and they sound great but I don't know I just can't handle the idea of giving it to her to read. I imagine that she'll just think that I'm using aspergers as an excuse for being unorganized and whatnot.
I realize now that I have a lot of options but I'm my problem is I'm too scared to do anything. I feel so pathetic. I guess I'm just worried that I'll be wrong about this and will look stupid and have wasted all my time thinking about it but if I am diagnosed it'll just be weird and awkward to have a label on me. Haha I'm in a Schrodinger's cat kind of situation.
I'm going to Sydney in a few days with my school orchestra and then staying over at my aunt's with my mum so maybe I'll be able to work up the courage after having time to think while I'm away.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
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