Aspie1
Overman
Joined: Mar 08, 2005
Posts: 3705
Location: United States
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 Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:49 am Post subject: |
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I guess I'll be the first one to post who says he likes to dance and is good at it. I first started taking dance classes in 2003. The first dances I learned was swing and ballroom, then moved on to more popular dances like Latin ones. I'm now at a point where I can dance comfortably at any event that has dance music playing and a decent number of people already dancing. I know basics very well, and some of the advanced moves well enough. If I dance with a girl I now get a "thank you!" with a big smile or a "wow, you're really good!", rather than that confused look on the face, alone or combined with a question "what are you doing?".
I think I reached the ultimate tipping point when I experienced something on a cruise a little over a month ago. During one of the at sea days, they were teaching salsa on the Lido deck, with random couples taking a lesson and everybody else watching. I wanted to do the lesson, but there was an odd number of participants, so a crew girl volunteered to be my partner. They taught mostly the basic steps that I already knew well, with two advanced moves that I only had a vague knowledge of. I must have done really well, and even managed to squeeze in a dip at the end of the song (they weren't teaching dips, but it's a move I know), because the crew girl was holding my hand and smiling a lot while saying "oh wow, that was really nice; I loved the surprise at the end" (referring to the dip). Granted, it's her job to be nice to passengers, but she could have easily just said "thank you", the minimum required by dance etiquette. For the rest of the cruise, I had fellow passengers recognize me and compliment me as they walked past me on the ship.
Moral of the story? OK, I did brag a little bit, but the point I'm making is that it is possible to learn to dance. I can't even list all the occasions where knowing how to dance helped me tremendously. 90% of situations where I managed to get intimate with a girl (not sex, but hugging and kissing and stuff) involved dance situations. And knowing how to dance and being able to do it comfortably is what made those situations possible. It took god-knows-how-many years of learning and paying for lessons at dance studios, but I would have been exponentially worse off if I never learned to dance in the first place. If you've never taken a dance lesson, I suggest trying it at least once. People in dance schools are very understanding and non-judgmental. That's what kept me coming back. |
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vanhalenkurtz
Velociraptor
Joined: May 10, 2012
Posts: 465
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:54 am Post subject: |
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I can, and frequently do, dance by myself. When I drank, sure I could "dance" the night away. Sober, one time only with some gal so worth the effort. Every other occasion is just a solitary hi-falootin' stim.
_________________
ASQ: 45. RAADS-R: 229.
BAP: 132 aloof, 132 rigid, 104 pragmatic.
Aspie score: 173 / 200.
NT score: 33 / 200.
EQ: 6. |
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TalksToCats
Toucan
Joined: Jun 02, 2012
Posts: 255
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:28 am Post subject: |
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My brain wants to dance and thinks it knows how
My body however won't comply, I'm generally very poorly co-ordinated
Part of me has always wanted to dance. I've considered lessons but I'd need to invest in it, I think it would take a long time to learn
I learnt basic ceildh dancing as a kid so I can do that, but that was mostly a form of skipping about to music, but it's the more expressive dance I've always wanted to do and I can't do that |
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izzeme
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 05, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 1086
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 6:04 am Post subject: |
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well, if there is music playing, i am almost required to change my body rythm to the speed of that music (walking, cycling, chewing...), and i will also start moving around a little if i'm just standing around ,you could call that dancing.
another thing that happens often (especially in a semi-social setting) is that i get anxious by the typically high volume of the music, combined with still hearing 10-ish conversations, so i will start stimming exessively, also to the beat of the music, so that is also often seen as dancing.
but as for any official dances, nope, i am too uncoordinated for that and if it is about things like ballroom dancing, that would give me too much sensory input, that's not for me, i'd meltdown in the middle |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6783
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 6:23 am Post subject: |
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| Aspie1 wrote: | I guess I'll be the first one to post who says he likes to dance and is good at it. I first started taking dance classes in 2003. The first dances I learned was swing and ballroom, then moved on to more popular dances like Latin ones. I'm now at a point where I can dance comfortably at any event that has dance music playing and a decent number of people already dancing. I know basics very well, and some of the advanced moves well enough. If I dance with a girl I now get a "thank you!" with a big smile or a "wow, you're really good!", rather than that confused look on the face, alone or combined with a question "what are you doing?".
