runfromcheney
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 19, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 21
Location: Metro Detroit
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 Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 9:49 pm Post subject: Getting nowhere on OkCupid...help! |
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To say that I am having a tough time cracking the shell that is dating would be an understatement. I haven't gone on a single date in my life, as I just was unable to meet anyone thoughout high school. So I decided to turn to online dating. No more success. I have been on OkCupid since late 2011, and I have not gotten a single message, and every message I have sent to any girl has not elicited a response. (Some have viewed my profile after I messaged them, which makes me think that something on my profile turned them off.) I just have no real idea how this online dating business works, and I wonder what I am doing wrong.
My profile is http://www.okcupid.com/profile/runfromcheney. |
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:19 pm Post subject: Re: Getting nowhere on OkCupid...help! |
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| runfromcheney wrote: | To say that I am having a tough time cracking the shell that is dating would be an understatement. I haven't gone on a single date in my life, as I just was unable to meet anyone thoughout high school. So I decided to turn to online dating. No more success. I have been on OkCupid since late 2011, and I have not gotten a single message, and every message I have sent to any girl has not elicited a response. (Some have viewed my profile after I messaged them, which makes me think that something on my profile turned them off.) I just have no real idea how this online dating business works, and I wonder what I am doing wrong.
My profile is http://www.okcupid.com/profile/runfromcheney. |
Are you interested in advice on how to improve just your profile or your overall success rate? If the latter, it would help if you posted some sample messages you sent out because those can be a big stumbling block.
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth. |
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1000Knives
It's not difficult if you know how.
Joined: Jul 09, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 4608
Location: CT, USA
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Stargazer43
Scruffy-looking Nerf Herder
Joined: Nov 07, 2011
Posts: 1328
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Your profile looks fine, but it's pretty long. I'd try to trim it up a good bit, and maybe take out the part about video games (most girls aren't exactly attracted to gamers lol). Also you don't look very happy in your pictures, I'd suggest maybe trying to get some of you smiling or engaged in some sort of fun activity. |
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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-I would make this profile shorter and punch it up, try to be succinct more then descriptive, leave room for people to ask questions
-I would have pictures taken in which you have a different facial expression, I think your last one is the best. (but it's not the most flattering angle)
Also try if you can taking some higher quality photos, they tend on average to make people look better (okc mined their data for this info)
- Change your private thing answer because it's standard issue, you're a unique individual, highlight that at every opportunity
-love your facts!, the guy I'm dating now had a similar thing (presented some really cool trivia) on his profile and it was a major draw
Your picture I think are the most urgent of these concerns. I think the lack of expression and iffy lighting isn't helping you lead with your best foot forward.
best of luck, online dating varies a lot by demographic and locale so don't take a lack of response as a personal indictment
you also have a lot of things women (and I'd argue most people) on okc generically (so not all individuals) like to see, 6ft tall (if that's honest and not being generous, only criteria here I think is a gender specific preference, you aren't religious or militantly atheist, you're employed (at a job you like too, life satisfaction is hugely attractive), you're going to school, and you write in complete sentences. Those are all awesome.
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth. |
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yellowtamarin
Elephant Shrew
Joined: Sep 06, 2010
Age: 32
Posts: 1518
Location: Victoria, Australia
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:58 pm Post subject: |
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| DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | -I would make this profile shorter and punch it up, try to be succinct more then descriptive, leave room for people to ask questions
-I would have pictures taken in which you have a different facial expression, I think your last one is the best. (but it's not the most flattering angle)
Also try if you can taking some higher quality photos, they tend on average to make people look better (okc mined their data for this info)
- Change your private thing answer because it's standard issue, you're a unique individual, highlight that at every opportunity
-love your facts!, the guy I'm dating now had a similar thing (presented some really cool trivia) on his profile and it was a major draw
Your picture I think are the most urgent of these concerns. I think the lack of expression and iffy lighting isn't helping you lead with your best foot forward. |
IMO this is all very good advice, basically exactly what I would have said. I'm probably just being picky now because I feel I should try to add something, but you basically open your description by declaring that you are obsessed with something that most chicks aren't into (I'm exaggerating and generalising obviously, but that's the vibe that it gives off, to me). I have no issue with you mentioning your passion for cars, but I'd either tone it down, or put it further down the page.
