Shau
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 25, 2009
Posts: 706
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 Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 10:48 am Post subject: Where to meet the lovely ladies? |
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Where is the best place to practice meeting women?
I've always been told that until you're more of a veteran with the dating game, you should try to avoid hitting on girls you're liable to have to see again from time to time. Of course, there seem to be a couple of obvious choices (bars and clubs), but I don't always wanna go to bars, and clubs are so freaking loud and I'm not exactly a stellar dancer. Where are some other good, consequence-free places to spit my horribly noob game at the ladies so that I can learn to do it like a pro?
I have very realistic expectations about this: It's probably gonna be pretty bad at first. Oh well! Provided I don't have to worry about their opinion later for some reason, I'm remarkably good at not caring. But, I was never really good at finding all the neat places to meet people.
In case it's relevant, I'm 25, male, university student. |
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thewhitrbbit
Phoenix
Joined: May 31, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 2164
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 10:51 am Post subject: |
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Any clubs on campus you might be interested in?
Are you religious? |
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Shau
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 25, 2009
Posts: 706
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:18 am Post subject: |
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Well there's always clubs on campus and stuff, and I've considered the option, but it seems like one of those things that can be horribly awkward when it doesn't work and you gotta be in the same club as them. This is assuming the worst here, of course, I'm pretty sure there's ways to get shot down while still maintaining your good standing, I'm just not relying on being able to do that yet.
As for religious, no. I'm basically a scientific naturalist. |
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Wolfheart
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Age: 23
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Location: Kent, England
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Shau
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 25, 2009
Posts: 706
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:31 am Post subject: |
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| Damn. And the whole reason I made this thread was because I was looking through all the stickies and didn't really see any coverage on places to meet girls. |
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Monkeybuttorama
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 20, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 214
Location: Somewhere beyond this pathetic "reality"
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:33 am Post subject: |
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Beach, park, or while shopping (perhaps a mall?) are the first which comes to me, although *if you are careful* you can also meet ladies at work or school (just make sure you don't hit on someone you work with directly, so someone from another department or whatever *can* be OK, depending on the rules of the workplace. At school, I would say just be kinda careful, and remember professors should stay off-limits until you graduate.
I met my current BF at work. We were on the same team, and both got "promoted" to the "supervisory" team. We did not start dating until we no longer worked together. I would never date a co-worker with whom I still work.
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Duncan
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 25, 2012
Posts: 144
Location: Colchester, Essex, UK
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:40 am Post subject: |
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| One place I've meet nice girls was in my university library, the advantage of the library is that everyone there will be similar to you and you can just go back to your studies if things don't work out. Critically, it was quiet and full of girls bored with their studies. I was lucky enough to go to an university with a large central library that had flexible rules on noise level. |
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Shau
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Joined: Oct 25, 2009
Posts: 706
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 12:01 pm Post subject: |
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Definitely liking the library idea, esp the university library we've got.
The mall is another interesting choice, but it seems less obvious. Girls will be at desks or looking at books in the library, but what circumstances would you end up finding girls to talk to at the mall? Walking from shop to shop? At the food court? While shopping in a store?
The last one seems like the most feasible here, I'd guess I'd wait for them to be looking at something I find interesting? Inbetween shops, they'd either be walking, talking with friends, or kinda on their own, seems tricky. Hard to figure out how to "start", even if I have all the stones necessary to approach them. Food court? Busy eating, might not be too interested in chatting. |
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Monkeybuttorama
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 20, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 214
Location: Somewhere beyond this pathetic "reality"
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 12:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Shau wrote: | Definitely liking the library idea, esp the university library we've got.
The mall is another interesting choice, but it seems less obvious. Girls will be at desks or looking at books in the library, but what circumstances would you end up finding girls to talk to at the mall? Walking from shop to shop? At the food court? While shopping in a store?