I think I reached the ultimate tipping point when I experienced something on a cruise a little over a month ago. During one of the at sea days, they were teaching salsa on the Lido deck, with random couples taking a lesson and everybody else watching. I wanted to do the lesson, but there was an odd number of participants, so a crew girl volunteered to be my partner. They taught mostly the basic steps that I already knew well, with two advanced moves that I only had a vague knowledge of. I must have done really well, and even managed to squeeze in a dip at the end of the song (they weren't teaching dips, but it's a move I know), because the crew girl was holding my hand and smiling a lot while saying "oh wow, that was really nice; I loved the surprise at the end" (referring to the dip). Granted, it's her job to be nice to passengers, but she could have easily just said "thank you", the minimum required by dance etiquette. For the rest of the cruise, I had fellow passengers recognize me and compliment me as they walked past me on the ship.
Moral of the story? OK, I did brag a little bit, but the point I'm making is that it is possible to learn to dance. I can't even list all the occasions where knowing how to dance helped me tremendously. 90% of situations where I managed to get intimate with a girl (not sex, but hugging and kissing and stuff) involved dance situations. And knowing how to dance and being able to do it comfortably is what made those situations possible. It took god-knows-how-many years of learning and paying for lessons at dance studios, but I would have been exponentially worse off if I never learned to dance in the first place. If you've never taken a dance lesson, I suggest trying it at least once. People in dance schools are very understanding and non-judgmental. That's what kept me coming back. |
You're supposed to say thank you after you dance with somebody? I didn't know that. I hope I didn't offend people in the past when I didn't do that. I'll make sure I do it from now on though.
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Frances
I can be a little much sometimes. |
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Kjas
Onçinha
Joined: Feb 27, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 4916
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 7:02 am Post subject: Re: Can you dance? |
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| Fluke83 wrote: | I suddenly got curious about how people on the spectrum do with dancing?
Personally I couldn't dance even if my life depended on it.
I do "dance" when I'm alone and a song I like is on the radio, but I wouldn't say this counts... (edit: I say it doesn't count and I put "dance" in quotation marks because I'm basically just moving around more than if there was no music on, but I'm not dancing)
I can't do any kind of dance with a partner. The closest thing could only be described as "shameless drunken groin grinding", but I wouldn't really call this dancing, heheh..
I have a feeling there won't be many dancers here, unless it's someone's special interest, but I don't know, that's why I'm asking 
So, do you dance? |
I can dance.
However it is a primarily a natural talent ( and my one and only!  ), as evidenced by the way I move in general, even if I have never done a certain genre before. I did ballet and street styles from a young age, it is ingrained in both my cultures as a social activity, and it has also always been a special interest, and continues to be one of my main 2 special interests to this day.
I have received scholarships, been accepted into some pretty awesome academies, competed in nationals here, gone on tour before and I teach it also. Just getting back into teaching now after being sick. It's also probably the only time I am comfortable around people, partnered dancing (which is what I mainly do now, although street style) really took the edge off since it has very set rules you have to learn and follow, and allowed me to have at least one form of social interaction that I cannot screw up.
But as soon as I am not dancing, I am clumsy as all hell. I bump into things, drop things and trip over my own feet a minimum of 5 times a day. I have tripped over my own feet after finishing a performance before, just on the way from walking off the stage.
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Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html |
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darkfuji
Raven
Joined: Feb 23, 2012
Posts: 107
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 7:12 am Post subject: |
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| N-O |
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steffan
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 15, 2011
Age: 31
Posts: 47
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 7:23 am Post subject: |
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| Only very badly and usually when everyone else is to drunk to notice and im too drunk to care anyways! |
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SilkySifaka
Lemur
Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1396
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:48 am Post subject: |
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| I dance when I'm on my own if I am very happy and the music is right. I absolutely do not dance in front of other people, I'm very clumsy and uncoordinated. In the past I have danced in public, but only when very drunk. I was once asked to leave a salsa bar because I accidentally hit someone in the face with my flailing arms. I'm Scottish but I can't ceilidh dance despite being taught it at school, I always go the wrong way which causes it to go wrong for everyone. |
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AnOldHFA
Raven
Joined: Oct 15, 2011
Age: 49
Posts: 116
Location: USA - Lost
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:52 am Post subject: Re: Can you dance? |
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When I was 21 a girl taught me some old country waltz dances. The only time we went out to dance we ended up being the only ones on the dance floor. By the way several women tried cutting in, forcefully, I figured very few men even try to dance.
