Roxy1989
Blue Jay
Joined: Dec 07, 2011
Posts: 90
Location: isle of wight
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 Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:05 am Post subject: PDA's -ok if your gay? |
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hi everyone hope your ok?
im very happy at the moment cos my on/off gf and i have finally made it offical and things bewteen us have never been better 
getting to this point has not been without its problems though...its taken her a long time to acpeat who she is and im very proud of her for finally taking that leap and proud she choose to be with me
qestion though.... whats the deal with PDA's if your gay? is it aceaptable to hold hands/ kiss in public,? can you do so without expecing homophobic comments or stares ? me and my gf do hold hands in public sometimes when there isnt many people around. Im very proud to be with her and feel blessed to say she's mine, and i want to be able to show my affection to her in public as i could be with a guy , but at the same time i dont want to draw any negative attention to us , if anyone ever said anything narsty to her i'd go crazy.
what do you guys think?
love y'all
R x
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<3 grayson George Urry <3 05/10/2011
love you always my beautiful boy xxxx |
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visagrunt
Polymath
Joined: Oct 17, 2009
Age: 45
Posts: 5754
Location: Vancouver, BC
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| Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:31 pm Post subject: |
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Like all PDA's, it depends on where you are, who you're with and how big the display is.
Necking in public is generally frowned upon, whether you are gay, straight or otherwise. But necking at a lesbian pub is probably less frowned upon.
As to the more acceptable forms of PDA (a kiss on the lips, holding hands, etc.) the reaction of others is very much dependent upon where you are. In the downtown core of a major city? Probably perfectly fine. On the mainstreet of a small town in the bible belt? Probably not.
Exercise a certain degree of judgement, and I am sure that you will find the experience of being out in public with her to be thrilling and liberating.
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--James |
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questor
Hermit
Joined: Apr 24, 2011
Posts: 1983
Location: Twilight Zone
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| Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 2:23 pm Post subject: Romantic etiquete in public |
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Regardless of gender make-up of a couple, anything more than holding hands, moderate kissing, and moderate hugging are inappropriate in public. Making out by any couple combo should be done in private. Remember there are often going to be kids out in public, and it is not proper to shove more intimate behavior in their faces. Their parents would be in their right to have anyone getting too intimate arrested for public indecency. There are also some adults who don't want to be subject to blatant public displays of sexual activity. Then there are other adults who may decide to join in your fun against your wishes. So keep public displays to modest behavior-- hand holding, modest kissing, and modest hugging.
As for others making negative comments or glaring at you because you are both of the same gender, remember, not everyone shares your views, and everyone is entitled to their own views, even when when you don't agree with those views. In America, we are all entitled to free speech, even when it may offend others. Only things like inciting to riot, or falsely shouting fire in a crowded area, are against the law, although there are many people who illegally make a habit of trying to shut up people just because they express an opposing view.
You are entitled to engage in modest romantic displays in public. However, you will have to put up with the negative comments and glares of those who disagree with same-sex combos. Either get a thick skin and deal with it, or refrain from public displays of romantic behavior. |
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Heidi80
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 05, 2011
Age: 33
Posts: 507
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:11 am Post subject: |
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| Me and my girlfriend often kiss/hug in public. I'm so socially blind that I often don't even notice if people are staring at us. If anyone has problems with my sexual orientation, well, that's their problem. |
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muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1072
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Heidi80 wrote: | | Me and my girlfriend often kiss/hug in public. I'm so socially blind that I often don't even notice if people are staring at us. If anyone has problems with my sexual orientation, well, that's their problem. |
Personally, I dislike PDA's from any sort of relationship, I don't discriminate. 
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"I watched a change in you, It's like you never had wings, now you feel so alive" |
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Sarahliveshere
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 28, 2012
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:16 am Post subject: Re: PDA's -ok if your gay? |
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| Roxy1989 wrote: | | whats the deal with PDA's if your gay? is it aceaptable to hold hands/ kiss in public,? can you do so without expecing homophobic comments or stares ? |
Congratulations to you and your GF!
PDA's are an awkward one. In the UK, there are few places I don't feel comfortable holding hands with my GF. It's generally a safe and tolerant place. It doesn't stop the occasional turnip-head making inappropriate comments. In those instances, I recommend you don't engage with them. As tempting as it is, people who think it's appropriate to make leery comments to complete strangers are not people you can hold rational discussions with, or who are unlikely to see the error of their ways. So don't bother. I agree with another poster that you should exercise caution, judgement and commonsense. I would also add mutual respect.
In terms of what's appropriate/inappropriate behavior, I would try to distinguish between "showing affection" and "displays of a sexual nature". The former, in general, is fine, however, no one wants to see couples (whatever gender) engaged in overt sexualised smooching, touching etc. If your in the throes of a blossoming relationship, it may seem hard knowing where that line is. If in doubt, be discreet.
Personally, I have no problem with hugging or holding hands (in a non-sexual way) if there are children present. Not all interaction between adults is about sex; it can be about companionship, showing support or reassurance, or just being in each others company.
Best of luck. |
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