Monkeybuttorama
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 20, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 214
Location: Somewhere beyond this pathetic "reality"
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 Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:08 am Post subject: |
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Well, ultimately, it's just a label. Telling her you have AS won't suddenly change who you are, the same way putting a name to it didn't change who you were when you discovered it. A diagnosis or label meerly helps with coping and understanding
If she isn't OK with having a better understanding of how to interact with you, and what your specific needs might be, she's not for you.
I'd say, the sooner the better at this point. You prolly don't want to get too attached to someone, and then find out that she's not OK with a diagnosis for traits she already seemed to like, or that she felt you were lying/withholding. |
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deltafunction
Cool cool cool
Joined: Jun 05, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 1088
Location: Lost
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:15 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, knowing the truth about yourself is definitely a burden in a situation like this.
I was blissfully ignorant about my AS when I met my boyfriend, and didn't think much about disclosing it to him after I received my diagnosis, since I was coming to terms with it myself. He has been receptive, and accepted it as a part of me that has always been there.
It sounds like you may have been in a similar situation with being diagnosed while you knew your girlfriend, except you were both friends at the time. I wouldn't be able to keep it quiet for that long, more power to you.
But still, honesty is the best policy in a relationship. Since you know about this now, think of it as a way for you both to know how to work on it to make things better. If one or both of you does not know the reason for your strange behaviours, then there is more misunderstandings and less of a chance to help.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 93 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 109 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits |
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Kjas
Onçinha
Joined: Feb 27, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 4906
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:03 am Post subject: |
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Shat, you'll be fine. I second all of Donkey's opinions of you.
Just pick your timing well.
Goodluck! *hugs*
_________________
Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html |
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Hector
etc., etc.
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Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 2848
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:47 am Post subject: |
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| Monkeybuttorama wrote: | | Well, ultimately, it's just a label. Telling her you have AS won't suddenly change who you are, the same way putting a name to it didn't change who you were when you discovered it. A diagnosis or label meerly helps with coping and understanding |
Yes. AS is primarily a label for a collection of behaviours/symptoms. Anything about you that is strange or different in a manner fitting the diagnosis is something that she has probably already come to accept given that you knew each-other for some time and are four months into a relationship. |
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BlueMax
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot...
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 5281
Location: Alberta, Canada
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:35 pm Post subject: |
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I'm sure she's probably noticed you're "socially awkward" by now anyways. Rather than mentioning AS by name, describe it by the condition... I'd be shocked if she didn't say, "I've known that since day one!"  |
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