Later in my twenties I went to nightclubs and found there was no shortage of women wanting to dance. I had no idea if I was good or not, it did not matter.
I remember falling down the first time. It was nothing like I thought. Nobody cared, the girl helped me up and we started dancing like nothing happened.
If anyone pointed out I was bad dancer, I never heard... I was too busy dancing....
Dancing is more about dancing with the partner than just dancing. It is kind of like a relationship, it shows the two are willing to work together. Some of the women were not the most coordinated, I didn't care as long as they tired. In fact I liked them because it showed how much they tried.
All the time, I really thought I could not dance.... Funny, none of the women agreed when I said it. It was the revers when women told me....
I can remember the first 10 times I asked women to dance. It was nearly impossible the first few. After about 10 times and having danced with a few women, it became more natural and at least 1 of 3 would dance, on a good night women would ask me... : )
At one night club I actually had other men clam I was hogging all the women! They cared too much about what they thought and never danced.
Some women point out couples. They had been married for years and danced often. They danced like they were the only two people on Earth. Most girls want someone to dance like that with them, I wanted girls to dance like that with me...
I haven't danced in a long time. I've lived in all the wrong places... Or maybe dancing is becoming a thing of the past... < I hope not. |
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Khyrean
Blue Jay
Joined: May 08, 2012
Posts: 92
Location: London
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:08 am Post subject: |
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I started ballet, too. And apparently I'm rather good considering that I've been doing that for only a few months now and I'm about as flexible as a broomstick.
I have a good feeling for rhythm because I've been playing piano for most of my life.
As long as there is a fixed routine to learn it works rather well. But I need something I can copy and learn by heart. I did a Tango class once and I really liked it. I like the complexity, rhythm and patterns.
I don't dance spontaneously, I just have no idea what to do.. I prefer to feel the music; I suppose you could say I dance in my thoughts - my mind just creates images and scenes when I hear music. I sometimes miss my train stops because I'm so focused on listening I forget everything around me. Music is my lifeline through the world. |
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Stargazer2893
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Aug 19, 2011
Posts: 38
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| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:08 pm Post subject: |
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I've always been good at dancing, but only very technical forms: ballet, belly, jazz, ballroom, latin, etc. I have problems with improvising...I can't just go out to the dance floor & make something up.
_________________
BAPQ: Autistic/ BAP 123 aloof, 86 rigid, 87 pragmatic
AQ test: 36
EQ: 17 SQ: 67 Extreme Systemizer
151/200 AS
64/200 NT |
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Blownmind
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 19, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 823
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:09 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm, my dance history..
At age 10-12, I slowdanced with a girl I was in love with, it was my first slowdance. Somehow, our ears next to eachother, and the music, created some kind of music instrument all by themselves and a high pitched tone was created. I was too perplexed to do something about it, so it all ended after the ~3 minutes of torture with a ringing headache and a sweaty cheek. We never danced again.
At age 12-13, I danced at my local youth club, and I heard later from friends that if only my rytm matched the music, I would have won for sure. Not exactly a compliment.
At age 14, I won a dance contest. I won over the guy with the awesome backflip moves. It was my first time at the local club, and I know it was a setup. I did win, but it was not for being the best dancer. Everyone knew except me.
At age 20, I refused to dance with my girlfriend at the time, she never let me forget it.
At age 24, I was under the impression I could dance, only problem was that for some reason I just couldn't match my girlfriends rythm at the dancefloor. We concluded with; We can both dance, we just don't fit.
At age 32, I write this, and I realize I have made a fool of myself more than I care to admit.
_________________
AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200 |
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theglenster
Blue Jay
Joined: Nov 26, 2010
Posts: 81
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| Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| no |
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kx250rider
Educated Musclehead
Joined: May 16, 2010
Posts: 1955
Location: Dallas, TX and Ventura County, CA
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:12 pm Post subject: |
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I can't. And I don't mean that I haven't tried to learn; I seldom use the word "CAN'T", but I just used it here. By this I mean, I cannot connect an audible rhythm to my body movements, and if you looked at it on a dual-trace oscilloscope, the waveforms would be completely nonlinear, and crossing over each other at random amplitudes and without any perceptible pattern  .
Charles |
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