Last edited by yellowtamarin on Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:59 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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again_with_this
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 14, 2012
Age: 30
Posts: 780
Location: New Jersey, USA
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:58 pm Post subject: |
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| The next time you take a photo that you want to post on OKCupid, remember to say "cheese." |
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runfromcheney
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 19, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 21
Location: Metro Detroit
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:08 am Post subject: |
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| Ok, I uploaded some new photos with better lighting and more positive facial expressions, I cut out some details from my profile, and changed the order by which they appear as well, so my paragraph about me being into cars and loving my job as an auto tech aren't right at the top. |
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:16 am Post subject: |
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| runfromcheney wrote: | | Ok, I uploaded some new photos with better lighting and more positive facial expressions, I cut out some details from my profile, and changed the order by which they appear as well, so my paragraph about me being into cars and loving my job as an auto tech aren't right at the top. |
Wow, what a world of difference! I like the peace sign one best I think, Maybe do a mybestface check on the pictures?
The edits to about me were also imo good choices.
It's good to frequently make edits/additions to your page, 1.) it keeps your profile fresh and dynamic a "living document" 2.) it will drive traffic to your profile because you'll show up in recent activity (this is also why it's good to answer questions with explanations)
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth. |
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Monkeybuttorama
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 20, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 214
Location: Somewhere beyond this pathetic "reality"
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:21 am Post subject: |
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I don't know anything much about dating sites, just have one question.. Who is LBJ?
To me that's my fish's name from when I was a kid (it was a bass minnow, I named him Jupiter, my mom added "lemon and butter" and he was from then on "LBJ - Lemon and butter Jupiter")
Just thought that might need some clarification ^_^
(one thing I did notice is in the bit about cars, you might want to rephrase your current ranking from "low man on the totem pole" which makes the job sound pretty prospect-less to something more like "entry level" which says the same thing, but without the negative connotations) |
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yellowtamarin
Elephant Shrew
Joined: Sep 06, 2010
Age: 32
Posts: 1518
Location: Victoria, Australia
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:25 am Post subject: |
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Much better  |
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runfromcheney
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 19, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 21
Location: Metro Detroit
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:27 am Post subject: |
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| Monkeybuttorama wrote: | | I don't know anything much about dating sites, just have one question.. Who is LBJ? |
What grade did you get in history class?
BTW, heeded. I reworded that sentence to say that I am "just getting started in the business". |
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Monkeybuttorama
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 20, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 214
Location: Somewhere beyond this pathetic "reality"
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:46 am Post subject: |
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| runfromcheney wrote: | | Monkeybuttorama wrote: | | I don't know anything much about dating sites, just have one question.. Who is LBJ? |
What grade did you get in history class?
BTW, heeded. I reworded that sentence to say that I am "just getting started in the business". |
I'm assuming you didn't mean that to be an offensive/rude question. (but to answer, I just finished a history class a cpl weeks ago and got an A)
Even with the picture, I'm sorry, I don't know who that is; I'm terrible with names and with associating them with pictures |
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:49 am Post subject: |
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| Monkeybuttorama wrote: | | runfromcheney wrote: | | Monkeybuttorama wrote: | | I don't know anything much about dating sites, just have one question.. Who is LBJ? |
What grade did you get in history class?
BTW, heeded. I reworded that sentence to say that I am "just getting started in the business". |
I'm assuming you didn't mean that to be an offensive/rude question. (but to answer, I just finished a history class a cpl weeks ago and got an A)
Even with the picture, I'm sorry, I don't know who that is; I'm terrible with names and with associating them with pictures |
He was a US president, the 36th
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth. |
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Monkeybuttorama
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 20, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 214
Location: Somewhere beyond this pathetic "reality"
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:51 am Post subject: |
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| DogsWithoutHorses wrote: |
He was a US president, the 36th |
Thank you, that gave me enough to go on to look it up ^_^ |
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