The last one seems like the most feasible here, I'd guess I'd wait for them to be looking at something I find interesting? Inbetween shops, they'd either be walking, talking with friends, or kinda on their own, seems tricky. Hard to figure out how to "start", even if I have all the stones necessary to approach them. Food court? Busy eating, might not be too interested in chatting. |
There are a few options at the mall; the shopping thing would def. work, it's easy enough to make a comment about something they are looking at like "ooh, I noticed that, too, pretty cool!", you could try sitting and people watching, and if someone looks at you that you find attractive, smile in a friendly way, if you have something unique or interesting about you, it could be a good conversation starter (like an awesome shirt the girl may be able to comment on or some such) this also works outside the mall if you smoke or are OK with smokers (I've met more people while outside smoking then anywhere else, although I've quit and can no longer stand the smell) you could sit in the middle of the bench, and move over to offer a seat; they will be a semi-captive audience long enough to start a small chat, and most smokers are accustomed to having conversations in that 5 min period.
You could also "do an informal survey" about something random (bonus if you can actually do this for a class, and double-bonus, this can also be used in other settings, like campus or on the street.) and ask if they would like to spend just a moment answering a couple of non-personal questions, such as relating to opinions or interests. Kinda sneaky, but I've seen it work, as long as you don't ONLY ask pretty girls their opinion, and you DO actually collect results. It would also help with the confidence factor, since you'd be "working" and thus if you get rejected (someone declines to talk to you) while doing so, it's not so much on you, but that response alone tells you they aren't interested. Not only does that option make it super-easy to approach people, since you don't have to come up with a conversation starter, it also makes you approachable.
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Does this make enough sense? If not, please feel free to ask for clarification! ^_^ |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Shau wrote: | | Damn. And the whole reason I made this thread was because I was looking through all the stickies and didn't really see any coverage on places to meet girls. |
Good point, I have posted it in the essential love & dating section in case people need it for future reference or if someone has a similar question to yours. |
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1000Knives
It's not difficult if you know how.
Joined: Jul 09, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 4600
Location: CT, USA
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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The gym, skating (ice or roller), parks, basically any place with athletic activity going on. Beach too isn't bad, but then most girls there seem to have boyfriends. Hell most girls everywhere seem to have boyfriends.
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Wolfheart
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Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
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Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:43 pm Post subject: |
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| 1000Knives wrote: | | The gym, skating (ice or roller), parks, basically any place with athletic activity going on. Beach too isn't bad, but then most girls there seem to have boyfriends. Hell most girls everywhere seem to have boyfriends. |
Sometimes boys that are with girls are simply friends or they are in a relationship for the status or for the sake of being in a relationship.
Once I approached a girl and a boy, they had previously been holding hands around the park, I approached them and she said she had two invites to a University party, she invited me and the other guy she was with couldn't really speak English and she told me they were just friends, it was odd but it goes to show. |
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Tequila
Trust the people!
Joined: Feb 26, 2006
Posts: 26045
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:52 pm Post subject: |
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If you just want to get laid, Wolfheart, you shouldn't have too much of a problem with that.  |
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JanuaryMan
Aspierational
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 2548
Location: Hants, UK
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | | 1000Knives wrote: | | The gym, skating (ice or roller), parks, basically any place with athletic activity going on. Beach too isn't bad, but then most girls there seem to have boyfriends. Hell most girls everywhere seem to have boyfriends. |
Sometimes boys that are with girls are simply friends or they are in a relationship for the status or for the sake of being in a relationship.
Once I approached a girl and a boy, they had previously been holding hands around the park, I approached them and she said she had two invites to a University party, she invited me and the other guy she was with couldn't really speak English and she told me they were just friends, it was odd but it goes to show. |
Yes, there are people that do this. There is one girl that used to hang around with me a lot to seem desirable even though she herself didn't really want to go out with me. Which was fine, cos I didn't want to go out with her, either  just hang out and chat about work and life.
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DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
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| Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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Bars/clubs aren't for everybody but they are a place people go into expecting there to be flirting/ hitting on/ lines etc.
The mall and the library don't carry those expectations.
Meeting people out and about isn't a bad idea but don't get too upset if people aren't appreciative of advances while they're shopping or trying to study.
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If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth. |
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